I'm just me, nothing special
by A Mind That Sits Still
Summary: <html><head></head>This is a very different take. Ashley Davies moved across the country for her little brother but she didn't expect to find her.</html>
1. One

Here I am in LA and it is strange. You're probably wondering why, so let me explain. My name is Ashley Davies. Yes, my dad was the famous Raife Davies. Blah, blah, blah! Me and my younger brother Kayden were born and raised in a small town in PA called West Grove. You ask what about our mother? Well you see after daddy dearest committed suicide, our mom changed and ran off with my older sister Brooke. Brooke is ten years older and yeah I got some issues about that. Leaving my little brother to help me… Are you thinking why isn't it the other way around? I have cerebral palsy. No it's not a deadly disease. It's a disability that makes my own body my personal hell. I use a power wheelchair because I can't walk. I use an application on my I-Pad to talk because I am what many call a "nonverbal." When I actually do talk, I don't hear what others hear. To me, I hear like I'm talking "normal" but sadly it's hard for most people to understand. It's no big deal.

Well anyway, I'm in LA for my brother. Six months ago, my little brother who is a flipping genius got accepted into UCLA. I would like to believe I played a part in my sixteen year old brother's intelligence. I taught him everything. SIKE! Oh by the way I'm seventeen. Even though I've got a high IQ, I decided I wanted a "normal" life. I guess Kayden wanted a different life so he graduated from Avon Grove high School when he was fourteen. I was so proud of him. I convinced him to be a normal teen for a year before applying to colleges. I just wanted Kayden to have a life before jumping into college. When I was thirteen I became more independent and took care of him.

My mom's parents' were drunks and used us for our money. Luckily, we had the best lawyer who never charged more than twenty five hundred per month. Trust me it was penny change compared to all the money they could've taken from us. Anyway, back to the story. Where was I? Oh yeah, my brother and UCLA. While Kayden was applying to top colleges, I decided to invest in a bad-ass power chair which was called the "Davies Edition 143." I also bought a black hummer, customized with "Golden AngelHearts" which was more than equipped for my needs. I will follow my little brother. Not in a creepy way. He's all I got in this messed up family.

So I had Mike, which by the way is the name of our lawyer, to help me look for places to live near the locations where Kayden was applying for school. I knew without a doubt he would get accepted but which university he would choose to attend was anybody's guess. So I trusted Mike with helping me look because although he is our lawyer, he's also like an uncle. He and my dad grew up together so basically I don't think he would screw me and Kayden over. I'm sorry if I'm confusing you, I also have A.D.D. (Attention Deficit Disorder) My mind jumps around as you can see, so bare with me.

Kayden had narrowed it down to three colleges; Yale, Harvard and UCLA. Which helped Mike out a lot. God I love that man. Before I tell you about LA, I've got to get my grandparents from hell out of the way. No I didn't murder them, granted I won't deny it ever crossing my mind. Mike had to help Kayden and I figure out a way to terminate their custody. Boy it wasn't easy. The fact that I have C.P. didn't help our case out too much. I had to prove that not only was I capable of caring for myself but also that I could be a responsible guardian for Kayden. It was the longest month of my life. I think I proved myself to them within the first week because after that the people observing had backed off a bit, but it was still annoying. I was lucky that I had already perfected using my crutches before that crap, thank God for physical therapy four times a week. I started when I was seven. It took six long years to get to where I was, about ninety-five percent dependent upon myself. I hated that I couldn't have accomplished this sooner for Kayden but I guess my brain and body needed time.

So anyway, after three months the court thankfully granted us everything we had asked. At this time, Kayden got acceptance letters from all three universities. Boy was I proud! He hated that I refused to help him to choose which school to attend. I wanted him to know that the decision wasn't mine to make and that I'd support whatever he chose. It took him a week to pick UCLA and Mike had already picked out the perfect loft for us, mostly for me since Kayden planned to live on campus. Campus-life was another reason why I made him wait a year before applying to schools. I know what kind of trouble he could get into if he starts hanging with the wrong crowd or fraternity. I didn't want my fifteen year old brother to have adult experiences that early on in life. At least at sixteen he knew what kind of limits he had set for himself. I sound like a mother, I know, but if you were in my wheels, you would be the same.

We decided to give the drunks five hundred thousand dollars, even though they didn't deserve it. However, we aren't greedy and they were, unfortunately, our family. We wanted them to know that regardless of their actions, we were thankful for the roof over our heads. I made Kayden fly to California while I drove across the country. Planes scare me and I was not leaving "AngelHeart" my hummer behind. She's my baby. It took me two weeks to get to LA, due to some pretty cool stops. I bought Kayden something from each state. By the time I'd arrived, he had already claimed most of second floor, which I didn't mind. He told me there was a room in the loft that he thought would be perfect for my artistic side. I draw, paint and write (songs, poetry, stories). Kayden thinks that someday I'll be a famous songwriter/novelist, but in order for me to become famous someone would have to actually read my work. That's not going to happen.

Anyway, once I noticed that the loft was right above the beach, I raced in my chair and made it to the sand in less than thirty seconds. I'm in love with the ocean.

"Hi big sis! I knew you'd head here first."

Kayden's voice was all I needed to hear. I turned around and gave him the BIGGEST bear hug.

"Hey bro. I missed you. Damn, why didn't anyone tell me about the beach? I would've gotten here a week early."

Even though I was talking without using my I-Pad, he could understand me. My brother is one of the very few people who can. Kayden's brown eyes were twinkling and he was smiling ear to ear.

"Well sis, I wanted to surprise you. You didn't hesitate rearranging your whole life, moving all the way from Pennsylvania to California just for me. This was the least I could do for you."

I was speechless.

"Hey now, I couldn't stay in PA while my handsome little brother went to the other side of the country by himself. I've got to look out for you, and keep you away from all the little blonde Cali whores."

Just then, someone caught my eye. Kayden noticed it too, because I was staring past him.

"Hmm sis, what are you staring at?"

"Hmm nothing! Let's go check out our new place. Grab my crutches for me so I can check out the second floor."

I threw my keys to him and he walked to AngelHeart. I wasn't sure if I should tell Kayden, but I think the person that had caught my eye moments ago was the same person I had been dreaming of. I could see her face so clearly in my dreams that I had even been able to sketch her picture a couple times. I shook my head, as if I were trying to rid my brain of the thought.

I got to the front door of the loft and realized that this is the first time I had really paid attention to what it looked like since I first arrived. The walls were light blue with some gray, and from where I was sitting it looked huge! Kayden closed my mouth and laughed.

"Let's go inside you goof."

I hit him in his gut in a playful way, put my power chair into a lower speed and we went in. First thing I saw was a drawing I did of Kayden and I at his graduation. I couldn't help but to smile.

"You approve that it's in the perfect spot?"

Kayden's voice was a bit nervous.

"Of course that's a perfect spot! Now, what's next?"

Kayden smiled and point to the kitchen. My eyes popped out. Everything was accessible! The stove had an open space underneath of it where the oven would normally be so I would be able to cook. The oven and microwave were together. The refrigerator wasn't tall, but it was three times as wide, with a freezer right next to it. The cabinets are at my level, so it will be easy for me to not only reach them, but also whatever is inside them. The wallpaper was perfect. Light yellow with lilies.

"WOW!"

Kayden was really about tear up.

"I thought this kitchen would be perfect for you so I designed it on paper and sent it to Mike. I'm glad you like it."

I looked at Kayden and gave him a huge smile.

"I love it and you did a damn good job! You thought of everything!"

Kayden blushed and then he hugged me.


	2. Day

**A/N:Hey guys, I want to thank all who reviewed. I wasn't sure if this story would be like but I guess I was wrong. I have fix chapter one honestly I forgot to paragraph it so hopefully it'd be easy. O I don't own Spashley or South of Nowhere. This story is kinda to open up peoples eyes. I kinda put my personal feelings thru Ashley. Yes I have Spastic Quadriplegia Cerebral Palsy. No I can't do most of stuff Ashley does. I just figure let my dreams live thru Ashley. O I need help figuring what Kayden's Major will be.**

My stomach began making noises. Kayden just went to the fridge and pulled out half of ham and started slicing it up.

"Geez bro, take an easy on Babe."

He just laughed and continuing to slaughter the pig.

"How much had you have to eat past two weeks?"

He looked up in my eyes so I can't tell a white lie.

"Enough to keep me from starving but not so much. You know I barely eat out but I managed."

Kayden sighed.

"I thought you gotten over of it. You shouldn't hide because ignorant people. You shouldn't be embarrass cause them people. Some day, you need feel comfortable eating in front of complete strangers because you are missing out of great restaurants."

I know what he is saying but he doesn't get it.

"Kayden, I know ok. It is hard for me feel comfortable when I see people with disgust on their faces and even if I don't look, I feel their eyes on me. I know I need to not give a shit about what others think but it's not that simple. So I heard you for the 99th time and for the 99th time, please drop it."

I didn't realize that there were tears on my cheeks. I hate that I can't get to that point where I don't give a fuck of what others think.

Kayden stayed quiet for a while before responding.

"I just want to see my big sis enjoy her life to fullest. That's all. You barely do anything for yourself. I mean put yourself first. We both know I don't need to be number one priory most of the time. Thanks to you, I grew up with love and caring. You did everything in your power to give me a good life."

I wiped my eyes and smile alittle.

"Ok college boy, we are in Los Angeles. So don't worry. I'll get myself into something I promise. I can't believe how far we came from with only you and me. I love you kid."

I decided to make myself useful. I went to the cabinets and get two plates and cups. I set the table up while Kayden doing whatever to the ham. I looked in the fridge and laughed.

"Hm don't you think we have enough wawa fruit punch to last six months?"

Ok I may over exaggerate it but I saw about twenty half gallons.

"The way you drink that stuff, I'll be surprise if it last two weeks. I won't be shock if you sweat red while you in P.T. Oh before I forget, Paula Carlin may be able be your physical therapist. Sara called me."

Kayden looked a bit uneasy talking about Sara. She was only physical therapist that I have worked with since I was seven. So it was hard for me to say goodbye to the one person who helped me to become independant and given me the support I needed. She is like a mom to me.

"What did you just say? I thought this Carlin lady was sooooooooo fucking busy to even meet me."

I spent three months before moving to Los Angeles, playing phone tag with her people. Some dick told me Paula was too busy. She is in the top ten best physical therapists of USA.

"Hm Ashley, calm down. I know this is hard for you to replace Sara-"

I put my hand up.

"Don't ever say that to me. I am not replacing Sara. I need a great pt in LA and Sara isn't here. I'm just little tired of BS I went through with the pricks. What did Sara say?"

Kayden got finish cutting the ham. He gotten the loaf of bread and put away the uncut ham and sat next to me.

"Well she wrote Paula a hmmmmmm nasty email telling her how ignorant that her workers were to a possible client. In few minutes after Sara sent that email, Paula called and apolized. She asked about you and Sara spent three hours talking on your behalf. She has given me the number that you need to text Paula."

My jaw dropped. I didn't expect Sara to do that but then again I shouldn't be shock. Kayden started piling ham on my bread. I smiled at him.

"Could you call T-Mobile for me to change my number first? I don't wanna see the roaming charges. I know my bill is going to be high this month."

I started eating. Kayden did his famous full mouth nod. Yea where there food, we rather eat than talk. We love to eat but we never gain weight. We ate 3 sandwiches each.

"Wow, that was great ham."

He started to blush.

"You are going miss my cooking once I leave for college."

"You still coming home Sundays right?"

UCLA is about a hour away. He just got his license. He bought an used BMW. I know why he went for used one. Kayden doesn't want to depend on the inheritance so he saved four years worth of money from doing odd jobs. He loves his mini van to death.

"Yea if not I'll be definitely be here a day of week. You know I am going to miss our dinners."

"Yea I know, maybe in near future, I'll treat you to dinner at In and Out."

It got a huge smile from him.

He got up and put the dishes in dishwasher.

"Wanna finish the tour now? Since you only saw the amazing kitchen."

Kayden sounded overly hyper. Even tho I am tired, I nodded.

"Lets do upstairs first then my bedroom last cause my bed is calling my name. Is the manual chair upstairs or am I walking?"

He looked alittle guilty.

"If you want you can take a nap now. I have forgotten you been on the road past two weeks."

I looked him straight in the eye.

"Let's do the tour. Hell I cannot wait to see the room that you think is perfect to be my creativity room. But first call T-mobile while I finish my drink."

I handed him my cell. While he deal with T-Mobile, I stretched out my legs because I hate when they go into a spasm spell when I am walking. Usually stretching helps.

I grabbed my water bottle and filled it up with lime G2. Kayden bought it by gallons because I barely drink water. So I drink G2 when I'm doing physical stuff. Walking takes alot out of me so I try drink to keep myself hydrate. I got myself setup near the stairs. I took a mental note on how many steps and they are covered with black carpet. I counted twelve stairs. I so hope my manual chair is up there or I'll be screw.

"Here's your new number. Sorry the idiots tried saying I was not on the account so it took longer. It'll take up to twenty four hours for that new number to take an effect. They'll send a text."

I am so fortunate to have him as my little brother.

"Thanks Kay, I really appreciated it. Do you mind carrying my bottle while I test the stairs the first time?"

He unclipped the bottle.

"Are you sure you want do this while you are tired?"

I didn't answer him. I grabbed the rail on the staircase to see I feel comfortable. My body tensed up which I sat back down. Kayden looked worried. I know when I have some fear, my body reacts. I got my crutches and stood. My body reacted better so I gave Kayden a look to tell him to stop worrying. I did what Sara told me. Take a breath and put left crutch on the step then my left foot then right crutch then right foot. It has taken me twenty minutes. Kayden was quiet which helped me to stay focus on the steps. Thank god he had my manual chair there. I collapsed in my chair. My legs started spasming so bad.

"You should push me since you know where to go."

I tried sound like I was not effected by the spasms but Kayden knew I was in pain. I practically drank the entire bottle in one breath.

"I'm showing you my man cave first."

I rolled my eyes. Kayden seem to think I'll stay away from his "man cave" he got it wrong. He pushed me to the last room in the hall.

"Some man cave you got."

What was my brother thinking? A disco ball seriously? Ok I take it back I'll stay far away. The room looked like Saturday night fever/grease theme. Kayden is obsessed with John Travolita.

"Hey now, It's awesome."

He flipped the switch. O my god kill me now.

"KAY, SHUT THAT SHIT OFF."

It was the Saturday Night Fever theme song. I absolute hate it,

"Ok I guess you will stay out."

Kayden is smirking.

"You are sneaky but not as sneaky you think."

I wheeled myself to the love seat and push the tv button. How did I know a hundred inch screen would come down? Easy, I am a davies too. There are things we go big or won't have them at all. In Kayden's case, tvs are his thing. I am fine with twenty four inch but Kayden is different.

"How did you know?"

He looked defeated. I just cracked up.

"Well little bro, you're a Davies who happens to have a thing for big tvs. So I just know how you think."

He flopped down on the velvet sofa.

"You get a bit creepy when you know my thinking. Press the blue button. I set this feature up in four rooms."

I pushed blue button. My jaw dropped. I love it. Its a view of every room of house and outside.

"Kay, this is a great idea but we need hm disable the bedrooms and bathrooms due the reasons it'll be very uncomfortable."

He smiled.

"Big sis, you gotta see something before thinking ahead of yourself. In the personal rooms, there's a combination box cause I'd feel little comfortable they will be watch when we are not here. Bathrooms can be permantly disabled but bedrooms I have it set up differently. I'll show you when we go to see my bedroom and yours."

He jumped up and walked to the mini fridge and showed me he had put g2 in there for me if I decide to come up often.

"You thought every detail through."

He shrugged and looked at me seriously.

"I still don't feel comfortable you being here by yourself. Are you sure you can do this?"

I wheeled myself towards my brother. I pulled him down to my level.

"I need to do this. I am capable Kay. I got to do this for me. Pass ten years, we've been looking out for each other but we both held back on our own lives. Don't get me wrong I would do it all over again but it's time for both us to experience life without worrying. You are a college guy now which scares me but I know you're ready. Now you got to trust me when I say I'm ready to start a life on my own even if it scares you."

Am I seriously ready? No but my brother needs his big sister reassurance.

"Wanna to go my room or THE mystery room?"

"I suppose we can go your room first but no funny business. I don't do incest."

I couldn't resist a joke. It got me an evil glare from Kayden.


	3. I'm

**A/N: Ok guys, I'm so sorry it has tooken this long to update. Only excuse I have is my mind wasn't into this. I have alot that went on past few wks. Anyway I wanted to thank my friend for proof reading she's the best. I wanted to thank ya'll who reading and reviewing. I didn't expect any reviews but it does feel greatt to know thazt there is people liking this. BTW When Ashley uses her I-PAD, it'll be in bold and itiaic because I-Pad voice is computer voice. So hope you enjoy**

As on cue, Kayden took my water bottle and filled it up before restoring his man-cave to its original state. Boy, sometimes I have to wonder about Kayden. I just don't get the whole disco ball. How many man caves have them? If I found out that Kayden is gay or bi, I wouldn't care. I love him to death. Hell, I don't know what I am myself. If I've been dreaming about some girl with amazing blue eyes since I was ten, doesn't that mean I could be at least bi? The thing is I could only see her face. Just as I was trying to picture it, Kayden snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Earth to the dreamer, I've been trying to get your attention for a few minutes."

I looked at him.

"Sorry just thinking…"

Kayden gave me an odd look.

"You have been zoning out a lot lately. What is in your crazy head?"

He knew I would give a vague answer, so I gave him exactly what he expected.

"A dream."

I was not ready to tell him any more of it.

"So it's the same dream?"

I just nod and surprisingly, he let it go.

"Let's finish the tour so you can get in touch with your bed."

"Ok, that sounds good to me! You push."

Kayden took us to the room with a bright red door.

"What is with the red door?"

This is going to be interesting.

"I wanted it to be different."

He half smiled and then opened the door.

"I didn't do much to it, considering I wouldn't be using this room that much in next seven or more years."

While he was explaining, I looked around. I wasn't expecting to see a normal room. I had to admit my brother did a great job besides the Eagles shit he put up on the walls. Pardon my French, but I am a Steelers fan. For those of you who don't follow football, The Steelers and The Eagles are both football teams in Pennsylvania.

Ok, the room has the usual. On his king sized bed he had an Eagles silk sheet with pillows and a comforter. On his wall above his headboard is a blown up picture of him and dad holding guitars. It was taken a few days before dad killed himself. On the rest of walls, he has pictures of me and his friends. \

"Wow, it looks great."

"Thanks Ashley! So, do you want to see something cool?"

I nodded. He went to his dresser and picked up a watch. I was little confused.

"This watch is connected to my room's camera. If I want to turn it on or off, all I have to do is press a few buttons in the right order."

He turned his T.V. on and you could see, through multiple cameras, a view of the whole house. He showed me where his room was on the screen. It disappeared after Kayden used the watch.

"No freaking way. How do you do that? That's awesome!"

He just smiled.

"I know a lot about this stuff. So I wanted for us to have some control over the cameras in our bedrooms and even spare rooms have some form of a device for those cameras. Mine is a watch, yours would be your chair once I program it. I am going to do it later."

I don't know why he's majoring to become a brain doctor when he should be doing something in technology or designing houses. I should have a talk with him later.

"You do know I want the bathrooms camera free before you leave right? Even if they are disconnected, I can't have someone find them and freak out on me."

Kayden just nodded.

"I wasn't thinking about that part. So how about we make a deal? If I take them out tonight, you have to come with me somewhere tomorrow night."

Damn it. He probably would wait until right before he leaves for U.C.L.A. and I'm not too comfortable by myself.

"But I haven't unpacked so I wouldn't have anything to wear."

Stupid excuse.

"We have to go to the mall tomorrow anyway so you can get an outfit there. You know you want to go. Stop making lame excuses and just say yes!"

I hate how he does this. "Fine, deal." Kayden just cracked up. I was getting annoyed, so I ran over his foot to wipe that look off his face.

"OUCH!"

"You should know better than to laugh at me while I'm tired and grouchy. And where did I just agree to go to?"

At least I wasn't in Davies 143 or his foot would be broken.

"Well Ashley, I'm not going to tell. Hence the reason why I said 'somewhere.' Next time, punch me in the gut. My feet are precious."

What the hell? Did he just say that?

"Walk it off like a man. I am going to check out the room with the midnight blue door while you sit in your room and cry about your foot."

I am such an evil spineless sister at times. I can't always be good to my little brother or I wouldn't have any fun. As I was getting ready to leave the room, I hesitated. Maybe it was time to get some things clear.

"Kayden, I have three rules about this place. 1.) If you or I have a date and are expecting bring them back here, we have to warn each other. Mostly so I can decide to not be here. Even though you are still young, I would not interfere and I would expect the same from you. 2.) No drugs. Drinking is ok, but that's it. I'd prefer you to be here if you want to drink but I can't control your whereabouts. I am not giving you permission to drink but I am saying if you do, I want you to be safe. 3.) If shit hits the fan, we both have to trust each other. Meaning there's nothing you could do to disappoint me unless you keep things from me or are dishonest. I'm not going to be strict but you better keep your limits."

Kayden looked stunned.

"Ashley, I swear to you, there will be no drugs in this house. I'll definitely keep the rules in my head. I appreciate that you have so much faith in me."

Kayden was still holding his foot. I just nodded and led myself to the door that had caught my eye since we had first came upstairs. I was just about to open the door, when my phone started to go off. I checked to see who was texting me, and it was from T-Mobile telling me that my new number is in effect. I wasn't in too much of a hurry to let people know. My focus got back to the blue door in front of me.

"Hmm… I know that's a good color and all but the door won't open on its own."

"Haha very funny smartass! I got distracted with my phone."

I noticed a smile on his face. I am guessing this is the room he was talking about. I took a deep breath and opened it

.  
>"Holy cow!"<p>

That's all I could say. The room is empty but damn it's beautiful.

"I didn't know if I should set this room up without you. Do you see why I thought this room is the best for you?"

It is basically three walls and sliding doors to the balcony. It is facing towards the ocean. The walls are light blue and the ceiling has a golden huge angelheart with a pair of blue eyes.

"Yes I can see why, but I've got a question."

He added to my design, and in a very unique way.

"I'm guessing it is about the eyes, right?"

I nodded. "Well you see, I umm… unpacked a box of yours by an accident and umm… a notebook umm… completely by accident opened to a umm… pair of incredible blue eyes and-"

I'd heard enough.

"Which box?"

He knows I wasn't too happy.

"It wasn't labeled and it has your notebooks in it. I swear I only looked in one book."

I looked at him.

"So you snooped?"

He became nervous because he knows that my notebooks are off limits.

"Once you realized it was MY box, you just couldn't let it go and looked through my personal notebook. Am I right?"

Before he could say anything, I kept on going.

"And you just alter my angelheart with THOSE eyes. How the fuck am I suppose to feel? Cause right now I feel betrayed."

I decided to open the sliding door and wheel myself onto the balcony. God this is beautiful. Kayden waited few minutes to follow me onto the balcony.

"Don't you want to know why I did it?"

I just stared at the ocean.

"Because for the past year and a half, you've been very distant. At first, I thought it was all that court crap but I realized that notebook was taking my place. You still talk to me, but not nearly as much as before. So I unintentionally opened one of your boxes, when I noticed what in it. My curiosity got the best of me. I only wanted to look in one notebook. When I did, I found a pair of blue eyes on almost every page. I was mesmerized by those incredible eyes. And for the record I didn't alter your design. Now you have a drawing called Blue Angelheart. I'm sorry but I don't regret it. Because now I know what's going on with you."

At this point, tears are running down my face.

"I highly doubt that you do, ok?"

He kneeled down and started rubbing my back.

"Who is she? Why are you drawing her face? Were you guys… having a thing?"

Whoa! What? It took me a few minutes to process the questions.

"Ok, I don't even know if she is real."

For some reason I got the urge to stand. I used the railing to keep my balance.

"What?"

I'm hating this conversation.

"It doesn't matter."

I sat back down.

"How can you tell me to be honest with you if you are not being honest with me? I know this matters to you if you drew her constantly. What is it that you are trying so hard to not tell me? Does Haley know?"

Haley James is Sara's daughter, and she's also my best friend. In the beginning, I wasn't too friendly to her. I thought she was being my friend out of pity. When we turned twelve, something happened that involved Haley's future ex-high-school boyfriend's brother and she saved me before anything could happen. We decided to keep it between us. From that day until the day that I left we were inseparable.

"No, she doesn't know. Hell Kayden, why does it matter? It is just a drawing."

I saw the hurt in his brown eyes.

"Will you drop it after today if I tell you?"

He took a deep breath.

"I can't promise anything but spill."

I turned to face him so that I could look him in his eyes. This way, he would know I wasn't lying.

"I have been dreaming of her face since I was ten. And for the past year and a half, I have been really confused about… me. I can't really explain it so I draw. I thought I saw her today, but I must be too tired."

Kayden just stared. I could tell he was in deep thought.

"Ashley, I have to ask you this and I want you to know I won't judge. Is this dream girl the ideal person that you umm… want to spend your life with?"

I broke the eye contact and looked down at the waves.

"I do not know."

I heard a sigh from him.

"If you are scared to admit to me that there is a possibility of you liking girls, I just want you to know that I'll love you no matter what. You're my big sis who went through hell for me. There's no fucking way I'd disown you because you might be gay."

That put a smile on my face.

"Thanks little bro. I needed to hear that."

Just then, Kayden's cell phone started ringing.

"Yo man, what's up? Nah, not tonight. Because my sis just got here, but we are still on for tomorrow night. Yes my sis is coming and no you've already got Maddy so don't even try it or I'll kick your ass. Ok later Aid."

I raised my eyebrows. Geez he can make friends easy!

"That was Aiden," he said. "We met at the gym. You will meet him tomorrow night. By the way, you are welcome."

He gave me a Davies hug. I will explain later.

"So…" I said. "I totally know how to hook the room up. We'll talk about my idea later. We need to finish the tour."

He showed me the upstairs bathroom. It wasn't set up for me, but he made sure the toilet and sink were accessible. He even asked if I was mad that the bathroom wasn't set up for me. I was like, "No way! I wouldn't use it that much, anyways." The spare room had the usual.

"Ok, now can you help me back down? My legs are tired."

He picked me up like a baby and sat me into my power chair.

"Thanks."

Kayden smiled. It has been a while since I asked for help.

"No problem. You are lucky I work out."

I punched him.

"Remember that I'm tired."

If I really wanted to hurt him, I would aim lower.

"I assume the living room is like practically empty, so can we skip it? I know we need to go shopping tomorrow."

Kayden just nods and point to a room at the far end of the house.

"Do you want to go in there by yourself while I get your bags out of the car? I'll unload the rest tomorrow."

I don't remember him giving back my keys.

"You got my keys right?"

He pulled them out of his pocket.

"Want the buffister too?"

I smiled huge and quickly nodded. Buffister is my pride and joy. It's an elecric piano.

I headed to the door. It has a fainted angel wing. You're probably wondering what is with all these angels and hearts. You'll see later on. I opened the door and WOW! Kayden knows me so well. I could tell that this room was added to the loft. My brother knows I won't do the stairs two times or more to get to my room. Anyways, this particular room was probably the biggest room of the loft. Kayden built the desk himself, because he knew that it's hard to find one that I can use while I'm in my chair. I kind of helped him with the desk by making a sketch to give him an idea of what I would like. Ok let me explain… The frame is bolted to the floor so it won't move when I spin the top. It's about 6x6, in the shape of a circle. On it there is a desktop for personal use, a laptop that I use for all of my music and some recording equipment including a ton of speakers. Plus, there's even a bookshelf for my notebooks.

Kayden bought a Phillies baseball jersey and hung it up next to my painting of a white tiger. It was a pitcher, Cole Hamels. The bed is lower than most because it is easier for me that way. When I took a closer look, all I could think was, 'I'll be sleeping on a certain blonde.' He got me Buffy Summers sheets. I am overly obsessed with Buffy. Don't hate on me haha. Kayden painted my walls sky blue and the ceiling is black and full of stars. He did great. I spot a picture on my dresser. "You like it?" I jumped because he startled me, and Kayden laughed so hard.

"You are so lucky I love it or you'd be dead. Where did you find that picture?"

Kayden calmed down.

"The drunk lady gave it to me saying, 'You should have it.'"

I picked it up and stared at it.

"She promised she'd come back to save us but she never did. I needed my big sister but she never came back. Take it before I burn it."

We looked happy. I was five and my sister was standing behind me holding me up. It was the first time I stood. The smile on both of our faces was priceless. I looked up at Kayden, his face looked just as broken as mine.

"I should have protected you from them but you never let me. I'm sorry."

"Ok, I never regret having them focus on me, because that protected you. Do not be sorry."

I did what I always do when it comes to him, I pulled him into my lap and hugged him.

"I'm grateful I've got a sis like you but I wish that you didn't have to go through all of that for nine years."

Tears welled up in both of our eyes.

"You were worth it, ok? I couldn't let him beat the dreams out of you or the bitch make you feel like you are nothing. I hate Christine for leaving us in their care but I hate Brooke more for knowing how they were treating me and never coming back for us. That hurts more than the beatings I endured."

This is the first time that we actually talked about Brooke and our grandparents from hell.

"Ashley, they destroyed you. I don't even remember Brooke, but I remembered the first time he tried punching me for crying. You grabbed me and put yourself in harm's way. He went on you like a punching bag. After an hour, he got tired. You were crying. You told me that you loved me and you would never let them get to me."

I was crying hard now.

"I'd go through it all again for you."

We sat there crying until we calmed down. Then, through the silence and the faint sound of sniffles, Kayden's cell rang again.

"Hey Haley! Yeah, she is in LA. Calm down! She'll call you after she gets settled in."

He looked at me and mouthed, 'You up to talking to the beast?' I shook my head no.

"She's in the tub right now. I don't know when she'll be out. Hell no! I'm not disturbing her. GOODBYE!"

He picked the picture up off of the floor.

"I will keep this until you want it. Are you ok?"

I wiped my eyes.

"I'll be ok. Our past will always be with us. I need to let the scars start to heal, but right now I'm not ready."

I looked around to get familiar.

"You should see your bathroom before you dive onto Buffy."

I had to laugh.

"Is that the door over there?"

He nodded and walked into the bathroom. I was starting to feel drained. My bed was looking really comfortable right about then, but I had to see the bathroom. As soon I wheeled in, I saw Kayden taking down the camera.

"I know you wouldn't use the bathroom until I took it down."

Hell, this was the biggest bathroom I had ever saw! My bathtub was a Jacuzzi tub. My eyes wandered over to the shower that had a bench hooked to the wall.

"Wow!" I said. "If I wasn't so tired, I would test the tub."

He had a huge grin on his face.

"I told Mike to make sure he hired the best contractors that know about making things handicap accessible. You should thank him, he was the brains behind all of this. I only gave my input."

I yawned.

"Tomorrow I will. Can I sleep yet?"

"Want me to get you your bag?"

I shook my head no.

"I'll change tomorrow. Bring down my crutches and set them on the right side of my bed, please. Just in case I need to get up while you have my chair."

He was still working on the camera. So I went back into my room and got my chair in a spot so that I could comfortably transfer onto my bed. Just as I was about to get into bed, I heard the doorbell ring.

"I'll get it, ok?"

I raced to the door.

"I've got a package for Ashley Davies."

I punched in my I-Pad what I wanted to say.

"**_I'm Ashley, and just sit the box on the side of the stairs."_**

I pointed to where I wanted it. While I signed my name, the delivery guy was trying to avoid looking at my chair. I pulled out a ten dollar bill.

"No need to pay me Ma'am."

"_**I know sir, but you are one of the rare ones. Take this for being nice."**_

He hesitated to take the money.

"Have a nice night."

I smiled and closed the door. I put my I-Pad back in its place. I went back to the same place I was before the UPS delivery.

"Ok, there's a box next to the stairs that needs to be carried upstairs into my room."

"Sure sis."

I finally got into my bed. Before I laid down, I took off my Air Jordans and plugged in my cell.

"Ok! All set! Your bathroom is camera free. So now I'll work on your chair. Do you want me put it back where you have it?"

"Thanks, as long as I have my crutches, you can put my wheelchair anywhere in my room."

He got in my chair.

"Ok, goodnight sis. I won't forget to put your crutches by your bed."

As soon as my head hit the pillow, I passed out.


	4. Going

Blue Angel's POV. Seven hours earlier.

Looking into the bathroom's mirror, I see a bruise forming on my forehead. Damn jackass of brother got into a fight at I-Hop. He has a short fuse when it comes to igronant people making remarks about his eight year old daughter who happens to be deaf. So my lovely brother poured his orange juice on the waiter's head then all hell broke loose. I tried to stop my brother but he pushed me away and I fell, hitting my forehead on the frigging back of the chair where a frightened Kyla was sittiing. So here I am in my brother's house, cursing at myself for suggesting to eat at I-Hop.  
>A green light started flickering which means someone is in need of the bathroom. I plastered a fake smile on my face before opening the door to be met by the light brown eyed girl.<p>

I signed. "Hey llittle angel. The bathroom is all yours."

Her eyes were focusing on the bruise and tears start falling from her eyes. I fell to my knees and got her lookinng at me.

"Kyla Ashley Carlin. what happened is not your fault. I am sorry that you had to see your daddy getting his butt kicked."

I swear he needs to have self control over his anger. Kyla doesn't need to feel like even more of a 'freak' then she already feels. I heard the front door slamming, which meant my brother had gotten back from the hospital. So I looked at Kyla.

"Go write a story in your room and when you're done I'll treat you an Oreo Mcflurry."

She knew why I wanted her go to her room.

"Tell daddy that I can defend myself from now on."

She walked away, leaving me dumbfounded. My knees pulled me out of the trance. I gotten up and walked straight to the kitchen. I see Glen nursing a can of beer. His face looked like he had been in a boxing match. He met my ocean blue eyes with his grayish blue eyes.

"Save it ok. I am not in the mood for your lecture."

I glared at him. "Grow the fuck up then. Your daughter was in fucking tears. She thinks it is her fault."

He took a huge gulp of beer.

"Kyla is my little girl sis. You expect me sit there and do nothing? It's my job to protect her. Hell if her fucking mother was here-"

I turned to see what stopped him. A crying Kyla was standing there.

"If my mom was here. She would have killed herself just like grandpa. She is getting help. Oh by the way, I read lips now. Don't you dare blame whatever it is on mom. It's your job to teach me to deal with the cruel world and show me that's there are decent people out there. Look aunt Spence is different too. I don't see her exploding at ignorant remarks. Why can't you ignore it and show me how to deal?"

Wow, since when my niece gotten to smart for her own good? This is what I know about Kyla's mother. That Glen met her while she was pregnant with Kyla. Don't really know what the story behind that, but my brother wanted to help her out. Within two months, Brooklynn had ask Glen if he wants to be a father to her unborn baby, he jumped at the chance even though mom didn't approve. Dad helped Brooklynn to find a doctor and let her stay in the basement apartment. Mom was beyond pissed most of all Carlin had accepted the 'stranger' without any background checks. Glen was the reason that got to me. He is immature about most things but when it came to Brooklynn and her unborn baby. He was sincre and stood up to mom.

Mom just didn't believe that Brooklynn was being honest about her past. I can say I don't blame mom because the only piece of information Brooklynn shared was that her dad killed himself when she was sixteen. Brookyen changed when Kyla turned six. She started to go out. Glen and her never got together. One day, Kyla who was seven, found a needle with heroin and showed it to Glen. He called me for help to get Kyla out of house while he dealt with Brooklynn. It ended up with Brooklynn going to rehab which was for the best.

"I am sorry baby girl. I just lost it at I-Hop. You're right I should show you a good way instead snapping."

I smiled, watching Glen and Kyla having their chat. My phone vibrated.

Spencer, I need you to come here. -Mom  
>Where? Why? When? -Spencer<br>At the office. Because I have something to run by you. Sometime today please. -Mom  
>Hm ok. I'll be there soon. Love you. -Spencer<br>Great! Love you too. -Mom

I looked at the two people that I love. Both were staring at me.

I signed. "That was grandmom. I got to go meet her and see what she wants. Kyla I'll go to Mcdonalds and get you your treat on the way back. Is that ok?"

Glen clears his throat.

"Dad, you were a bad boy so no you get none."

I cracked up so bad that I had to sit down. Glen tried to act sad but couldn't hold in his laughter.

"My niece is too awesome."

Kyla gave me a hug that Brookyen taught her.. Its more like a hugshake. First, a pinkie hug, then a thumb hug then a bear hug. I know it's a bit weird but Kyla loves it. Glen hugged me and whispered "good luck".

Besides Glen and Kyla, I come here so much because Glen lives near the ocean. It's so beautiful. I waved at Kyla before walking out. As I walked to my car, I saw a hummer pulling up to a loft. It had a cool design. I saw a lift and a girl in a pretty cool power wheelchair speed to the beach. Wait a second, nobody else in the hummer. I see a guy walking out of the loft. Same hair color, maybe she is visiting him. When he made his appearance known, the girl turned around. Wow she is beautiful. I can tell she is happy seeing the guy by that smile. I tried to walk away but this girl I feel like o nevermind. She is just a girl. She saw me staring at her. I ran.

Shit why did I run? She probably think I am a freak. Oh well I won't be seeing her again. I pulled out my keys to Spence-A-Tor. It's a 64 baby blue Mustang with a fainted brown angel on the hood. I love angels. I jumped into my baby and drove to my lovely mother's work.

After forty-five minutes, I pulled up to P.C Therapy Center. I'm not looking forward to seeing what the most famous physcial therapist wants. I'm Paula Carlin's only daughter. Just say our relationship is not as strong as it used to be before I came out to be with her four years ago. Yes I'm a twenty year old lesiban who happens to follow in her mother's footsteps.

"Hey Prick, where's my mother?"

Yes I'm a bitch to Patrick because mom cheated on my dad with him.

"She's in the open gym area dyke."

See it''s neutral.

"Well atleast I get the ladies without needing the blue pills. Thank you for your help."

I walked to the open gym. I see mom stretching Sophie's legs.

"Hey Sophie and mom, how are you guys doing on this fine day?"

Sophie was in a bad accident which parayzed her from waist down.

"Well besides your mom killing me with the monkey bars, my day is good. What happened to your forehead?"

Mom looked up and saw the bruise.

"Let me guess, Glen snapped again and you were with them. Am I right?"

Damn mom.

"Yep. You're good. So why am I here besides seeing Sophie?"

Mom took a minute. "Go to my office, there's a file on my desk. I'll be there in ten minutes to talk to you."

Sounds interesting.

"Ok mom. Sophie I'll see you on Sunday. Are you hyped up about going to U.C.L.A?"

She given me a huge smile, "Yes I am definitely going prove my parents wrong. I'll become a famous journalist in the world."

I smiled and waved. Mom pullled her keys out her pocket and handed them to me. I walked to my mom's office. I unlocked the door and walked straight to the desk to see a black file. I thought it's against policy for me look through a client's file so I'll wait for mom. I don't want to snoop. So I decided to text Madison my best friend.

Hey girl, are we going out tomorrow? -Spencer

Hey Speedy, you already know the answer to that, I think Aiden invited a few new people. So dress hot. -Mads

Don't I always? Gotta run. Mom's here. -Spencer

"Guessing that you didn't look."

She sat in her desk chair. I decided to stay standing.

"No I figured it'd be best if you just tell me why am I here."

She opened the file and looked straight in my eyes.

"Are you up to getting some hands on experience?" What? I might be hearing things. "Look, this new client is really special from what a physical therapist Sara James from Pennsylvania told me. I've got enough clients right now, but I have a feeling she is in need of a friend more than a physical therapist. Ashley is driving all of the way from P.A for her little brother who is going to U.C.L.A. She is seventeen an Kayden is sixteen."

Ok? "What about their parents? Why does she need P.T? Why me? You never let me touch a client because you said I'm not ready yet."

Mom softened her look. "Their father is dead. Their mother left them with her not so nice parents. It's not my story to tell. Ashley has severe C.P. She practically raised Kayden herself. Why you? Because Ashley needs some one that will stick with her. You have a big heart and you are going to be better than me because you are into helping people rather than seeing dollar signs. I have already checked with your mentor to see if you are ready before even asking you."

My jaw dropped. "OK, you do know that I only have two years of college under my belt? What if I hurt Ashley? Are you going to be liable too? Mom I don't understand."

"Stop giving me reasons why you are not ready. I am confident that you can do this. She does P.T four times a week. I need you to do three of the four times. I am going do the one time, just because I do more intense sessions. I am giving you this opportunity to give you a chance to come out of my shadow. Are you ready?" If I would have said no, I'd be an idiot.

"As long as I get gas money plus ask her if her schedule is flexible."

Mom smiled. "I was going to hire you as her personal physical therapist but gas money is much cheaper."

"Hold up, give me the paperwork. So I can quit McDonald's."

Looks like I'll be working with my mother.

**A/N:I just want to give some love to Noodles for the suggestions to how to bring in Spencer. It had help me narrow my ideas down enough to write this chapter. to Elly, I hopoe this is much easier to read. Spence-A-Tor belongs to a real good fan writer Ms. Rocker. Thank you for the reviews. Guys, should I make the signing in a different look, like the I-pad? O thanks Kc for proofreading**


	5. To

**A/N:HEY GUYS, so extremely sorry. My lovely mom spiled pepsi onto keyboard. i got 2 chapters for ya'll so hopefully you don't kill me yet. Spencer is diffferent in Kyla's eyes because that is how she was explained about S[encer being gay. Kyla will play a huge part in the story in later chapters. ty for reviewing**

Ok my brother was not a happy camper when I broke the news about the 5:30 meeting tonight. It was the only time that Paula could meet me with such short notice. The thing with cerebral palsy, that it can cause tightness very quickly. Which is not fun. Just say I had a few surgeries due to being stiff as a board in the legs department. So when Paula suggested meeting her tonight, I had to accept. I jumped at the chance. I know I was getting tight due to the trip from Pennsylvania to California without any form of physical therapy.

Kayden made me promise him that if I get too wrapped up in the meeting; I'd get dress in some restroom. He is bit of a time freak.

Kayden and I went Boscovs to look for a sofa set. Luckily we got the same taste on this kind of stuff or we would be at it forever. We both agree it needed to be a sofa bed. So by a miracle, we had found a black leather sofa set that we both fell in love with. So while Kayden was purchasing the set, I went into Hot Topic to look for a cute shirt.

A few caught my attention but I found a black sleeveless shirt with an angel with horns. The thing that is interesting is that it has the phrase 'Innocent to a point'. A girl was staring at me; I tried ignoring it until she said something ignorant.

"This shirt is so not for retards like you." Ok that stung a bit.

I pulled out my I-Pad. **_"You got some nerve. Looking like a charity case but trying to make me feel like I am less of a person than you. Here's two hundred bucks go and buy yourself some decent clothes. I'm feeling very charitable today."_**

I smirked when she tried punching me, I just block it and a salesgirl stepped in. She warned the charity case to leave or cops would be called. Needless to say she left. I don't know why I said that.

"You're very brave to stand up to Carmen. Be careful she is not someone to mess with." The girl looked sincere.

_**"Don't worry I had dealt with far worse than the charity case. I'm Ashley."**_

She smiled and shook my hand. "I'm Madison. I realize that you have been staring at that cute shirt for quite awhile. I don't think it's you."

I should have been offended, but for some reason I was not. **_"My brother is making me to go out tonight but my clothes aren't unpacked yet and I am supposed to buy something to wear."_**

She was looking me odd for few minutes then grabbed a pair of bracelets, a chained belt, a skull necklace and a shirt that is similar to the one I was staring at, but it has short sleeves and the words were on flames.

"Here is what you should buy. I am about to go on my lunch break so if you want I can go with you to find the perfect pair of jeans."

My mouth dropped open. Madison is actually being friendly without pity. I think I have made my first friend in L.A. Yay me. I nodded and motioned her to ring the stuff up. She even used her employee discount.

Kay, I'll meet you at food court in a hour ok? -Ashley

Sure. You better be buying something good for tonight. -Kay

"It will be Thirty six dollars and seventy cents." I just gave her a fifty dollar bill and refused to take the change. "You weren't kidding when you said you were feeling charitable today." I chuckled, Madison smiled and handed me the bag.

_**"I usually tip the nice ones which believe me it's rare. Just look at it as a thank you for treating me with respect."**_

A handsome guy came in. "I know I'm late but Carmen was beating my new friend up, and cops came."

Madison looked concerned. "It's ok Aiden. She got schooled by Ashley here. Aiden is my boyfriend."

I was looking at him. _**"Who got beat up?"**_

I had a bad feeling, I was not going to like what I about to hear. His green eyes saw something.

"Kayden, come in."

I turned and saw blood on my little brother. Madison noticed I had my fists clenched.

"Sis, calm down. I am ok."

I wheeled to him and looked closer.

"Dude! Your sister is hot." I heard a smack. I smiled at my brother.

"AIDEN I'M STANDING NEXT YOU. HAVE SOME RESPECT FOR YOUR GIRLFRIEND!" I looked at Madison, hoping she didn't think I am after her boyfriend.

"Chica, you ready to go? My break starts now." Kayden looked shocked.

_**"Sure."**_

Madison and Aiden seemed to having a silent fight. So Kayden decided to try to take a peek into my bag, I shook my head no. He backed up a bit.

_**"Sorry about pissing that Carmen chick off. She had a go with me and I guess she didn't get the reaction from me that she was aiming for."**_

Madison just laughed. "Ashley is the first to stand up to Carmen. It was interesting to watch."

Aiden's eyes were focused on me in a creepy way. It was making me uncomfortable. I knew Kayden could tell that Aiden was making me uneasy.

"Dude stop staring at my sister like that. Girls you should go and do whatever it is that you guys are planning to do, while Aiden and I have a nice chat. Madison, my sister is definitely brave."

I mouthed Thanks to my brother.

"Ok, chica let's go. I got an hour."

I followed the Latina to Forever 21. She went directly to one area I personally hate. Dresses and skirts are actually not for me. Madison had a different idea.

"No way in hell." That was me.

"Come on, just try it. It won't hurt to try it on."

I grabbed my crutches and got up from my wheelchair. Madison was starting to help me but I just looked at my wheelchair, hoping she got the hint.

"You better bring your ass out so I can see how it looks."

I gave her a weak smile and went into the changing room. It took me few minutes to change and here I am in a denim mini skirt. This was a first for me and to be honest I was loving it. I walked out smiling. Madison was texting and I cleared my throat. She looked at me.

"Damn girl, I knew you would look good but not this good. You're totally buying that." My face fell. "We'll buy a pair of shorts too. You got killer legs, you need to ditch the sweats look." Ok, I'm regretting this but just smiled. I went and changed.

_**"You do know I'll be wearing sneakers right?"**_

She looked horrified. "What?" She was biting her tongue.

_**"Sneakers are safe when I use my crutches. I got the perfect pair to go with the outfit."**_

I could tell she still didn't see it but she just nodded. I decided after I paid for the skirt, that I would treat Madison to a quick lunch to thank her for helping me.

I found out that her best friend is dating charity case. Poor guy. I wonder how does Spencer deal with his girl. She and Aiden have been together three years.

"Hold up, are you kidding me? You never been kissed or had a boyfriend or anything?" I looked down onto my lap. "I'm sorry Ashley. I can't imagine what it is like to be in your situation but I hope you know that you're beautiful and one these days, the person that you are destined to be with would pop up into your life. Anyways, put your number in my cell so we can hang out."

I looked at her, trying to figure out if she is a friend or someone who is being overly nice. I just gave my cell to her because I haven't got my new L.A number memorized yet.

_**"Thanks for the load of confidence. If Carmen can find someone to handle her shit, there's someone for me. You should go, your break is almost up. Thanks for the help."**_

She shook my hand. "You're welcome. Text me anytime. Adios chica." I waved bye.

I went outside to see if Kayden was there. Usually he goes outside when we split up at the mall.

"So you ready to go home kid?"

He just nodded, smiling like a fool. "You made a friend."

I just rolled my eyes and spotted a cool 64 blue mustang with an angel. I know cars and this car looked sweet.

"Looks like I am going to have to get you checked out because you are smiling like the Joker. A chick has beaten her stupidity into you."

"O shut up!"

I pointed at the mustang. "I have got to meet whoever owns that car. It looks familiar."

He just laughed and hopped in Angelheart. I handed him my crutches since I have someone in Angelheart, it makes it easier to just accept the help.

"Hmmm you probably did at our neighbor's."

Um we have neighbors? "Ok."

He was eerily quiet. I started my baby up. "Ashley, what happened, in Hot Topic?"

I looked at him. "I honestly don't know. I never felt the need to stand up to ignorant people. This girl said what the drunk lady always told me and I couldn't just sit there."

Kayden plugged in his I-Pod and Enimem was what we listen to when we are together. My favorite song is Lose yourself. It is actually the one song I'd rap to in front of others.

Kayden pointed to the green loft when we passed it. "I think we both should go introduce ourselves sometime."

I didn't know how to respond. "Today has been too much on me. I haven't even been in LA for 24 hours yet, I got roped into stuff. So please before we do the neighborly thing, give me atleast 48 hours."

Yes, I was begging. Hell I have to wear a Damn mini skirt. It is going to be a long night.

"Sure."

I was thanking the higher powers that we were home. I went directly in my bedroom and locked my door. I didn't want my brother seeing my freak out attack. I just realized that I would be wearing a freaking skirt. Not any skirt, a MINI SKIRT. GRRR I'm screwed. I glanced at the time.

I've got an hour until I have to leave to go to the P.C Therapy Center. I searched for a box labeled shoes. I spotted it under a hoodie box. I got down onto floor and crawled towards the area. I knocked the hoodie box off so I can get into my shoes. I dumped it out. I found my black Air Jordans. I crawled towards my black book bag and put my shoes in it. I threw my bag onto my bed before I got back into my chair. I threw everything in the bag plus I grabbed my leather jacket. I saw I only had 15 minutes left. I placed my book bag on my lap. I headed to the kitchen and made myself instant breakfast. That stuff is good for times like these when I forgotten about my stomach all day. Kayden walked in.

"Don't have time to eat food. So if I'm not here by 8, text me the address and I will meet you there." I quickly drank the instant breakfast and washed the cup.

"We are supposed to meet at 9. You better show up."

I knew he was keeping something from me, but I didn't have time to question it. "Text me the address then. I'll be there, I promise. Bye."

Kayden followed me. "You sure that you don't need me to go?"

"So you can keep the time? No thanks. I will be fine." I threw my bag in the passenger's seat.

I plugged in my I-Pad so it gets some charge at least. Kayden held out his pinkie, we did the Davies hug. Our dad taught us it. He said his great grandfather created it for his daughter to keep a piece of him with her when he was away. That was how the Davies hug is created.

"Good luck sis."

I loaded up the GPS on my phone and started the drive. I can't help but to feel really nervous. I wish Sara and Haley were here. After 48 minutes of driving, I had reached my destination.

I debated whether or not to put my bag on back of my chair. Do I really want Paula to see me dress in that outfit? Probably not but I have no choice. I took a deep breath and unplugged my I-Pad. I pressed the necessary buttons to unlock my wheelchair and to get the lift ready. Once I was sure, I got everything I could get from the front. I got out of Angelheart and proceeded to get my crutches from the back. I knew I was early so I wasn't rushing myself. O shit! The mustang pulled up next to Angelheart. I am thinking I have gotten a stalker. I locked [Brenda3] up Angelheart and put my chair on the highest speed. I dashed to the doors of P.C Therapy Center.

They automatically opened. It can't be a coincidence that I have seen the same mustang 3 different places within the last 24 hours.

_**"Hi, my name is Ashley Davies. I'm here to see Paula Carlin."**_

The old guy was checking me out. GROSS! I heard the doors opened.

"Stop drooling prick. Tell mom I took Ashley to the personal gym."

I tried to hold in my laughter but the old guy's face was so fucking funny.

"Not in front of clients little girl."

"Technically she's not a client yet! Plus I highly doubt she'd like you drooling. Follow me Ashley."

I still didn't see her face but I did follow the blonde.

I wasn't too sure if I should be following this smarty stranger. She may try murdering me. She suddenly stopped and I tried stopping before hitting her but no such luck. My foot pedals hit the back of her knees which cause her falling into my lap. Somehow her elbow landed into my gut, knocking the wind out of me.

"SHIT!"

She jumped off me. I doubled over trying to not scream out.

"O god I'm sorry. Are you ok?" I could hear the worry in her voice.

I took steady breaths before sitting up. I looked up to see the most amazing blue eyes. Oh no, did I get knocked out? I must be dreaming. Blue Angel is standing in front of me.

"Ashley, are you ok?" I blinked few times, trying to figure out if I was dreaming.

_**"Care to tell me why did you stop like that Blue Eyes?"**_

I was lucky that I can read what I'm going to say or I would have slipped by calling her Blue Angel.

"HM I forgot to introduce myself and I'm totally spaced out and I should shut up now."

I laughed. _**"So, what is your name then Blue Eyes?"**_

She turned red as an apple. I had to avert my focus on anything but Spencer or I would get lost in those blue eyes.

"My name is Spencer Carlin. Come on potty mouth." Wait she understood me? She must of saw the shock on my face. "Yes I understood you. It was very clear to not understand. Come on before Paula gets impatient."

I couldn't help but to smile. I stayed a safe distance behind the blonde. We reached the personal gym. My jaw dropped. Sara would flip. This gym was twice the size of the one in Pennsylvania.

_**"Ok, I have got to ask you something. Were you at the beach yesterday? I think I saw you but as soon as I looked again you had disappeared."**_

Before she could answer, an older version of Spencer came rushing in. "Sorry that I was late."

She was hugging me which was not great idea. I pushed her away.

_**"Sorry I'm not keen on being touched without me knowing. I'm sure Sara had told you."**_

Paula seemed to understand but Spencer looks confused.

_**"Just been though alot in my past. So Paula I'm new to this, mind explaining how this works? If you can take me on."**_

I pulled out my papers that Sara gave me.

"Ok, I usually evaluate the clients before taking them on but this time will be a little different. I know this is going to be tough on you. Sara has done an excellent job with you past ten years. I'm not going to tell you that there's any better than Sara but I'm telling you that if you give us your all, I'll guarantee you won't regret it."

I gave Paula the huge file.

_**"Us?"**_ I felt out of my element.

"Yes, I have hired my daughter to be your personal physical therapist." I rubbed my neck before typing.

_**"Are you certified?"**_

I looked directly in Spencer's blue eyes. "No not yet."

I was at a loss for words. _**"Ok, I'm sorry in advance but Paula why are you putting your uncertified daughter with me? What if she or I get hurt? I can't have that on my shoulders."**_

I sent an apologetic look towards the younger blonde.

"Ashley, I can assure you that Spencer would be the best for you. Yes she still in college."

_**"Ok, prove it. I have got to see what you can do for me before I can put myself in your hands. No coaching Paula."**_

The older blonde gave the younger blonde a nod.

"Ok Ashley, would you mind transferring onto the mat?"

She sounded not very confident of herself but I suspect it was just nerves. I put my I-Pad away and lowered my wheelchair closer to the level of the mat. Spencer was looking like she wanted to help me. I swung my foot pedals out and took off my seatbelt. I pivoted myself onto the mat.

"Not a bad way to transfer Ashley. Ok I'm going to see how your legs are. Is that ok?"

I nodded while she pushed herself on those stools that the doctors use, in front of me. Paula stayed looked in my eyes while she pushed up my right pant leg. I tensed up.

"Relax, I won't hurt you. If I do, just tell me."

This girl seemed to read my mind but hurting me wasn't the reason that I tensed up. She placed her left hand behind my right knee and used her right hand under my ankle. She slowly straightened my leg until it was about three quarters of the way straight. The violent spasms started, I gritted my teeth. Spencer stopped and I just leaned back.

"Ashley, are you ok?" Paula was looking at how violently my leg shook. I looked at Paula and nodded.

"Maybe this is a bad idea." Spencer started getting up.

Something in me snapped. I quickly sat up, pulled my I-Pad out and typed.

_**"Do you even believe in yourself? I mean I had a spasm which is in no way your fault. You want to run."**_

Paula left without saying a word.

"Look, like you pointed out, I do not have any certification. Why even bother?"

I looked at her for a minute. _**"Why are you even here if you gave up because I'm looking after myself? You think it is easy for me to look for a new therapist then finding out that the therapist is still a college student. I honestly was going to make this as simple as possible. I don't care if you aren't certified or about your little thing between your mother and you. All I care about getting a therapist that I can trust and depend on."**_

Spencer looked speechless. "I'm sorry. I just freaked out. Do you want me?"

All a sudden, I became shy for some reason. _**"Depends."**_ I wasn't sure what I was saying.

"On?" She was looking as nervous as I'm feeling now.

_**"If you believe that you're the best person for this. Then yes, but we have got to have a flexible schedule plus no therapy on December 31th and March 5th."**_

She half smiled. "Transfer to your chair. We have got to find mom and tell her. And sorry about yesterday, I was in a rush to see mom."

I smiled, I didn't believe her though. I put my I-Pad in its place. I lifted my arm rest; I was transferring on my weak side so I took a bit longer. After I get myself settled, Spencer was looking at me strangely.

"So my girlfriend's a charity case?" Oh shit, no it can't be.

_**"What?"**_ Act dumb Ashley. Maybe she'll drop it.

"Wait a minute; did my lovely best friend forget to mention that I'm a girl? Hope you don't mind that I'm gay."

_**"Madison is your best friend? I get judged myself for being disabled. Why should I mind that you're gay? I don't believe in labels because people can't choose who they love. I hope in your case, that Carmen loves you."**_

I have to get out of here before she asks more questions. I see Paula walking towards me.

"You guys figure what you want to do?" I nodded.

**_"As I've told my soon to be P.P.T, I need a flexible schedule so I'm thinking weekly schedules. Plus no therapy December 31th and March 5th."_**

Paula looked at me with remorse in her eyes.

"Fine by me but you got to come to the Carlin new year's eve party."

I looked at her sadly. _**"I will think about it."**_

Paula nodded. I felt like crying.

_**"Can I use the restroom?"**_

Paula pointed out where I need to go.

As soon as I got in a stall, tears ran down my face. I hate that I still cry whenever I think about those two dates. I saw it was 7:30. Damn, I got my bag, pulled out everything out. First I changed my shirt, and then pulled down my sweats before taking my shoes off. After I finished taking off my sweats, I had to put my black Jordan's on then the mini skirt. I put my old clothes back in the bag. I decided to do rest outside of the stall. I got everything on, but the damn chain belt.

I was leaning on the very sturdy sink and trying to put this fucking belt on. Spencer walked in without a word; she walked up behind me and helped me with it. Her eyes didn't leave the mirror. Our eyes locked.

"Are you ok? Mom had asked me to check on you." I gave her a smile and nodded. "Why don't I believe you? I get it." She backed away.

I sat back down. _**"I hardly know you Spencer. Don't tell me that you get that my dear old dad killed himself on new year's eve or how my fucking mother chose my older sister and abandoned my brother and me to the world's worst grandparents 3 months later. Don't you ever say you get it because I sure as hell don't get it!"**_

I left Spencer and signed the papers Paula had for me to fill out. Kayden texted me the address. I sat in Angelheart for a few minutes, thinking about why I went off on Spencer. More importantly why did I share that information with her?

I realized she had followed me outside and was staring at me like she wanted to apologize. I rolled down my window and motioned her to come over. This has been an insane 24 hours. As soon she came over, I handed my I-Pad to her for her to read. It was a long ass apology. She unexpectedly took my I-Pad to the mustang. Oh great I've got a thief as a P.T. She hooked it up to hers. I looked at her strangely. She unhooked our I-Pads.

"I was going to make you to follow me but didn't want get fired before I start. You do know you didn't need to apologize right? If anybody need to apologize, it should be me. I'm sorry that I just said I get it making you jump to the conclusion of thinking that I was talking about your past. I meant I get why you wouldn't open up to a stranger that you just met. I barely got information on you from my boss. Considering what you had told me, if you ever need a verbal punching bag, you can use me. My information is on your I.-Pad."

Wow I didn't know what to say to Blue Angel. I do know she exists or I was having a pretty good dream. She handed me I-Pad. I looked down and smiled.

_**"Thanks blue eyes. I may take you up on your offer. Just hope you got a good texting plan."**_

She laughed. "Just say when you have a friend like Madison, a good texting plan is needed."

My cell began to ring. It was Sara's ringtone. I answered.

"Hey Sara."

"Hey sweetie, how did the meeting go?"

I was staring at Spencer, trying to figure out why she was still here.

"It went ok. It's weird that I don't have you here. Paula has hired her daughter to be my P.T."

"Oh really? That sounds interesting. Is she any good?"

"From what I saw, I think Spencer is alright compared to you."

I am pretty sure that Spencer knew what the conversation was about by that smile.

"Well I will let you to go, I'm tired. I hope you're enjoying L.A."

I looked at the time. "Goodnight mom, I love you."

"Goodnight sweetie, I love you too."

Sara hung up. I looked at Spencer.

_**"I guess I will see you around. I gotta go before my brother murders me for being late."**_

Spencer was staring at me weirdly. _**"No no no, I'm not on a date with my brother. That's just gross. He kind of tricked me to go to some place named Ego tonight."**_


	6. Find

O boy, what was I thinking? I'm going to kill my little brother. I got to Ego before Kayden and I instantly knew what he was keeping from me. Ego is a club. I hate extremely large crowds. What was he thinking?

Hey girl, are you at Ego yet? -Madison

Hey, yea I'm here sitting in Angelheart. -Ashley

Angelheart? -Madison

My hummer lol. Sorry I forgot you haven't met my baby yet. Are you joining Kayden and me? -Ashley

Girl, you and my friend would definitely get along. I am actually heading your way so get your ass out of Angelheart or else. -Madison

I looked up to see an amused Madison heading my way. I let out a long sigh. I was debating about leaving my wheelchair behind so I won't get noticed. By the time, Madison got there. I had made my decision. I found the bag I use when I walk and put my I-Pad, cell and wallet in the bag. Madison looked confused and I don't blame her. I handed it to her. I got into my passengers seat and opened the door, pulled my crutches out from the back. I could tell that Madison was staring in amazement. I almost forgot my keys in the ignition. I took a deep breath before getting out of Angelheart.

"Damn girl, you look hot."

I could tell I was blushing. I pressed the lock button on my key remote. I heard my cell going off. "Should I answer?" I nodded. I began making my way towards the end of the line.

"Hello? My name is Madison. She is walking. Who is this?" I looked at her. She covered the mouthpiece. "Do you want Haley to know where we are at?" I stopped and give her the ok. This wasn't going to be good.

Madison uncovered the mouthpiece. "We are at Ego. It's a club. Whoa chica, her brother is the reason that your best friend is here. Look you're crazy. EXCUSE ME YOU DIDN'T JUST SAY THAT."

I spotted Kayden and his jaw dropped. He walked towards us. I gave him the look.

"Maddy, give me the cell."

She was grateful that Kayden took the cell.

"Ashley, follow me. I know the bouncer so we can get in faster. I don't want your legs getting tired already. Oh that Haley chick needs help." I laughed and followed her.

One thing I got to give Madison credit for, was her patience. She could of walk faster than my pace but she did the opposite. She fell into pace with me, talking my ear off. Once we were inside, my legs started to spasm. Madison spotted an empty booth. She pointed to it then ran over to save it. I was praying that nobody would bump me. I walked towards the booth. I quickly sat before the spasms could get worse. I grabbed my I-Pad out of the bag.

_**"Thanks Madison."**_

She smiled. "No need to thank me. We are friends."

I wondered if she will share some information on Spencer with me.

_**"Madison, why did you not say Spencer is a girl?"**_

Why is she looking amused?

"You didn't ask. Hold up you met Spencer?"

I tried not to smile but kinda failed. _**"Yes, she is going to be my P.T. To my shock, she asked me "so, my girlfriend is a charity case". I wonder who told her. I doubt that Carmen would have told Spencer that someone who is disabled stood up to her."**_

Madison looked shocked.

"How? I mean she still a college student and her mom is a bitch to her. And about whole Carmen ordeal, hell yea I told my best friend. It's not an everyday thing that the charity case got a taste of her own medicine. The fact, that a disabled person did it is incredible. You even blocked a punch."

"WHAT?"

That voice is familiar. I so wanted to disappear right now.

"Spence, nothing."

Madison looked at my face and I think she knew I want to run.

"Bull shit, so Carmen tried punching you?"

That was when my little brother showed up. "What? That bitch tried hitting you!"

This is getting too much. I ignored everyone and got up and pressed speak. _** "Leave it the fuck alone. I need some air."**_

Kayden's face softened. I think the girls were afraid to say anything.

"Sis, don't go. I'm sorry. I should of known."

I hate this.

"Look I'm not leaving, I just need some air. Blue Angel is real."

With that Kayden's eyes landed on Spencer.

"O crap. Sorry I've forgotten to introduce myself. My name is Kayden Davies and you are?"

I decided to go.

**SPENCER'S POV**

As I watched Ashley walk away, her brother was waiting for an answer.

"I'm Spencer Carlin and sorry about Carmen."

He was looking at me strange.

"Your mom is Paula? And don't apologize for an idiot's stupidity."

Geez, another one who is not Paula fan.

"Yes she's my mom and that idiot is my girlfriend."

His face was priceless.

"Then I'm not the one that needs to be apologized to. What she said to Ashley got to her. Carmen was lucky that my sister didn't snap."

He looked pissed off. I definitely needed to know what she said.

"Ok, what did Carmen say?"

"Don't worry about it."

Madison spoke up. "Kayden, I was there and heard everything. It was like Ashley was reliving something. Please atleast answer one thing then we'll drop it."

Kayden gave us a defeated look. Madison gave me go ahead nod. I took a deep breath.

"How bad were your grandparents on you guys?"

I immediately regretted the question by the sadness in Kayden's eyes.

"There isn't a word to describe how they were to Ashley. She protected me but nobody was there to protect her. Madison, you were right. Carmen said something that they had pounded into her head all those years. Now are you happy?" Kayden got up. "You girls only see what Ashley thinks that you would like but my sister is smart and beautiful when she's herself. Hell she's in a fucking mini skirt because of Madison. That is not who Ashley is but she tend to go out of her way to get acceptance. I never in my life have seen my big sister this uncomfortable that she felt the need to leave her wheelchair in her hummer."

"Ok, Kayden first of all, your sister was smiling when she tried on that skirt. It was like she became more sure of herself. Second of all, we are not happy that you guys had a shitty past. Hell, I think that what makes Ashley more amazing. Third of all, I seem to remember you went out of your way to get Aiden to like you in the beginning. Ashley needs to feel comfortable to be herself like you did. Fourth of all, why in hell did you think she would be comfortable to come to a place like this on her first night out in LA? Of course Ashley would be uncomfortable. We could of gone to Music Cafe. So don't try blaming us."

Madison was keeping her voice calm. Kayden sat back down.

"You are right. I saw Ashley's face when I first saw her outfit. She looked more confident in herself. I had to test the waters with her at this place. I was hoping people would show her that she would be accepted for who she is. Nobody ever showed any interest in my sister back in PA. Aiden does not count; she doesn't get good vibes from him. No offense but he is a douche."

My jaw dropped. "Wait, Ashley is very beautiful. It's hard to believe nobody tried to hook up with her."

Both Kayden and Madison looked at me with knowing smiles. Oh god, I must be blushing.

I looked into a developing crowd. I had an odd feeling something is going to happen. I recognized Carmen literally yelling at someone. I jumped up and quickly saw who she was yelling at.

"WHERE IS YOUR FUCKING VOICE NOW RETARD? OR WHERE'S YOUR LAME POWER CHAIR? YOU CAN'T BLOCK THIS."

I saw Carmen raise her fist. I rushed to grab her wrist.

"What the hell are you thinking?"

I cannot believe there were people staring but none of them gave two shits to help Ashley. I saw Ashley's eyes. They were full of fear. I literally wanted to hug her.

"Why the fuck are you defending that retard?"

Carmen shrugged me into Ashley. Surprisingly, Ashley didn't lose her balance.

"Ashley is no way mentally challenged. You just broke your promise. I'm done." Then I saw blackness.

**ASHLEY'S POV**

I just saw Carmen punch Blue Angel square in the nose. Spencer fell backwards into me which made me lose my balance. Luckily I know how to not hit my head.

"NOW I BROKE MY PROMISE BITCH."

Kayden finally came and restrained the bitch. I told Kayden to tell Madison to not move the blonde wait for EMTs. I was really concerned about the fact that Spencer hasn't woken up yet. I know her head didn't hit anything hard considering she fell onto me.

I saw two police officers handcuff Carmen. Kayden kneeled down.

"Ashley, I'm glad you changed into your sweats or you would of given everyone a freebie at your stuff."

I glared at him.

"Where in hell are the EMTs? I'm worried Kayden. She was only protecting me and bang out of nowhere the bitch punched her square in the nose. This is my fault."

Kayden wiped my tears away.

"Spencer will be better than she would be if she hit the hard floor. This is not your fault Ashley. Are you hurt?"

Kayden and Madison both looked at me.

"I need to have my back and ribs checked but you are driving me. It's not bad enough for an ambulance ride."

Madison looked clueless so Kayden translated it to her.

"Ok, I'll find Maggie the owner to explain that there will be two vehicles staying here." Madison hopped up.

Finally, the EMTs showed up. They were asking stupid questions like why was she on me. Once they moved Spencer, the pain in my ribs intensified to 8.

"Kayden, I think I need you to carry me. We have to take Angelheart but I cannot drive. Are you comfortable driving my baby again?"

Kayden looked really worried. Frankly I was too. I think I have bruised ribs which I had quite few times but this time the pain is worse. \

"Ok, let's wait for Madison so she can carry your stuff."

I was fighting the tears due the pain in my ribs. After Madison and Maggie got to the spot, Kayden explained what the plan was. When I tried sit myself up, I screamed in pain. Kayden caught my head before I hit the floor. "Hospital now!"

It took all three to carefully place me in the back back of Angelheart. Madison stayed with me in the back while Kayden drove to LA General hospital. By that point, the pain became unbearable I passed out.

**MADISON'S POV**

"Shit Kayden, she passed out. Hurry up!"

Spencer will never forgive herself if Ashley is seriously hurt. Poor Ashley, she hasn't been in LA that long. She gotten mixed up with the crazy Mexican. God I hated Carmen. Still to this day, I have never liked her. Spencer claimed it was because I'm Puerto Rican. Truthfully I never liked the crazy bitch since kindergarten. Something was always off about her.

When my best friend came out to me when we were 15, I wasn't surprised. She was scared that I would freak out. I was happy that she had finally admitted it to herself plus that meant more boys for me. Hell I would not win against her with her blue eyes.

A few days after she told me, she dropped the Carmen bomb on me. I flipped out. Carmen was and is a good manipulator with Spencer. I may sound jealous. Over the years, Spencer's personality became nonexistent. I knew Carmen was both verbally and physically abusive towards Spencer but I can only be there for her when she lets me in. I tried numerous times to get though Spencer but I never succeeded.

I looked down to see the brunette's innocent face. I found it hard to believe that nobody protected her from the fuckers. She is truly amazing.

I shouldn't of made her buy the mini skirt but she looked good. The smile I got from her was like a kid in a toy store.

I couldn't help but to notice that when Ashley brought up Spencer, the smile on her face was genuine.

"Madison, how is she?"

"She's still passed out. Are we almost there?"

I could tell Kayden is really worried about his sister. That was when an idea came to me.

I dialed a number.

"Hey sweetheart."

"Hey mom, i really need you to get doctor Carlin to the ER entrance in about two minutes. I have got a girl who possibly has bruised ribs. She's disabled."

"What happened? I saw Spencer come in."

"Mom, I'll explain but get Clay please. Love you bye." \

I hung up and saw the brunette crying. I didn't know what to do except talk to her.

"Ashley, I know you're in bad pain right now but try thinking something that makes you happy. For an example, shopping makes me happy."

I looked out of the window and saw Clay and a few nurses standing there. Kayden stopped and hopped out.

"She's in the back."

Clay was the first to open the door. Ashley looked a bit scared.

"Guys, I need a board. I don't want to add more pain onto the patient. Madison, I need you to go to Spencer and keep her as calm as possible. I left her freaking out over Ashley."

He didn't need to ask twice.

"Ok, take care of Ashley or your sister will kill you."

I walked to Kayden and hugged him.

"This is the worst that Ashley has been if it's just bruised ribs. I'll make Carmen pay."

"Don't worry, doctor Carlin will figure it out. I'm going to see if Spencer is ok and hopefully pressing charges this time."

He looked so lost. Once a nurse came to talk to Kayden, I walked into the ER.

"Excuse me, can you tell me where's Spencer Carlin?"

The old lady gave me a dirty look.

"She is behind number 13 curtain."

"Thanks." Geez I would of thought I was being nice but that lady was rude.

I looked for curtain 13. I heard Paula and Arthur fighting. I walked towards the divorced couple.

"GUYS STOP IT. YOUR DAUGHTER DOES NOT NEED YOUR SHIT TONIGHT. EXCUSE ME, I HAVE TO CALM HER DOWN ABOUT SOMEONE WHO GOT HURT BY A MISTAKE."

I finally got their attention. Arthur looked confused and Paula looked pissed.

"Who else got hurt? Spence didn't mention anyone else."

I debated whether to tell them or not.

"That's probably because she got knocked out then fell into our new friend which made the new friend lose her balance and she got the hard floor and Spencer landed on her. So Clay is checking her out."

I saw Spencer standing there looking like a raccoon.

"How is Ashley?"

Paula's eyes shot up to Spencer.

"Honestly Spencer, she is blaming herself of what happened to you. She may have bruised ribs but Kayden thinks its something worse because apparently she had bruised ribs few times and the pain was never this bad. Clay is with her."

The three Carlins looked solemnly at me.

"Is there anyone with Kayden?"

I am guessing that Paula knew the history. I shook my head no.

"Mom, please go to Kayden. Dad, please call the cops."

We all looked at Spencer like she grew another head. Paula took a breath.

"Spence, what really happened? Who punched you and what did Ashley have to do with this?"

I thought she would of told them by now.

"Ashley was being bullied by Carmen and I was the only one who stepped in while quite a crowd was watching. There were somethings said and unfortunately I got hit for the last time. Mom, please go to check on Kayden."

I can't believe my ears. She practically told her parents. Arthur's eyes looked scary. I decided to walk towards Spencer and pulled her into my arms.

"I'm proud of you girl. You had courage tonight and you are going to keep the courage. I'll call the police station while pops digest the news."

Kayden came and looking relieved.

"You don't have any idea how my sis is going to be so happy that you're awake. She had asked me to make sure that I can see those blue eyes."

Spencer's cheeks turned pink. I wonder.

"How is she?"

"She has a bruised rib, which is okay but your brother wanted to give her a pain killer but Ashley refused. I had to explain something to him. She is debating getting help at home for few weeks but is being stubborn I don't think she would accept it."

"Maybe she would accept mine? I mean Ashley seems like the hard headed type when she is helpless, maybe she would let me."

I must be nuts but Ashley seemed to have a good effect on people around her besides the charity case. I don't want to leave Ashley hanging plus I'm pretty sure Spencer would be hanging around. Maybe I can play cupid.

"It is worth a shot but Aiden needs to stay away from her. She is not going to be able to get away from him herself for awhile."

I saw Spencer tense up. Arthur and Paula must of left to call the police.

"Aiden will not be around. I am still pissed how he was looking like he wanted to jump her."

Kayden gave me one of the Please don't say that again looks.

"Besides I don't think he'll get far considering my sister is waiting for the right person. Girls, I'm going to update Ashley about Blue Eyes. Oh Spencer, I wanted to thank you for defending my sister."

**A/N:So yea there's a lot going on. Even tho this has nothing to do with the show except the names, I have to keep Carmen as the bad guy. And I am not a fan of Aiden. There will be more of Spashley in next two chapters. And Ashley will notice a change in Paula in next chapter**


	7. The

**A/N:Hey guys, I wasn't going to post this today due it's my mommom's ten yr death anniversity. My bro and I are only ones left on my dads side. Mommom was the first to believe in me. She had a nickname for me Angelheart. Btw Raife is sorta based on my dad except my dad used a gun. Well anyway RIP Mommom.**

**About this chapter, towards the end, I got lazy so when the chat b/w Spashley Ashley is signing. I got tired putting Ashley signed. I hope you enjoy. Shit about hit the fan.**

This was totally a fucked up night. With my luck, it would only get worse. The fact that I got a bruised rib on my right side really seriously sucks. I had to tell the doctor Carlin who's happen to be Spencer's adopted brother, that I was involuntary addicted to anything stronger then store bought pain relievers.

I didn't know I was addicted until last year. I wasn't a junkie or anything and I only took what my doctor prescribed over five years for pain from what the drunks did.

Before the court stuff, Kayden and I moved in with Sara and Haley. I stopped the medicines which in my head I wasn't addicted to.

After few days, my body went through withdraws. At first, I thought I had a nasty bug but Sara knew the signs I was showing. She had asked me if I was doing drugs. I was utterly pissed when she accused me. I had shown Sara the medicines that I stopped taking. She immediately called a rehab friend cause she didn't know what to do.

Jennifer had to get me to go to the rehab for cleansing. I was very against going because I didn't have a problem. Jennifer had to walk through the cleansing process three times before I agreed. It was an eye-opener. While I was there, I went to group therapy. After few of them, I had realized I was an addict, which shocked me the most because I wasn't desperate or that's what I thought. They set a bottle of morphine on my bed. When I saw it, the need to take one was overwhelming. My hands were shaking bad. I opened the bottle and looked. At that point, I knew I was screwed. By a miracle, I went out of my room and found the group therapist Tom; I reluctantly gave him the bottle with a pill missing. He suggested for me to talk to his assistant.

Amber definitely made me talk about all the dark stuff even the one incident I didn't tell anyone what really happened. I knew if they knew both my brother and I would be in foster care. I was afraid that I would never see my brother again.

Amber did something that surprised me. She pulled out her personal journal and told me that what I went through has only made me stronger. I wasn't damaged or weak but maybe broken. All I can do is live for the moment and focus on the future.

She opened to a page of her journal and handed it to me. It was dated February fourteenth 2003. I read:

_Today is my fifth failed suicide anniversary. I remembered that day like it just happened. My mom and dad left me with my uncle for a few days. They knew I am scared of him but ignored my feelings. So I tried to stay out of his way but he had different plans. He called his six friends and pimped me out for twelve hours straight. I begged for them to stop numerous times. I wanted to die that night so I cut my throat. One of the rapers found me on the floor and called 911. How ironic. He had confessed to everything. I hated my parents the most. After I came through, a young EMT was sitting beside me. I was crying because I wasn't dead. He kept his distance. His name is Tom and he had change my life forever. He asked his sister if I can stay at her place. Jennifer took me in. I didn't know what she does for a living until six months later. She asked me for help with a patient in rehab. I wasn't sure if I could, but all Jen asked of me was to spend time with Maria. I didn't know the specifics. My first impression of Maria was she was just a kid with a bad attitude problem but the more I spent with her, she opened up as to why she was there. Jen didn't tell me that Maria was molested by both her parents and she overdosed on E. Once I heard her story I knew what Jen needed me to do. I had to convince Maria that she's worth it to be living a great life. I somewhat told her some of my story. And what she told me has always stuck to me. I'm not damaged or weak, maybe broken but can be fixed in time._

I suddenly got what Amber was trying to get through to me. No matter what had happened, I can get through anything in time.

After a few weeks, I felt I don't need anymore help. People found out I was in rehab which put a bulls eye on me. Dealers tried offering some free stuff but I stood my ground. Kayden didn't understand how I got addicted by a doctor. I had to explain how. I was on pretty strong medicines. Sara reported Doctor Fitch to the medical board. It happened that I wasn't the only minor that he had wronged.

I know I'm going to have a long eight weeks. The worst part Kayden starts UCLA on Sunday which sucks in my situation right now. I stared at the ceiling thinking.

I heard footsteps. Paula and a guy with black hair and grayish blue eyes walked in.

"Hi Ashley, this is Spencer's dad Arthur."

He looked slightly concerned. I pointed at my I-Pad on the table and Paula got the hint. She handed it to me.

Arthur is quiet.

**_"Nice to meet you sir."_** I added a smile to break the uneasiness in this room.

"Call me Arthur. Sir makes me feel old." Now I know where Spencer got her smile from.

\Thinking of Spencer. _**"How is Spencer? Did she wake up?"**_

Arthur walked up beside me, placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Spence is okay except she looks like a raccoon. How about you? I heard you were Spence's landing spot."

I half smiled. She has been falling on me and honestly I won't complain but I got hurt.

_**"As long as she's okay. I'm all good to go home. There is nothing they can do that I can't do at home. Ice, bed, keep the lovely wrap on for few weeks and take it easy.**_"

Paula looked somewhat worried. "I know you're going be alone after Kayden leaves for college on Sunday. Are you planning to hire someone to help you out?"

I didn't like the question. _**"I'm sorry but I'm not going to answer that question."**_ I don't think she was asking out of sincerity from her heart.

Kayden walked in with Spencer and Madison. I guessed Arthur noticed I have a smile on my face.

"Dad and mom, what are you guys doing here?"

I got a look of what Carmen did to Spencer. I must of zoned out again.

"Ashley, are you ok? I have been trying to get your attention passed five minutes." Five different pairs of worried eyes were staring at me.

_**"I'm always ok. Sorry I got lost in my thoughts. Are you ok blue eyes?"**_

Crap, I shouldn't call her that in front of everybody. I saw Arthur smiling big but Paula doesn't seem too pleased.

"Well besides the broken nose and raccoon look, I'm as fine as you are. I'm sorry about that."

Kayden whispered something to Madison.

"Paula and pops, why don't we find Clay? I'm sure he'd want to see you guys."

Arthur grabbed Paula's arm. "That's a good idea Maddie. Spence, do you need a ride?"

Spencer looked at Madison and Kayden, Kayden gave a nod.

"No thanks dad, I already have a ride. You guys go to your places. I know we still need to talk and tomorrow I'll explain."

Paula's face fell.

I wasn't quite sure what's going on. I signaled Kayden to come closer.

"I need to get out of here. What's taking them so long to discharge me?"

"Doctor Carlin wants to see if the bruise on your stomach is ok." I gave him a confused look. "The nurse saw there was bruising on your stomach."

I punched the bed. I hate hospitals, I had enough experience to last two lifetimes.

I totally forgot about the bruised rib and regretted my action immediately. "Remind me why I moved here again."

"You moved here to protect your little hot brother from the blonde bimbos."

\The whole room erupted in laughter except me. I was looking at Blue Angel.

Kayden leaned in to whisper. "Your drawings doesn't do Blue Angel justice. She is smoking hot."

I punched him in the arm for making me blush.

**_"Guys, can I talk to Spencer alone?"_**

I need to ask her something and I don't want her to be blaming herself. Kayden and Madison left, Arthur given Spencer a hug. I looked at Paula and remembered what Madison has told me.

_**"Paula, I don't know when I should start P.T. Give me a month before you start billing me."**_

"Don't worry about that right now. Let yourself heal. Spencer, where are you staying tonight? Hope not at the rat's apartment."

"Mom, don't worry. Tomorrow I'm borrowing Maggie's bouncers to assist me to getting my stuff outta there. Guys just go. I just have a broken nose nothing major." How do I know that she was getting annoyed? Maybe because of the look on Spencer's face.

I tried sitting up a little bit but I decided I would wait for dreadful hospital oversize wheelchair. I know I can't drive or I would have my brother to unload my wheelchair from Angelheart. Arthur walked towards me.

"Want me to slide a pillow behind you? I saw you were trying to sit up." I nodded and I slowly pulled myself up enough for Arthur.

Yes it hurts a lot but I can deal. _**"Thanks."**_

He smiled. "You're very welcome Ashley. I hope that we will meet again under different circumstances." He practically pulled Paula out of the room.

I let out a long breath. I could tell the blonde was nervous to come closer.

_**"Blue eyes, come closer. I won't bite."**_

This day was insane. Spencer finally sat in the chair.

"How are you feeling really?" Of course she would ask that.

_**"Honestly, I'm in pain but it's all good. Something been bugging me though."**_

She looks guilty. "I'm really sorry."

I shook my head no. _**"Please stop saying sorry. It's not your fault. I can't say I ever had someone fall on me twice."**_

I laughed a little which got rid the tension.

"Well, you are easy to fall for." Did I hear right? "On on on." Yes I did. She was blushing badly.

_**"Hmm that's good I think."**_

I didn't know what to say. It was a slip up, yes that gotta to be it cause nobody falls for a disabled person like me.

After few minutes of silence, Spencer sighed.

"What's bugging you?"

She is not going to like this but I have to know. _**"How long?"**_

I know she understood the question. "It is none of your business."

She got up. I immediately typed.

_**"I was verbal abused practically since I was five; it had gotten physical when I was seven to sixteen. And it was by my own grandparents. And the fact you acknowledged what I was asking, only proves me right!"**_

Tears were running down my face. Spencer was in tears too.

"I had known Carmen since I was eight. We started dating when I was fifteen. When we were a secret, she was sweet and loving. That lasted for a year and half. I finally got the courage to tell my family that I was gay. Needless to say my mom fell off the sane wagon. I think that's when Carmen begun to change. So practically three and half years. How did you know?"

_**"Well, it wasn't hard to figure out after tonight. I had witnessed it plus Carmen's face when you stepped in, was shocked. I remembered that look on my grandfather's face when I had stopped him from getting to my little brother. He never touched my brother. So I pretty much know who is an abuser after 5 minutes of interaction. I was so hoping I was wrong about Carmen."**_

Spencer was pacing. "Tell me about your big sister."

I shook my head no. She stopped and look into my eyes. "I'm trying to figure out how she left her siblings, knowing that you guys were being verbal abused. I mean she was around when you were five."

Kayden walked in and gave me a sad smile.

"Spencer, Brooke is her name. Ashley does not like talking about that part of her life. I'm sure when she's ready she'll tell you."

**SPENCER'S POV**

Wait Brooke is the name of their big sister. Nah it can't be, can it? Think Spencer think. I'll need to do some digging first before I even say a word about my thoughts. I sure hope I'm wrong about this because a lot of people will end up in more pain. Oh god, Ashley will be crushed. For all I know, Brooke and Brooklynn are two different people.

"Yo Blondie, are you ok? Do you have headache?"

When did he come in?

"What did I tell you about calling me Blondie? I'm ok no headache. Was just thinking big bro."

I see Kayden whispering in Ashley's ear then she turned bright red.

"They remind me of you and Glen."

Clay is my big brother in every sense but blood. My dad was his social worker and he and mom adopted him when Clay was nine. He's black but that wasn't an issue to the family.

_**"So Doctor Carlin, when can I leave? There's nothing that you can do that I can't do at home."**_

"Ms. Davies, it looks like you're ok to go as long as you will call me if you need anything."

For some reason I got a feeling there's something I'm missing.

"Ok, looks like Madison got lost with the lovely chair you love to ride."

I think Ashley said "Shut up."

I wish she would ditch her I-Pad while she talks to me. She clearly can talk.

Here comes Madison in a granny chair. Ashley looks horrified.

"Chica, I see why you hate hospital chairs."

Everyone was laughing except Ashley, I guess because of her bruised rib.

I cannot believe I fell on her again. She was comfy the first time I fell. Hell, if I didn't knock the wind out of the beautiful girl, I wouldn't jump off of her so fast.

Madison looked at me smirking.

"Why are you blushing Spence?"

O god! Everyone staring. "Hmm"

Saved by the computer voice. _**"Madison, leave Blue Eyes alone."**_ Or not. I see Ashley smiling.

I pulled Madison out of the awful oversized chair. Kayden slowly picked Ashley up. I saw tears running down her face. Why did I have to fall and hurt her.

I grabbed a tissue and waited until he got Ashley settled in that chair. I kneeled down and wiped the tears away.

"Girls, do you mind if we stop by a store? I need get Ashley Tylenol extra strength plus ice packs."

"No we don't mind. I gotta ask what's the game plan for tonight?"

Ashley's eyes found Kayden's and she nodded.

"Well, Madison is spending the night, we didn't know if you want go to your brother's or stay at our place. So it's up to you Blue Ang-"

Ashley punched him in gut. He doubled over. Apparently she didn't want him finish that sentence. By the looks of it, she has a good punch.

"Hmm sure why not." Ashley seemed happy with my answer.

Madison hasn't say a word. I stood up to see one pissed off Latina staring down her cell.

"Mads, what's wrong?"

"Sherri put it on YouTube."

"What?"

"The whole fucking Carmen ordeal."

I immediately pulled out my phone to see fifty texts.

"You mean there was a fucking girl recording my big sister being humiliated. Let's go."

I saw Ashley was trying to keep her cool plus trying to not show that she's in serious pain. I decided it was the best that I push her. Kayden and Madison were fuming. I gave them a look to tell them to calm down.

They forgotten it's evidence for the police.

"Madison, call the police and tell them that there's a video on YouTube. Give them all Sherri's information."

I unlocked the chair and started pushing Ashley. Honestly I was expecting some protests.

"Sis, I assumed I would be driving Angelheart. Do you want to lay in the back or passenger's seat?"

Madison kind of chuckled and whispered "Her hummer is named Angelheart."

I saw Ashley had spelled "Back. I don't think I can sit up for much longer." In sign language. This is very interesting piece of information.

"Ok, Spencer or Madison one of you gets to ride in the front with me. You can decide among yourselves."

I knew Madison would do something. "Shotgun"

Kayden spelled, "Looks like Blue Angel will be back with you."

"Don't call her that and stop smirking like that. I know you are crushing on Madison."

Both Madison's and my jaws dropped. Madison also knows sign language too. Maybe I should tell them, I feel like we were invading their private chat.

"Guys, we know sign language."

Kayden turned red as a firefighter's truck. Ashley burst out into laughing and ow's. Madison just took a picture of Kayden's face.

"Keep on laughing big sis, they also know what I said to you. I wonder what they would say if I tell them where I got the nickname from."

Ashley stopped and scooted lower in the awful chair. Madison walked in front of Ashley to see her face.

"Man, both of ya are just like Spencer and Glen but only cuter."

"We Davies don't do cute. We are hot or sexy but not cute."

I saw Ashley duck her head into her hands while Kayden was grinning. They have an amazing love hate relationship. From what I could tell Kayden has alot of respect for his big sister. The way he treats her, you wouldn't know she's disabled.

Finally we were outside. I heard a relieved sigh coming from Ashley.

"Spencer, Ashley is going to be laying down. So which end do you want?"

I smiled. "I think I can be a pillow since your sis was mine."

I have to ask whose design on the hummer. It's a heart with angel wings spread. It's awesome looking.

"Ok, sis I'm going to stand you up and lift you onto the seat. Do you think you can manage sliding yourself up?"

Ashley looked defeated.

"How about I climb in first and help?"

Kayden and Ashley both nodded. Madison was busy on cell to know what we are going to do. So I climbed in and kneeled in about the middle of the back seat. I took a deep breath.

Ashley shut her eyes while Kayden did what he said. I know this was killing her depending on Kayden like this. She is onto the seat.

"Kayden, put Ashley's feet on your chest. Ashley, I'm going assist you while you slide yourself by using your legs. I will pull some by your waistband. So it would be less pain. Ready?"

In a way, I didn't want Ashley to feel so helpless. I knew I could easily pull her in without hurting her but she needed to do something. Kayden gave Ashley a smile.

"Show me how strong your pencil legs are."

I heard Ashley laughed. She pushed off Kayden and I pulled until her butt got to middle of the backseat. I sat myself down on the end of the seat.

"My hands are behind you if you need help to lie down."

I kinda figured she would let herself fall but I didn't want her to hurt herself but to my surprise she slowly eased herself down. Kayden shut the door.

I looked down to see Ashley trying to not cry.

"I am sorry." Ashley shook her head no. "Let me get this out. I'm sorry about how nobody helped you. They watched it happen. I think you let yourself fall so I won't have any more injuries."

She lifted her head to see where the other two were, and then she lay back down.

She started signing. "Look, we can't have this chat now."

I gave her a smile. "Don't think for a second that this chat is over." She nodded.

Madison opened the door, looking grim so did Kayden.

"Spence, Carmen is out on bail."

My heart begun to race. "H-how?"

Yes I'm terrified.

"Sherri."

Nobody said a word 10 minutes.

"FUCK!" I looked down to see Ashley grimace in pain.

"Kayden, slow down on speed bumps. Ashley can't handle the pain much longer."

Madison turned her head. "Ashley, remember what I told you on the way to the hospital. Think of something you love and focus on it."

Ashley closed her eyes. I wonder what she is thinking about.

I heard vitamin C's Friends Forever ringtone coming from Ashley's pants. I took a quick look at her face to find she is sleeping. This person keeps calling, I wasn't sure if I should get the phone but I did.

"Hello."

"Who is this? And why isn't my best friend answering her phone herself?"

Ok, the caller sounded freaked out. "I'm Spencer Carlin. She's sleeping."

"You are the blonde who got punched because you stood up to the crazy chick right?"

"How did you know?"

"Well the reason I called is I saw a messed up video that my boyfriend reposted on Facebook. I need to know if she's ok. I saw the look on her face."

"Do you want me to wake her up?"

"No, just tell her give me a call. By the way, I'm Haley James. And thanks for what you did for Brown Warrior."

I laughed. "Ok, Haley I'll tell Brown Warrior that you called. No need to thank me. Bye."

"Just be careful with Ashley. She's not as strong that she seems. Bye." She hung up.

Kayden laughed. "What did the beast want?"

"To check on Brown Warrior. The video made it onto Facebook. I'm going to kill them."

Kayden's grin has been replaced with anger.

"I thought choosing UCLA would be good for both us but I regret it."

I heard a groan and looked down to see Ashley awake.

"Look, I know this sucks that your big sister got hurt but I guarantee that you have made a right choice." I heard Madison but my eyes couldn't look away from Ashley's face. Something about her draws my attention.

Kayden pulled up to WalMart. "Does anyone need anything?"

"Mind if I come in with you?"

Wow, why do I get the feeling Madison is setting me up?

"No I don't mind. Ashley do you want me get your favorite? I know you haven't eaten all day."

"Hold up, why didn't you eat when I ate my lunch?"

"She doesn't feel comfortable eating out. I have been trying to convince her to ignore the stares."

Ashley signed. "Yes Kayden I would like Raviolis and also double stuff Oreos. Madison, I had a banana milkshake so in a way it's something."

Hmm this is interesting. This girl who stood up to Carmen, has insecurities.

"Spence, do you want anything besides an ice pack?"

"Just Sunkist and sour patch kids."

Madison chuckled. "I should've known. Ok girls we will be back."

An awkward silence filled the hummer. I decided to break the silence. "So, Haley called."

Ashley signed. "I know. I wasn't sleeping."

"She's worried about you."

"She's always worrying but yet she stays with someone who has made my high school life hell."

Should I tell her how Haley found out? Or defuse the conversation?

"Well you're in California now. Granted you're having a bad experience but I promise you it gets better." I gave her the Carlin smile.

"I will hold you to that. So Blue Eyes, tell me about yourself that I don't know."

That I think you're beautiful. It would freak her out.

"I'm 20 years old. I was born in Ohio. My mom got an offer from her mentor to come to work with him. My dad who is the best decided it was a great thing for mom's career to move here. Glen was 17, Clay was 16 and I was 8. You have practically met most of the Carlins in a few hours."

"And you want to be a Physical Therapist because?"

**ASHLEY'S POV**

I know I'm hitting a sensitive subject.

"Well, not because I want to become my mother." I waited until she continued. "When I was 13, I had to go to mom's work after school due to nobody being home. So anyway, there was a little girl who looked really sad watching everyone doing stuff that she can't. I watched my mom walk to this little sad girl with a plan. She asked the little girl what does she want to do. She looked at the little walker. Mom looked where Sam was looking and all I was thinking was how much determination mom had to put a smile on Sam's face. Mom knew it was probably bad idea to do that when it was Sam's first session because mom didn't know how Sam's legs would handle it. So mom took a risky chance and had me to assist. She wanted me to video while mom set up the walker to the height of Sam. Sam's face slowly lit up. It was like the little thing as walking gave Sam a reason to smile. Hell she practically outran mom. I want to be a P.T to give them the ability to believe in themselves." Wow. Didn't expect to hear that.

"I remembered the first time that I stood. My sister and I were really close. My parents didn't believe in me. I basically had to depend on Brooke and Kayden. So on my fifth birthday, I made a wish. I didn't tell anyone. I guess Brooke figured it out three months later. My mommom on dad's side had us over. I was sitting on the porch, watching Brooke, Kayden and rest of neighborhood kids playing tag. I must of looked sad because when Brooke caught my eyes and she stopped running. She whispered for Kayden to get mommom's camera. That day is a day I'll never forget. Brooke threw me over her shoulder and ran around for a bit until Kayden came with mommom. She whispered in my ear that she got me covered. She sat me down and grabbed under my arms. Before I know it I was standing. It was amazing. I can't explain it. Brooke was my hero and she was my protector. She didn't want to leave but she made a promise she would be back. I had hope up until an incident that happened when I was ten."

Don't cry Ashley don't cry. Damn tears started to surface. Spencer just stared at me. Probably trying to come up something to say.

"Have you thought of a reason she never came back?"

"I know she's not dead. I looked up her name even looked up my mom's maiden name every year. If Brooke loved us, nothing would keep her from my little brother and me."

I could tell she wanted to say something but I got a text.

Hey is Kayden around? -Mike

Hey, he's in Wally World. What's up? -Ashley

Ashley I should wait until I talk to both of you. -Mike

What's going on Mike? -Ashley

I found her. -Mike


	8. Courage

Suddenly I sat up, ignoring the pain. Spencer stared at me intensely.

Where? -Ashley

You're not going like this. Your sister is in Palm Springs Rehabilitation Center. -Mike

Kayden and Madison came back. "What are you doing sitting up?"

I just stared at the text.

"She's fucking here in rehab."

Kayden looking confused. "Who is in rehab? And calm down."

"Brooke and I' am as calm as I can be."

Kayden quickly made it to the back seat. He looked in my eyes.

"Brooke as in our sister?"

I literally broke down.

"Are you guys talking about Brooklynn Woods?"

Both of us looked at Madison.

"Madison how did you know?"

Spencer opened the door and kept repeating. "I can't believe this shit."

"What the fuck do you two know about Brooke?" Kayden was getting red in his face.

Madison spoke up. "Guys we did not know she had any family living."

I shot Spencer a look. "About 8 and half years ago, Glen met a pregnant teenager who had -"

Kayden interrupted her. "Pregnant?"

Suddenly I felt sick.

"Yes, you guys have a niece."

Kayden looked as hurt I was feeling. "Ashley, lay down please. I know what you're thinking."

I shook my head no. I literally gotten myself onto the seat next to left door. I'm too beyond messed up to talk to anyone

Madison and Spencer kept quiet. I could feel their eyes on me especially Spencer's.

"What's her name? What is she like? When is her birthday?" Kayden is quite the questioner.

"Kyla Ashley Carlin, she was born on December 31th. She was 3 months premature. She's deaf but very talented drawer and writer."

I heard Kayden laughed some. "Wow. How did Brooke manage having her kid born on Ashley's birthday?"

I was crying hard now.

I felt Spencer move closer to me. She grabbed my hand and squeezed. I refused to look at her. I just listened.

"It wasn't planned. She was in a car accident in Pennsylvania."

Ok what the fuck? I looked at Blue Angel. Kayden pulled over and jumped out. Oh no. I quickly got Madison's attention and signed. "Stop him before he hurt himself by punching a tree." She jumped out and ran to him.

I pulled out Tylenol.

"Mind if I steal one of your Sunkist's?"

She grabbed two and opened mine for me. I popped two pills into my mouth and drank the twelve ounces in one shot. I haven't had anything to drink since instant breakfast.

"So Kyla was born in PA?" I'm trying here.

"Yes."

"Kyla is eight years old?" She nodded. "What does she look like?" Spencer showed me a picture off her cell.

This girl looks just like me when I was little.

"What is your sister's real name?"

I tore my eyes from the picture and signed. "Brooke Lynn Davies. Woods is our mom's maiden name."

Kayden knocked on the door, I pushed myself off the door.

I nodded for him to open it. I needed to hug him as much he needed to hug me. I started to cry onto his shirt.

"I know big sis. We need to talk when we get home. This is bittersweet now we know that Brooke isn't six feet under. Can you lie down please?"

I look into his eyes and saw the five year old frightened boy start to come out.

I held out my pinkie finger. After we did our Davies hug.

"Holy cow! Kyla loves that hug shake."

Both of us quirked an eyebrow at the two girls. "Guess Brooke taught her daughter the Davies hug." For some reason that put a smile on our faces.

I motioned Spencer to move over so I can make Kayden happy by laying down. I know what I have to do even though I have a lot of anger towards her. I needed to set up a visit by myself before I let Kayden see her. I don't know if he would understand my reasons when I don't myself.

I feel Spencer playing with my hair. It is actually smoothing. Twenty minutes later, we reached to the loft. Kayden unloaded my chair.

"Kay, I'm going to be staying out here for a bit. You can show the girls everything but the creativity room. There's a box labeled sleepwear in my room. They can borrow something." I sat up and reached for his shoulders. "Let me see what I can handle ok?"

He stepped aside but not too far. He positioned Davies 143 the way it needs to be. I saw the two confused girls staring at me. I closed my eyes and took a couple breaths.

"You girls are going to see why Ashley's nickname is Brown Warrior." I knew he was smiling.

I had to take my time to reach for the sturdy bar due to my right bruised rib. Once I gripped the bar, a grin started creeping upon my lips. I knew I got this.

Usually I would hop off the seat but J didn't want to put my rib thru torture so I slidded myself off the seat. When my feet hit the ground, I waited and let myself brainstorm my next step.

"Kay, can you move so you are in front of me, just in case I lose my balance."

He understood what I was going to do. We practiced this a few of times. I lost my balance more than not in those times.

I sidestepped few steps, I felt the end of the bar. I took a breath before letting go. All I had to hold me up are my legs and Angelheart. I had one thing in my eyesight. I held my breath while I moved my left foot towards my chair. Once I did it, I knew the hard part out of the way.

I moved quickly when my left hand grabbed the armrest of my power chair. I just leaped into my seat. Kayden wiped his forehead off.

"Damn chica, you sure are an amazing girl."

l was feeling the pain but refused to let it stop me from swinging my foot petals. If I have two bruised ribs I would not have even tried.

"And B.W does it again."

I signed so everyone would understand. "Madison, I'm not that amazing. It's the way my life is. Kayden, you know I hate that nickname. Y'all go inside. I'll be in soon. Kayden you better warn them or I'll kick your ass."

Kayden looking a bit shocked.

"Ok girls let's go. Ashley you want me start heating up your raviolis in twenty minutes?"

My stomach starting to growl.

"Ten minutes is better. Hey where's my keys?"

He threw them towards me. I watched the three enter the loft.

I turned Davies 143 on and drove onto the sand until I found a spot. After everything that had happen today. I let myself to finally digest it all while watching the waves.

I hate that everything surrounds Blue Angel. Even my fucking sister managed to be in the mix. I'm really confused about how to feel about the fact that I finally know where Brooke is. I'm happy, pissed, sad and broken up all together. All I know for sure that I need answers from Brooke.

I went inside and straight to the kitchen. I noticed a bad tension between Spencer and Kayden.

"What did I miss?"

"Well Spencer tried to justify why Brooke had not said a word about us."

"Wait what? That's not possible."

"FACE IT ASHLEY, BROOKE ERASED US IN HER NEW LIFE AND SPENCER JUSTIFIES IT."

I rode up to Kayden and pulled him down to my eye level.

"Don't you think I haven't fucking faced it? I'm the one who fucking got beat so bad to the point I was in a fucking coma. No I did not fall down the stairs by an accident. I was the one that fucking wished for my hero to come back to rescue us. I was the one who was foolish enough to believe that she would come back. Don't you dare say that to me again."

I let go his collar and went to my room and slammed my door. I was so beyond pissed off that I needed to cool off. I pulled out a notebook and started drawing. It's my outlet for my anger and this notebook is for Brooke. I started it when I gave up hope. I drew Kyla with the words IS THIS WHY?

My bathroom door opened. I jumped and screamed in pain.

"O my god, I'm so sorry."

I turned my chair to give Madison a forced smile.

She had my Steelers shorts and Phillies t-shirt on. I thought it was cute but ignored it. My rib is killing me. She could easily tell I was in serious pain.

"Do you think you could help me get into bed. I don't want to see Kayden or Spencer right now."

Madison did it without saying a word. Who knew she was so strong. I didn't. She picked me up like a baby and place me onto my lovely Buffy sheet. She took off my shoes and laughed at my Mickey socks.

"Why didn't I notice these before?" She kept on laughing.

"Maybe my legs distracted you?" I smirked.

"True true. Do you want food? Your stomach is making noises." I nodded.

After ten minutes, Madison brought in a tray with a mixing bowl full of raviolis plus two cups along with a half of gallon of Wawa fruit punch.

"Kayden made three cans of raviolis. He claims you can eat them all. I highly doubt it."

I poured the fruit punch into cups.

"You don't have to stay here to keep me company."

She took the cup and took a drink.

"Yea I know but I rather be in here than hearing them blaming each other. Mind if I ask what pissed you off so badly?"

Before I answered, I drank two cups. "The truth is I just snapped. I understand why Kayden was pissed to hear Spencer defend why Brooke never talked about us. That hurts. But also Spencer probably is Brooke's friend and she had a right to defend her. I'm just pissed that it been almost twelve years that Kayden or I haven't seen or heard from Brooke. I have heard all I can handle for one day. I'll be damned if I have to referee between the two."

Madison looked sorry. "I'm sorry girl. You are on a never-ending emotional roller coaster ride. And today it added alot on you, but you just dealt with it the best way you can. I can't imagine what's going on in your head. What are you going to do with the whole Brooke ordeal?"

I gave her a look that says I don't feel like answering.

"So, I am wondering something."

I looked at her funny. "What?"

It took her a minute to think before asking.

"What team do you bat for?"

I literally felt my jaw dropped.

"None at the moment."

Madison looks confused. "Does that mean Sarah Michelle Gellar has a chance?"

No she didn't just use my love for Buffy against me.

"Nah, she's old now. Honestly I don't know. I'm just me and if I find the one for me I wouldn't be opposed to girl or boy. It's a matter of who is the right one for me. So as of now I need to focus on my family."

Then I heard a knock on my bedroom door. I guessed it would be my brother. I dropped a bombshell onto his lap.

"Come in."

Kayden came in, looking so mixed up.

"Ok, I'm going to go to bed. Ashley I understand what you were saying. Goodnight you two." She was out of room in a flash.

I took few mouthfuls of yummy ravioli. I patted on my bed for him to sit.

"So is it safe to say I'm an idiot?"

Leave it to Kayden to try loosen the tension.

"No you are definitely not an idiot. You are as upset as I am and both of us kinda messed up. Which issue do you want to tackle first?"

Kayden laid down. "What really happened on that night?"

I slightly froze for two minutes. "Hand me the box of notebooks please."

Kayden reached for the box. He stared while I looked for a certain notebook. After ten minutes I found it.

"Remember when I got back from rehab?" He nods. "Remember how I was into this notebook?" Again nods. "Well this notebook has every second of abuse. I think you're old enough to read this, but you have to swear that nobody and I mean nobody will read it while it's in your care plus you cannot blame yourself for anything in this. Understood?"

Kayden looking down in my hands. I know he wants to know.

"I swear Ashley that the notebook will be hidden."

I handed it to him. I know he would get his questions answered from it but I don't know how he would handle it.

"Now my turn. What did I walk into in the kitchen?"

Kayden started pay extra attention to my sheets. "Just Spencer said something I wasn't ready to hear and then you came in and you seemed to defend Spencer. So I just felt you know."

I looked at him shocked.

"How do you even think I was defending Spencer? I was caught off guard when you told me that Brooke had practically erased us from her new life. That hurts Kayden but when you yelled at me, I snapped." He looked in my eyes.

"How in the hell are we going to deal with Brooke? Oh there's something I have to tell you and I already know you're not going to like this."

**A/N: Thanks all for reviews and alerts. I couldn't hold off this chapter much longer lol. Honestly I'm stuck what to write next. Next chapter is already written.. It's a journal entry from Brooke so you guys will have some insight about Brooke. Anyways whenever Ashley talks without I-PAD to the girls, she's signing.**


	9. 2

**A/N:This is definitely short. Sorry I didn't know if I wanted to add more or just give you guys a taste of the eldest Davies before the reunion or showdown. I'll try to write a chapter quickly. If anything, I'll have one by my birthday next Thursday. On sidenote, Phillies are killing it. My boys making me so proud. I hope tthey keep Lance Worley. He pitched his first Major League complete game against the Giants.**

**A JOURNAL ENTRY**

_Day 65_

_So here I am, writing about my stupid feelings. Why? Because the idiots in this place claim it would help me. Like it helped the past four times? This is my fifth time in rehab and they still do same shit._

_If it wasn't for my daughter, I wouldn't be here, trying to cope with my demons of the past. She deserves a better mother than a junkie. I was totally fine up until Kyla turned six._

_Something just snapped in me. It was like I couldn't look at her without regret. She looks just like my little sister. Yes I have a little sister and brother. I fucked up royally with them. It is just under 11 years since I have seen or talked to either of them._

_Not a day goes by, that I don't think about Ash and K man. I hope that they are ok. Who am I kidding? I had every chance to go visit them and take them far away from our grandparents from hell but I didn't. I knew they were verbally abusive towards Ashley because she is physically challenged. I used to defend her up until our mom decided she couldn't handle that our father left the money only to Ashley. It was utterly funny if you ask me._

_Dad knew Ashley had a heart and he wanted her to have the best. But he never interacted with Ash when he was alive. Hell if I wasn't around I know for a fact that they would have sent her to a facility._

_Anyway, after Mike read the will, mom went psycho. Dad didn't put Christine in the will. Kayden got his guitars and some other stuff. I somehow got the three houses. And Ashley got the money and part of the record company._

_Ashley was only six, and instant a multi billionaire. She was confused but smart. She had Mike to keep an eye on everything. Mom hated that Ashley only pitied her twenty five thousand dollars. It was more than I would have given but I guess that is why dad put so much in Ashley's hands._

_After Ash gave her mom the money, her mom decided she needed a change and I had to go. Ash did not want me to go. I made a promise which I never kept. I'm the worst sister in the universe to break the one promise that I should of kept._

_But something had happened, I was raped by my mom's boyfriend when I was eighteen. Mom accused me of sleeping with him and kicked me out. All I had was a duffel bag and plane ticket to Los Angeles. I bumped into Glen and he had changed my life forever._

_Brooke_


	10. Be

**A/N:Hey guys, I'm not sure I like this chapter. I wanted to thank you all who revviewed/alert/message me. They make me smile. I need to take my time with next chapter because it'll have a lot ansswers I'm sure you all have questions. Trust me I'm goiing to try give you the missing links. What Ashley is talking about refers to chapter 3 rules. I was going to post this on my b-day but I have a crazy week and I couldn't leave you all hanging. I know this chapter seem well lacking alot but I think you guys would enjoy it.**

**MADISON'S POV**

"How is Spencer?"

I saw Ashley in the kitchen looking tired.

**_"Well I know for sure, she'll have a shitty day."_**

Spencer had a girl to bring her her last night. She was so drunk that Ashley made her sit on her lap to take Spencer to the bathroom. I watched from the stairs. I wasn't spying or anything. I was on my way to answer the door but Ashley beat me to the punch. Once I heard drunk Spencer's voice. I figured it was a good idea to let Ashley to handle Spencer by herself.

"How are you? Are you in pain?"

I know the passed four weeks, Ashley had been closed off in her room. She has stopped asking for help last week. I'm a bit concerned about her.

**_"I'm ok, and my rib is almost back to normal. Do you want pancakes for breakfast? I know Spencer is not eating."_**

I just figured what Ashley was doing.

"Sure but can you cook?"

All I seen this girl eat was PBJ, pop-tarts and can stuff that can be heated up in a microwave.

_**"Well why would I be making pancake batter if I don''t know how to cook?"**_

I walked to coffee maker and poured myself a cup, then pulled a chair around the counter.

"I don't know maybe preparing it for me to cook."

She just laughed. _**"You should know by now, I'm nobody's bitch where it comes to food. I know how to cook but I wasn't going to cook with my rib throbbing."**_

I gave her a nod.

_**"So Madison, I have been thinking and talked to Kayden about asking you if you would like to hmmmm move in with us. I know you stayed to help me out and I appreciated it."**_

She looks nervous. I stared at her for a minute. "Are you serious?"

_**"Yes if you want. All I ask, for you be responsible for half of grocies and half of Comcast bill. So you won't feel like you freeloading. And follow no drugs rule and also dating rule even if its Aiden. And the room with midnight door is off limits."**_

I jumped up and gave her a hug.

I see Ashley texting someone. Probably Kayden. He told me that Ashley talks to him everyday, so he wasn't as concerned as I am. Maybe I just want to know how she really is.

"Since we are roommates and all, spill about last night."

Shit, the smile faded a bit off of Ashley's face.

**SPENCER'S POV**

Where the fuck am I? I'm hugging a Buffy pillow. Wait, Ashley is the only girl that I know that has Buffy pillows. I roll onto my back and saw the black ceiling with stars and instantly I panicked. I looked under the blanket, hoping I was decent. Well I was but I'm wearing an oversized Purple Venom t-shirt and shorts, What the hell happened? Why am I in Ashley's bed? And why am I wearing these clothes?

I look around to see if the brunette was somewhere in the room. I noticed there's a cup of water and two pills sitting on the nightstand and a bucket half full of puke. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. I assumed that is my puke. I took the pills and downed the water. I pick up the bucket and ran to the toilet. Ok I so hope I didn't make a fool out of myself.

I look in the mirror to see I had a hickey. Oh shit why can't I remember? I see an unopened brown tooth brush sitting next to it is toothpaste. Ok either Ashley or Madison set this up. I gotta to talk to them.

After I washed up, I headed to the kitchen but hear Madison asking Ashley what happened last night. Guess I'll stay put and listen to hopefully jog my memory.

_**"Well I guess the girl who brought her here, was trying hook up with Spencer. I found a hickey while I helped Spencer undress, It was harder to get her to put some clothes on because she thought that something was gonna happen. After I finally convinced her to put some clothes on, she thought I was Brooke. Needlessly to say I found out stuff I don't think Spencer wanted me knowing."**_

O man, I can't believe I did that to Ashley.

"Chica, why didn't you call me? I would of helped. Soencer rarely gets wasted."

_**"I don't know. It felt good hearing those things even if it was the alcohol talking. I had never heard anyone say that about me."**_

"Why do you look upset then?"

_**"She was wasted Madison. I doubt half of the stuff was real and it's OK. Anyway I'll start the pancakes."**_

Shit shit shit, I better remember what I said soon. I decided to walk into kitchen. Ashley was at the stove and Madison was at the counter, drinking her coffee. Madison was first to notice me.

"Hi Spence. You look like shit."

"Gee thanks. On scale from 1 to 10, how bad was I?"

Madison shook her head. I looked at Ashley whose face beat red. Ashley put a pancake on a plate and held up 8 fingers before adding more batter on the frying pan.

"Oh man sorry."

Madison got up and pulled out a mug and poured me some coffee.

"What happened Spence? You never drink without me."

I looked over towards Ashley's way.

"Mom and I went at it again. She was pissed about something."

"What did Paula say now?"

I looked down.

"Glen and I broke the news about Brooklynn's real name yesterday."

I saw Ashley turned off the stove, put the plate of pancakes down. Pulled out her I-Pad.

_**"You girls can eat. I'm going to go out."**_

Ok?

"Chica, eat something first. You made them and besides Angelheart can wait alittle while."

Ashley looked at me. _**"Madison I just need to leave. I'll be back in few hours."**_

I definitely know it was me that was making her leave her own house.

"No Ash."

Oh shit, she gave me a sad look.

_**"Don't call me that again. Like you wouldn't remember, I'm visiting BROOKLYNN WOODS TODAY."**_

She grabbed her keys and went into her room.

"Dammit Spencer. You know Kayden warned us about that nickname."

I got up.

"Did you know that Ashley is going to see Brooke today?"

"NO! today was the first day she actually had stayed to talk to me. You appartently don't fucking remember last night. I'm going to call Kayden."

"No, don't call him. I'm going to dig myself out 100 feet of shit with Ashley."

I grabbed two plates of pancakes and disappeared into Ashley's room.


	11. The Right

**A/N:Don't freak until you read the other part of author's note. I know you all are confused by last chapter. I even confused myself but I found my gut and went for it. It'll come together in a fashion way.**

A month had passed, and my rib is almost healed. Poor Madison, I took my frustrations out on her. Needless to say I was a royal pain in her ass. So I got to thinking. How lonely I'll be without anyone around? I havediscussed it with Kayden and he agreed with me. I think he's just happy that I want a roommate. Madison was a perfect choice. Since she hasn't ran away during my frustrated moments.

I decided to make my famous pancakes to ease my nerves about everything that was running through my head. Madison walked in, looking concerned. I knew she is worried about me. So I took a chance to ask Madison if she wanted to move in. I thought she'd say no because I was pretty bad to her. I was happy that she said yes well she hugged me so I'll take it as yes.

Last night I needed to talk to somebody that I had been avoiding like the plague. Yes I know I'm an idiot. After that night with Carmen punching Blue Angel, I freaked. This chick who I only knew for a few hours, got me to want to open up to her. Not even Haley knows about Brooke and I when I was 5.

Speaking of my lovely sister, Kayden told me everything Mike had found out. God only knows how much I want beat a lot of sense into Brooke. Hell I should of known it was heroin. That was dad's drug of choice and apparently Brooke's too. The million dollar question is where is Christine? I mean Brooke is her favorite child. What went down between the two? Well I'm going to get some answers today. I got approved to visit her today. She doesn't know that I'm coming. As far I'm concerned she doesn't deserve to know.

I have missed eight years of my niece's life because Brooke stayed away. Not only does she have a daughter who is probably missing Brooke like crazy, she has a guy who loves her. I'd think that will be enough to keep her off drugs. Who am I to judge? I freaked out when I found Spencer's medicine bottle sitting on my sink. Lucky Kayden was still in my room or I probably would have relapsed.

I haven't met Glen or Kyla yet. I feel like I need some answers from my sister before jumping off of solid ground. Kayden met Glen and seemed to like him. Kayden hasn't asked me to go meet Glen in awhile. He knows how far he can push before I flip.

There were times Kayden called in tears. He had found out more than he expected by reading my notebook. In a weird way, we grew closer. I keep telling him there was nothing he could do to stop it from happening without putting himself in danger and I sure as hell wouldn't let him do that.

I heard my bedroom door opened and closed. I don't need to see her to know it's Blue Angel. It's weird that I can sense her, I can't really explain it.

_**"What do you want Spencer?"**_

I refused to look at her.

"I want to eat with you."

I could tell she was uneasy.

_**"Not hungry."**_

I so want her to just leave.

"I know that you're upset with me and I'm sorry I wasn't thinking.."

Now I'm annoyed.

_**"Do you even know why I'm upset? Don't you dare say it was because what you called me."**_

I still had my back to her.

"Guessing last night."

She doesn't even know.

_**"You should check your cell, maybe that will help to jog your memory because I'm not going tell you again."**_

I texted Spencer. No I didn't know she was with a girl or drinking.

:"I wasn't drinking yet when we were chatting."

I turned around.

_**"Then why did you come here wasted? I don't buy the mom excuse. She may had a part to do with it but if you weren't drinking by midnight which when I first texted you."**_

She was playing with her hair. I went to my laptop and hit play. She sung a song to me last night.

_You don't think you're special_  
><em>You don't think you're strong<em>  
><em>But when the sky is falling<em>  
><em>You feel like you belong<em>

_It might not be obvious_  
><em>But you're not alone<em>  
><em>We're going to let you wander<em>  
><em>But never on your own<em>

_And I don't know if I can help you_  
><em>You could tell me all you need<em>  
><em>Its all right, You're wanted<em>  
><em>Tonight it's alright<em>  
><em>You're wanted<em>

_And your expectations_  
><em>Are killing you slow<em>  
><em>You're getting what you wanted<em>  
><em>But pain is all you know<em>

_You've got a new life now_  
><em>There's much that you see<em>  
><em>But those that really know you<em>  
><em>Are few and far between<em>

_And I don't know if they will help you_  
><em>Do you tell them all you need?<em>  
><em>Its all right you're wanted<em>  
><em>Tonight it's alright<em>  
><em>You're wanted<em>

_And you couldn't be more wrong_  
><em>When you say it won't be long<em>  
><em>Til the stars are gone<em>  
><em>And you, you've got to see<em>  
><em>When you bleed you're never free<em>  
><em>'cause life's not that easy.<em>

_But tonight its alright_  
><em>You're wanted<em>  
><em>Tonight it's alright<em>  
><em>You're wanted<em>  
><em>Tonight it's alright<em>  
><em>You're wanted<em>

I hit stop and looked at Spencer. She looked paler than she was normally.

"I sang to you?"

For some reason I don't think I was supposed to know that she sings.

_**"Well technically you thought I was Brooke. You wanted to know if she thought that I would like it."**_

Spencer ran into the bathroom. I heard she was getting sick. I went in after her.

What I saw, made me get down on the floor and crawl to the blonde. I did not know what to do except rub her back while she emptied her stomach. After she was done, I pulled a towel off the rack and wet it in the shower. I leaned on the wall where Spencer was staring at. I motioned her to come closer. When she gottten to arm length, I reached for her. I started wiping her face.

"You don't have to do this."

I repositioned myself before replying to that. I made Blue Angel look at me. Since I left my I-Pad in the bedroom, I had to sign.

"I wanted to. Come closer."

What the hell was I doing? I should of gotten Madison, but for some reason I wanted to be the one that helps Blue Angel.

The song really got to me. Nobody has ever sang for me. It's an amazing song and I knew there is a meaning to it which scares me. I might be falling for this girl. How do I really know?

Spencer has fallen asleep in my arms. I hear Madison come in my room. I hope she'd come into the bathroom. I can feel my rib starting to hurt alittle. I realized the reason this time I felt worse was because all of other times I was on the strong shit. I know one of these days I need to tell Madison and Spencer about rehab.

I saw Madison walk in. She looked kind of amused and worried at the same time. I looked at the blonde and back to the Latina. She mouthed 'Want me to get her to bed'. I nodded, I don't know what it looked like to Madison but I didn't have time to explain. After Madison took Blue Angel out of my arms, I decided to lay down for a few minutes. I neeeded to stretch out my back. Madison walked in and laughed.

"Chica, you look like you loving your bathroom floor."

"At the moment, I'm loving it. I know you have questtions for me but I can't answer them right now. I need to leave in five minutes."

Madison looks like she wants to ask something.

I got back into Davies 143 and grabbed everything. I figured I would leave a note. God, I feel like a dork but I don't want Blue Angel to wake up looking for me.

Now I'm off to see my long lost sister. It's going to be even more interesting day then it has to this point so far.

**A/N:Yea I just did Ashley's POV. Next chapter will have some of Spencer's POV and what Ashley wrote. I know I'm evil but it's my 29th b-day tomorrow and I'm confident you will enjoy the future chapters more or so. The song is Wanted by Rachel Diggs.**


	12. Girl

**SPENCER'S POV**

Why am I hugging Buffy again? I don't even like Buffy. Faith was a lot hotter than Buffy. I'm looking at the laptop across the room. I so hope it was just a dream.. I spot a green piece of paper with my nickname that I grew very fond of, written on it. I still can't believe how I had my blonde moments and forgot to introduce myself.

_Blue Eyes,_

_Sorry that I had to go. I just wanted to let you to know that you got an amazing voice and I love the song. Hopefully we can talk later._

_Ash_

Didn't she freak out when I called her Ash? This is way too complicated to understand. Well at least I know she likes the song. I wrote it a few days after I met her properly. I don't know why I feel like there is some sort of connection between Ashley and me. It isn't just an attraction like I had with Carmen. It's way more than that from the second I first saw the brunette. Granted I ran as our eyes connected. I still can't really explain it but I have a feeling she feels it too.

Yesterday was literately a Carlin World War three at mom's place. Glen and I decided to tell our parents about Brooke's family. Glen knew mom would freak out and he needed some backup. So after we told her she went off about the Davies family. I knew mom never really liked Brooke but she went too far when Glen punched the wall.

She said. "Like father like daughters."

Dad had to drag Glen out of the house. That was when it clicked. Ashley cannot be around pain killers and Clay gave her his number. I just proved this blonde is not too smart.

"Paula, you had no fucking right to talk about something you fucking don't know anything about. Not only did you disrespect your son but you have disrespected Kyla and her family. Fuck, you and you wonder why I don't tell you anything because you think only about your reputation. You can't accept the fact that I am a lesbian and I fucking deal with it. I WILL NOT DEAL WITH YOU DISRESPECTING KYLA, KAYDEN, ASHLEY AND BROOKE BECAUSE THEY DESERVE RESPECT. YOU JUST PUSHED YOUR SON WHO WORSHIPS THE GROUND YOU WALK ON AWAY." I stared into her eyes. "From now on, you lost the right to be called mom. I'm done dealing with your hatred towards others that don't fit the great Paula Carlin. I'm done trying to prove to you that I haven't changed. I AM DONE GETTING YOU TO LOVE ME FOR ME. YOU TORE THIS FAMILY APART BY YOUR OWN ACTIONS. SURE BLAME IT ON ME FOR BEING GAY, BLAME IT ON DAD FOR WANTING HIS WIFE HOME SOME MORE, BLAME CLAY FOR FINDING HIS BIRTH MOTHER AND BLAME GLEN FOR HAVING THE HEART TO BRING BROOKE AND HER UNBORN BABY IN BUT IN REALITY, IT'S YOU THAT NEVER WERE THERE TO SUPPORT ANY OF US. HELL WE MOVED HERE BECAUSE OF YOU. DAD GAVE YOU EVERYTHING AND YOU DIDN'T STOP AND THINK THAT HE NEEDED YOU."

Dad came in. "Spence, thank you for finally getting that off your chest even tho your mother is like a brick wall. Go to Glen. Both of you need each other. I'll be out in a minute so we can go to eat dinner like the old times."

I hugged my dad.

"Goodbye Paula." I walked out.

After I spent much needed family time with dad and Glen, I went driving around, It helps when I am upset. I can't believe I practically disowned the woman who gave me life.

I looked around for my phone, I guess one of girls got same charger and had my cell charging. I flipped it open and went to my inbox.

Hi Blue Eyes. -Ashley

Do I know you? Cause only person that calls me that has been avoiding me for the past month for no reason at all! -Spencer

OK maybe this was a bad idea. Sorry for bothering you. -Ashley

Hold up! Why dd you text me in the first place? To bail again? -Spencer

Look I don't need to tell you anything but since I supposedly bailed. What the fuck? You can't seriously tell me you don't know why I shut down. I don't need to apologize for it because I had every reason to. I'm sorry for shutting you out but try put yourself in my wheels before being pissed off. -Ashley

What do you mean? -Spencer

Everything is connected to you. When you first saw me, you ran. Then I had stood up to your ex. Befriended your best friend. Then having you fall into my lap. Then practically hired you as my P.P.T. Then you defended me and fell on me again. Your brother was my freaking doctor. Plus you know my sister who has a deaf daughter. The main kicker, I'm scared of this feeling that I feel safe telling you everything. -Ashley

So I freak you out because you feel safe with me? -Spencer

Can you really blame me? We barely know each other but yet I can open up to you easily. -Ashley

Ok, let me get this straight, well not literally. You are avoiding me because you feel comfortable with me? Sorry but that doesn't make any sense. -Spencer

Unfortunately yes. If you want you can come over and we can talk since I can't sleep. =Ashley

Gimme a hour then I'll be there. Spencer

After I texted that to Ashley, I needed a few shots. It was a stupid move on my part but with everything that has happened was beginning to be too much to handle. I should of said I was too tired or something but I couldn't pass up a chance to see the brunette.

**MADISON'S POV**

I can't believe what Glen just told me over the phone. No wonder Spencer was wasted last night. I should check on her. The last time I checked on the sleeping blonde, she was snuggling with Ashley's pillow. I kinda took a picture of Ashley holding Spencer in her arms on the bathroom floor. Yes I am a sneaky girl.

I grabbed two Deerpark bottles of water and crackers. I noticed Ashley's G2 was running low. Kayden told me no matter what don't let Ashley run out of G2. He says it's like water to Ashley and she needs it. So I made a note to remind whoever goes to store to pick up G2. I was totally surprised when Ashley asked me to move in. I thought she wanted me out once she was fully healed. God, when she feels helpless she gets so frustrated that she took it out on me. I have to admit, I was ready to leave on day three but Kayden shined a light on Ashley's frustration. Granted he had slipped telling me why Ashley freaked out by finding Spencer's pills in her bathroom. I swore to him I wouldn't tell anyone especially Ashley.

My parents were overjoyed that I would be moving out of their house. I was a little upset how happy they were. I thought they loved having me around. It wasn't like I was liviing off my parents. I paid 400 a month, only because they wouldn't take anymore from me. Ok ok, I need to stop analyzing my parents' reactions.

I walked into Ashley's room, to find Spencer staring at her cell.

"Hey when did you wake up?"

"Not too long ago. Did someone go with Ashley?"

I handed a bottle of water to her and sat on the edge of bed.

"No because she wanted to do it alone. Kayden isn't OK about Ashley going alone but he knows for Ashley's sake, it had to be her way. Brooke was everything to her and having Brooke to leave and never come back killed Ashley. I guess she needed to do this for herself to get some sort of closure."

Damn Spencer drank the water in one breath.

"Is she even capable to be going alone with her rib?"

I sort of laughed. "Spence, I am pretty sure if she could get down on the floor to help you and back in her chair with no problems then driving and facing Brooke shouldn't be an issue with her rib."

She looked towards Ashley's laptop. "I think I screwed up last night."

"I can't really tell. What happened Spence? You never get wasted without me. All I know that Ashley is thinking that everything you did last night is because you were drunk."

Spencer ran her hand through her hair. "Yesterday I told Paula off and practically disowned her not like she would care. So while I was driving aimlessly, Ashley finally texted me and said some stuff. I needed a few shots before showing up here, but unfortunately I got messed up after three shots of vodka. Wait I never get messed up with that many shots."

I looked at her confused. "Are you sure you just had three?"

"Yes because I knew I was coming here. I originally was stopping at two but a hot chick bought me a shot."

"Oh crap Spence. What is our number one rule?"

Spencer turned pale. "Never take anything from a stranger. FUCK. HOW CAN I BE SO DENSE?"

I got up and started to pace. "Well chica, do you know if you had sex?"

I know I blushed. I don''t like talking about her sex life.

"I know for a fact the answer is a big no." I so wanna know how does she know. "This is not something I would want to admit to my straight best friend but Carmen and I never did it. So I'm still a virgin."

I stopped and stared in the blue eyes of my best friend. "WHAT?"

I could tell she is becoming highly uncomfortable.

"Don't look at me like that. Mads, I am a frigging VIRGIN."

We heard someone cleared their throat. Both of our heads turn to see a blushing Kayden standing in the doorway. I know Spencer wants to die right now. Hell I would too if someone heard that about me.

"OK. I will just go to the store to pick up stuff. I'll act like I didn't just hear a hot girl confess that she's a virgin."

I just couldn't resist cracking up.

"Have you heard from your sister?"

"Yea, she called before she actually went inside. She sounded like she's freaking. I figured I'd go pick up a shit load of junk food and wait for Ashley to come home. I have a feeling she's going to need a Davies fun night."

Kayden was looking at Spencer like he wanted to ask her a question.

"What Kayden? Just ask."

Kayden looked straight in Spencer's eyes. "Was there something between you and Brooke?"

Now I am confused.

"Why are you asking?"

Wait, Spencer is getting defensive. Kayden crossed his arms.

"Because my sister called me and shared her thoughts about last night. Look I am going to say this once. If there were something between Brooke and you. Please tell Ashley before it's too late."

Spencer broke eye contact.

"Kayden, I would know if there has ever been something between them and I'm pretty sure you have nothing to worry about. Should I go while you and Ashley have a Davies fun night?"

I heard Spencer let out a relieved sigh.

"I hope you're right Madison. No you girls should stay. I think Ashley needs a night full of laughs. She really likes you girls even though it didn't seem like it."

"Hell I'm totally shocked that she asked me to be her roommate this morning."

Kayden laughed and Spencer looked clueless.

"Let me guess, Ashley asked over her special pancakes?" I looked at him and nodded. "When she's nervous, she cooks her pancakes."

"Hold up, Mads you're moving in?"

I gave her a nod. I couldn't read her expression.

"OK girls, do you have any requests that I should pick up? Also i want you to invite Aiden. I'll be outnumbered tonight."

"Chocolate chip cookie dough, Hershey kisses. And Ashley is getting low on G2. I brought down whatever you had in your mini fridge."

"Sour patch kids and chocolate pretzels."

Kayden walked towards Ashley's desk and pulled out a notepad. He wrote everything down. He showed me and Spencer.

"Don't you think this a bit too much?"

He just laughed. "Oh boy, you girls haven't experienced Ashley's junk food nights yet. Just say we all would be lucky if this is enough. Oh, Madison, Ashley had ordered this for you two weeks ago."

He gave me a hot pink key.

My jaw dropped. "Wow, what if I said no?"

"Well Ashley is very persistent once she has an idea, she doesn't give up. She had no doubt about you. Welcome to the place. You can do whatever to your room now except no holes unless you have me add them because I don't want any wires hit."

I smiled and hugged him until Spencer cleared her throat.

"Kayden can you give me a ride to Ego. I need to pick up Spence-A-Tor."

He looks confused.

"My car."

He looks amused. "OK. Perfect."

Oh I may enlist him into my Spashley mission. He seems that he would help out.

**BROOKE'S POV**

I have been notified that I'm going to get a visitor today. The fucked up thing is nobody would tell me who it is going to be. That should be illegal or something. I hope to god it wouldn't be Kyla. I don't want my daughter in this place. It wouldn't be Glen cause he visited few days ago. Would it be mother dearest? She'd do something like this.

She probably wants me to sell the last house i have from my dad. Unfortunately, I sold the one in Paris and gave mom seventy-five percent of the profit. Then I sold the one in Florida because of Kyla. The house in Pennsylvania was mom mom D's. After I heard that brain cancer claimed her life, I swore that house will not be sold or rented. I wished I was there for her but I knew Ash and K-Man was there. I also know someone had put up a secruity system on the property. Not sure who but I have a good feeling they wanted the house secured.

"Davies, follow me."

I hate Fat Albert. Really that's his name. Poor soul was doomed in the beginning. He's getting impatient but do I care? No.

"Not until you tell me who can pull this off. Today is not a visiting day."

He just gave me a creepy smile. "Move your skinny tight ass or I'll be forced to throw you over my shoulder."

I decided to follow the fat bastard. He lead me to the offices which is not the normal protocol for visitors.

"This is not the way to the visiting room."

"You are smart."

I was beginning to get nervous but kept following.

I see the new doctor nervously approaching us.

"Sir, I can handle from here on. Thank you."

"OK ma'am, but if you need anything I'll be happy to assist."

I started making gagging noises. Doctor Tiny gave me a glare which wasn't new. Nobody likes me here so she wouldn't be any different.

"Can you at least TELL me who the fuck is here?"

Fat Albert gave me a warning look, Doctor Tiny puts her hand on my shoulder.

"Definitely not your mother. That's all I can say. Do you want to stand here and ask questions about the person behind that door or go find out who really persisted to see you without any creeps watching every move?" She gave a nod towards Fat Albert."Look, if it becomes too much to handle just tell me. I'll be next door doing some stupid paperwork."

I have this feeling that she may be different but I gave a defeated sigh.

"Let's get the persistent idiot out of the way so I can go back to doing meaningless shit."

I saw a flash of sadness in her hazel eyes but quickly masked it by her doctor face. She let go and pointed towards the door.

"When you ready, open the door."

Suddenly I became nervous. Who is even that persistent to see me like this? Looks like I need to see who it is. I let go of a long breath before opening the door. What do I see, an I-Pad sitting in front of an empty chair and across it was a study chair facing the opposite way. This looks weird. I decided to sit and look down. The I-Pad has something written on it.

I whispered the words as I read. "I promise to come back to take you away from here" My heart stopped. That is the exact promise I have made to my little sister. I saw the chair in front of me begin to turn until I saw the person. "A-ash?"

**A/N:So sorry about the long wait. Stuff happened and literately had major writers block. There's something I wanna address before ya'll review about Spencer being a virgin. Even though Carmen abused her in most ways but sexually no because Carmen did love her. I don't know how else to explain it to ya'll. Thanks for birthday wishes. I got my hair done, blonde highlights n bought myself an oreo blizzard cake. Ty 4 all reviews, messages, and alerts. Whose POV should I start with? Brooke? Ashley? or someone's else?**


	13. That

My heart literately broke when I heard Brooke whispering about what I had put on my I-Pad. I know it was a low blow to her, but when I heard what she said outside of the door it really stung and I couldn't just let that slide. So I quickly rethought my plan. Unfortunately, I didn't think how much pain it'd cause by hearing that promise from the person who broke it.

It took all the willpower that I had to not to curl up into a ball and cry. I took my time to turn the chair so I was facing towards the one person that literately didn't even care to come around.

"A-ash?"

There we were, staring at each others' identical brown eyes. What I saw had changed my approach.

"Yes B, it's me."

I assumed she could still understand me since she practically raised me the first six years of my life. Her eyes had so much pain and regret.

"H-how a-are you doing here? I never would of guessed that our grandparents would go all the way this time"

"Well, Brooke I GOTTEN MY BROTHER AND MYSELF AWAY FROM THE ABUSIVE FUCKERS. AND UNFORTUNATELY IT WASN'T SOON ENOUGH."

She was taken aback by my tone. "I'm sor-"

"No you are not fucking sorry BIG SIS. YOU SHOULD OF BEEN FUCKING THERE. I WENT THROUGH 11 YEARS OF VERBAL ABUSE AND 9 YEARS OF PHYSICAL ABUSE. I ENDURED IT TO SAVE OUR LITTLE BROTHER FROM THEM, BUT I DIDN'T HAVE ANYONE TO PROTECT ME."

Tears were falling down my face. "Ash, I'm so so sorry. I didn't know."

That pissed me off even more. "You knew about the verbal abuse. That was not enough for you to even come back home. You didn't care to come home when YOU WERE IN P.A ALMOST 9 YEARS AGO." She looked shocked. "Yea I know I have a niece and she's deaf. AND IT'S PRETTY FUCKED UP HOW KAYDEN AND I EVENTUALLY FOUND OUT ABOUT OUR NIECE."

My anger was getting the best of me. "Do you feel better now or is there more you want to yell about? If not, let me talk and you to listen."

I just took a couple of deep breaths. "Sorry but I'm nowhere near done. I'm the persistent idiot who wanted to see you, but I'll hear you out."

Amber Tiny came in. Yes, she's the same Amber who got me talking in Rehab in Pennsylvania. She took a look at both of us.

"Ashley I thought you said you would not yell at Brooke." I gave her a sorry look.

"No it's OK doc. It needed to be done."

She doesn't know that I personally know Amber.

"Well Brooke, if you say so. I need to run to the restroom and I wanted to remind Ashley that she only has three hours. So don't yell at your sister the whole time."

I nodded. I know what she expects to happen.

"OK be back in a dime." I laughed. Amber hasn't changed.

"A dime means ten minutes B."

"C ya soon." Amber walked out with Brooke looking more confused.

"How did you pull this off?"

"Let's just say I know some people and they want a dependable sponsor for you."

I didn't give them an answer yet because I don't even know that I can handle another responsibility. I'm not even eighteen yet, but I have a lot on my plate.

"Wait, in order for you to be a sponsor, you have to know about addiction." She looked at my face. "Please tell me you haven't." I looked straight in her eyes.

"Remember Dr. Fitch?"

"Of course, he is hot."

Oh great I forgot she likes him.

"Well sis, long story short. He had the fuckers' best interest over mine. After an incident when I was ten that put me in six month coma. He started me on Oxycontin and Morphine. That stuff helped when I endured the abuse. Nearly six years while I was taking them like it was prescribed until Kayden and I moved to my physical therapist's house before the court case. I stopped taking them. My body began to go through withdraws which Sara accused me of doing drugs but after I showed her my medicine bottles. I had to be convinced to go through rehab."

Brooke was looking pissed. "What incident?"

"Not important to talk about right now."

Brooke stared at my face. "OK, when did you give up hope?"

I don't know if this is the right time to tell her but she is the one who asked. I closed my eyes for a minute to gather the correct answer.

"I guess I started losing hope when I was laying on the floor black and blue for the first time when I was seven. So I completely had given up at age ten and made a promise to myself. I promised to give Kayden everything he deserves and get away from them. So I worked extra hard in P.T plus didn't let him give up his dreams. So yeah as you can see I followed through with my promise."

"Unfortunately at the expense of your own dreams." Where does she have a right to say that?

"Well our little brother is worth it and I would do it all over again for him. Apparently I wasn't worth it to you to keep your promise."

Her eyes started to tear up. I just couldn't look at her at that moment. I still blame her for not coming back. I'm sure she has her own reasons, but it was the solo fact that she never looked back that doesn't sit right with me. It never will. I took a deep breath.

"Look, I didn't mean to dump that on you. It wasn't my intention, but I'm not going to pretend that we are OK. Personally i think we are pretty far from it but I'm here to see my big sister who probably needs me more than the amount of resentment that I have."

Tears begun to fall down her face. "You have every right to think that and frankly I can't even argue with you because my actions spoke louder then my words, but YOU are everything to me and if by some miracle you would let me get in to your good book, I'll prove it to you. I don't want you to feel like you have to be here for me. I can get through it by myself."

"Trust me I am not doing it because of you. I am doing it because I need to for the sake of the family. I have got tons of questions, but today I need you to answer three. They will not be easy but I need to know these answers. Can you try to answer them?"

"Can you answer one first? And I'll answer the questions as the best I can."

This was too good to be true. I have to compromise. "Sounds reasonable but nothing about the incident please."

Brooke gave me a reassuring smile. The one that she always gave me when I was afraid doing something new. ugh, I'm supposed to be mad at her but I can't fight the urge to give her a smile back.

"It's probably going to be the easiest question you can answer. What are you doing in California?"

OK she's right. "Well Kay is a flipping genius. He graduated Avon Grove High School when he was fourteen. I convinced him to hold off applying to colleges for a year. Long story short, he chose to go UCLA, and there was no way I'd let him to go across the country without me. So we bought a loft on the beach." I couldn't stop smiling.

"Wow, that's awesome but is he ready for that kind of lifestyle?"

"Yes he is. I have trust in him. He is a very mature sixteen year old."

I don't know why but I started to get a feeling that she doesn't believe me.

"I can't say anything because you guys grew up to fucking fast and I wasn't there."

I took a breath. "What happened to you Brooke? You always kept your promises but the most important one you crushed, why?"

She gave me a look I have never seen on her face. It was full of pain.

"Christine happened."

I decided not to push but I'm going to keep asking questions but I reached across the desk and squeezed her hand.

"Do you know where she is? Kayden wants to know."

She looked into my eyes. "Probably in some country, fucking a billionaire. I haven't heard from her since she called me a stealing liar."

I saw Amber peeking in and mouthed 'everything OK?' I half smiled and she left. I am curious what happened between the two.

"Ash, I'm not ready to go in to that right now."

"I understand."

She gave a small smile. "OK what's the last question?"

Before I could answer, my phone went off making me jump. Brooke busted out laughing so hard while I was glaring at her.

"OK, you haven't grown out of that, but seriously your cell scared you? That's classic."

I heard another laughter from someoone else. "Sorry I just had to see what the unfamiliar sound coming out of this room was . Now I know why-"

Amber stopped because she wasn't sure I had told Brooke about her involvement in PA. My nickname was jumping bean in rehab. I guess it is due to C.P because I have some C.P friends and they jump too. I decided to check to see who had texted me. What I saw made me blush. How in the hell did she take that picture without me knowing? I am so going to be roommate-less. Yes, I'm going to murder Madison.

"Ash? Earth to Ash. Who is texting you that turned you as red as a tomato?"

"No-one who will live long." Brooke laughed and Amber shook her head and disappeared.

"She's a cool doc." I raised my eyebrows up.

"Then why are you stubborn towards her?"

She shrugged. "Just expect her to hate me like the rest."

I heard they are frustrated that Brooke keeps coming back. So I see my opening to ask this. I have some ideas as to why, but I need to hear it from her.

"Why are you here?"

I'm stepping into a tornado, I can see it in her eyes. She looked away.

"Because I am a junkie."

I reached for my crutches and stood up. My rib started to really hurt but I can't let it to get in the way. I see my sister wow that sorta feels good referring Brooke as my sister. Well anyways, I see her watching as I walked around the desk to the empty chair next to her. I reached for the I-Pad and go to the picture I want her to see.

"No you are hiding. This is your fifth time in less than two years. I am going to ask again and I want you to be honest. Why are you here?"

I handed the I-Pad to her. I know she needed to be pushed.

**BROOKE'S POV**

My sister isn't little anymore. Damn she has definitely grown up. Boy I wish I didn't set her off, but I can't say that she came to have a friendly visit. I deserved it and she needed to let it out. Hell even I call myself a selfish bitch. I don't know if I should tell her why I was in PA. Due to certain a reason, I know for a fact that she or Kayden will never talk me again. I am even lucky Ash is here, speaking to me. I watched when she reached for something, she looked like she was in pain. I realized that she was walking. My jaw dropped. Is it wrong how happy I am right now? I can't really explain the feeling of pride I feel but the thing is I had no part of it.

She handed the I-Pad to me. While she talked, I was staring at the picture she wanted me to see.

"What do you want me to say? That I can't be around my daughter without thinking of you and the only time I can silence the thoughts is when I'm drugged up on Heroin. Is that what you want to hear?" I just stared down at the picture.

"OK I'm going to say something. I'm here Brooke. I grew up but your daughter IS not me. Don't you remember I was the first one to find dad face down on the floor with the needle sticking out of his arm on my birthday? Kyla needs YOU Brooke. I can almost guarantee that she is thinking this is her fault."

I looked up to see Ash struggling to not falling apart.

I remembered that day so clearly. I was getting the presents out of the hiding place, I heard Ash's cheerful voice. "Daddy wake up." But her voice changed to panic. "Daddy, daddy, DADDY." I dropped the presents and went to living room to find Ash on the floor trying to wake up dad. I saw the letter sitting on the table. I went straight to my little sister and picked her up. I stopped Kayden from entering the living room. Ash was trying to get out of my arms to get to dad. "MOM,CALL 911 NOW." By the time, the EMTs came and carried dad out. Ash looked in my sad eyes. "Is daddy going to be OK?" "No Ash, he went to be with poppy." That day a part of Ash had closed off.

Doctor Tiny came in, took one look at Ash and she did something that I wasn't expecting. She hugged my sister.

"Ashley, maybe you should has been hard on both of you."

Ash looked at the I-Pad, I guess she needs it so I handed it to her. She is really quick on that thing.

**_"I guess you are right. Kayden is probably going nuts."_**

They don't seem strangers. "I'll leave you two to wrap up." Doctor Tiny walked out.

"So B, I am going to be back if it's OK with you."

Wow OK. I would of thought this is a one time thing.

"Yes Ash it's definitely OK with me if you want. No pressure."

Wow she gave me a real smile. "Hey sis, that promise I'm going to fillful even if you the one that made it."

I wanted to ask why but I got my answer though my little sister's eyes. She stood up and so did I. She's about same height.

"Ummmmmm, you're creeping me out by staring at me like that."

"Sorry, I just am amazed how much you have grown."

I so wanted hug her. She stabled herself and set her right crutch on the desk. To my surprise, she held out her right pinkie. I looked at it for a second before doing the Davies hug. We stayed there for few minutes. I had never realized that in some areas Ash was still that six year old girl until the moment we hugged. She leaned on me and released her left crutch and held onto me like I was her life savor.

I could feel my shoulder getting wet. "I'm so sorry Ash." I repeated those words until she loosen some.

"Promise that you won't disappear." I could hear how vulnerable my little sister really is.

"Ash, I can't make any promises right now, but don't worry I'm not going anywhere. Do you need to sit?"

I can feel her legs shaking. Doctor Tiny walked in with a kick ass power chair.

"Brooke, can you manage getting Ashley in here? I know Ashley you hate depending on others but your legs are spasming badly."

OK now I know they know each other.

Ashley looked up at my face. "Can you?" Her voice was tight and her legs looking like a salt shaker. I simply scooped her up and walked towards the power chair. Once I sat her down, she quickly got herself settled.

"Damn sis, you got a kick ass chair."

"Wait until you see my Hummer. Thanks for the help."

Wait she can drive too? I must of have had a strange look on my face because Doctor Tiny and Ash are laughing.

"Wait, you drove here in a Hummer or a driver drove you?"

That must be even funnier because Ashley was laughing even harder.

"OK OK Brooke, your sister drives. Your sister is very independent and amazing but she is even more hard headed than you are."

I saw Ashley gave her a glare while placing her crutches in their spots. I noticed something. Davies 143 is engraved on the side of chair. 143 was used as I love you. It was something I thought up before we all learned sign language. I is 1, LOVE is 4 and YOU is 3.

I knew Ash knows what I was thinking. "143 B. I gotta to go."

"143 Ash. Thanks for you know."

She just nodded while packing her I-Pad.

"May I ask what is 143?" Now Doctor Tiny looks confused.

"It means I love you."

Ash took one last look before leaving. I guess she still can't say goodbye.

"Doctor Tiny, can you do me a favor?"

"What?"

"Research a doctor for me. His name is Doctor Bryan Fitch. I can't do it myself in here."

"Don't think that is a good idea."

"Look, I need to know how the fuck he could be a doctor."

"I'll answer all your questions about him but you need give me something."

"What?"

"Three intense sessions no holding back then you can decide if you want to see me."

"OK starting tomorrow..." We shook on it.

**A/N: OK I know ya'll been itching for this chapter, I'm sorry this chapter was done two weeks ago but somethings happened and it got deleted. I was so pissed at myself for leaving my laptop untended. Well anyway I tried my best to rewrite it but I think it was better first time round but I try. With everything working against me, I had managed this. Remember Ashley is a 17 yr old who has alot of mood swings. Oh for those who curious about Spencer and Brooke. Just a hint, Spencer didn't give an answer to Kayden for a reason. Ok thanks for all reviews etc. **


	14. Can

While I'm at a red light, I hit play and turn up Eminem. I begin to sing.

"Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity. To seize everything you ever wanted in one moment. Would you capture it or just let it slip?"

I love this song. It's a great song. As I was jamming, my phone began to ring. So I pulled over on the side of road. There's no way in hell I would lose my life or kill someone else while on the phone and driving. I see who is calling.

"You better lose yourself in the music, the moment. You own it, you better never let it go. You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow. This opportunity comes once in a lifetime."

I heard chuckling on other end as I reluctantly turn Eminem down.

"So I guess you are jamming without me. Are you driving?"

I rolled my eyes.

"Have I ever driven and talked on the phone at the same time? What's up bro? Thought we agreed that I'd call you when I got home."

"OK, I know I asked a stupid question. Why does there need to be something up in order for me to call my lovely big sister?"

I laughed. "OK what did you do or what do you want? You're trying to butter me up."

I may be disabled but I am not a fool when Kayden gets like this.

"Geez, OK we are having a Davies fun night."

"And?"

"I invited a few people."

"So?"

He's nervous. "Well Glen and Kyla are coming."

I hung up. I cannot believe what he just said.

**SPENCER'S POV**

Kayden closed his cell, looking concerned.

"Kayden, why in the hell did you invite my brother and our niece without informing Ashley before hand?"

This is not good. Ashley just saw her sister today. The sister who never came back for her and Kayden. The sister who has an eight and three fourths year old daughter and neglected to tell them.

"Because she needs to meet them. They are family now and Ashley needs to deal with it."

"Oh my frigging god! You seriously think throwing Glen and Kyla down her throat on the same day that she goes to meet Brooke is a great idea. You ARE AN IDIOT."

Now I am pacing.

"Shit, I didn't think about that. I should cancel."

Of course he wasn't thinking.

"NO! You can't do that now because Kyla has never been invited to something like this outside the Carlin Clan. You better hope this will turn out OK or else I'll kill you myself."

Kayden tried to laugh.

"I'm serious. Kyla is not outgoing but when my bro called me telling me how excited Kyla is about being invited. I was actually happy but I did not know you invited them without talking to your sister first. What if she hurt-"

"Stop right there. Ashley may be pissed at me but I know Ashley would put aside her feelings and treat Kyla like she is no different. That is what our niece needs, someone who can show her that she's more than a deaf girl."

"I show her."

Kayden shook his head no. "You may show her but in her eyes, you're normal and you can't understand her feelings."

I was getting annoyed. He only knew Kyla two weeks and he acts like he knows what she needs.

"You don't know shit about Kyla."

"You are right but have you noticed the constant longing in her eyes or how she just stares and does not jump into conversation? God Spencer, I'm not saying you're not what Kyla needs but I'm saying she needs more than the Carlin Clan. Ya'll are doing a great job with her but you have to admit she has lived a sheltered life."

Before I could say anything, I heard the front door slam shut. Ashley came in looking pissed. Why is it that every time Kayden and I having a disagreement Ashley comes in at that exact moment? She was staring at me with daggers in her eyes. If looks could kill, I would be dead by now.

"OK I had nothing to do with your supposed to be a genius of brother's idea. So don't look at me like that."

Ashley turned towards the idiot.

"What time will MY NIECE BE HERE?"

Yep she's mad. Kayden backed up a bit.

"An hour or so. I'm sorry."

I guess this probably is a good time for me to go. I tried walking out but Ashley stopped me.

_**"Sorry Blue Eyes. Please don't go."**_

I wish she would finally realize I can understand her without sign language and the I-Pad.

"It's OK Ashley. You two need to talk."

Ashley shook her head no.

_**"Right now, I need to lay down and ice my rib and relax before Kyla and Glen show up. Bro, are you staying the night?"**_

"You in pain? Yes I'm staying the night if I am not dead by then."

_**"Yes, I just did too much too soon but it's not too bad. Just set the caption on the T.V. We need to make Kyla as comfortable as possible and no mentioning about my visit with Brooke while she's here. Got it?"**_

Kayden nodded. Ashley went to the freezer and grabbed three ice bags.

"Kay, did you get the stuff for tonight?"

Kayden chuckled. "Yea you should of seen the looks on the girls' faces when I showed them the list. They'll see you in your true form tonight."

Ashley gave him a look I can't place.

"OK, I'm going to lay down on the sofa for a bit."

Maybe I should follow, I need to apologize about earlier. Kayden was staring at me.

"You understood Ashley. Did you?"

I must of looked like a deer caught in headlights because he is smiling.

"You should tell her unless you're keeping it a secret."

I cleared my throat.

"I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Right.."

I decided to walk in the living room to see Ashley in her sports bra. She must be obsessed with the color blue. I see that she has a six pack. Stop Spencer, it's not a good time to think about how hot Ashley looks. I saw she was struggling with the towel. Her side still looks bad.

"Do you need some assistance with the ice bags?" Ashley just nodded. I kneeled in front of her. "Correct me if I'm wrong, OK?" She nodded. "Two go in back and one in the front."

Another nod. I placed the towel on top of her side. Maybe I should have Clay check it out. I realized Ashley is staring off into space, probably thinking about today.

"So I'm sorry." Ashley snapped back into reality. She tried reaching for her I-Pad but I stopped her. "Don't you remember that I understood you on the first day we met? Try talking to me with your voice."

Ashley looked nervous. I wondered why.  
>"I was hoping that was a fluke. People say when I cuss, I'm easy to understand."<p>

I laughed some. "OK why were you hoping that it was a fluke?"

"Because that means you understood what I told Kayden that night in the kitchen."

Oh, I know what she's talking about.

"OK even though I wondered what the incident was it is none of my business to even say anything about it."

Ashley looks uncomfortable. "Damn it."

Now I'm confused. "Sorry?"

"It's nothing. I'm getting sick of hearing that word coming out of your mouth. There's nothing you need to be sorry for yet. So stop saying sorry."

I looked down. "I'm sorry for the way I acted last night."

"Don't worry about it. It's not like you knew what you were saying."

Something tells me she is trying to prove she wasn't hurt that I was drunk or maybe drugged.

"Stop trying to be OK ."

"Who says I'm not OK? What the fuck do you want me to say? I'd figure you would just forget about it since you can't remember shit."

She grabbed her shirt, and removed the ice and towel.

"Who's the hottie sis?"

Ashley paled and I probably turned red as an apple. I see Ashley rushing to get her shirt on.

"Well this hottie is definitely off limits since she's Brooke's little sister Ashley."

Ashley's face turned red. Glen was grinning.

"I'm sure that's not the only reason you're off limits but anyways my sister neglected to introduce her hot big bro. So my name is Glen."

I hear Ashley laugh.

_**"Well at least you didn't fall on me before introducing yourself unlike your sister."**_

OK why in hell did she say that? Now Glen will never let me live it down.

"Oh really?"

Oh no he is using that voice. I better stop the chat before he tells her embarrassing stuff.

"OK, yes I had a blonde moment and stopped dead in front of her and she couldn't stop in time and crash into me and I laid on her lap, elbowed her in gut."

I hear a few different laughs besides Ashley's and Glen's.

"That is something I have to see."

By the time, everyone stopped laughing I realized that Ashley and Kyla were staring at each other.

"Hi, my name is A S H L E Y. What's yours?"

Kyla looks at Glen nervously. He just smiled and nods. She looked back at Ashley.

"Hi, My name is K Y L A. Ashley is my middle name."

Ashley smiled. "Well you must be cool because whoever named Ashley is really cool."

Kyla blushed. "Well I don't know if I'm cool or not. My mom named me after my uncle and aunt."

Everybody stayed silent.

"I highly doubt that you are not cool. Your uncle and aunt must be pretty special to have you named after them."

Ashley was getting Kyla comfortable somehow. I never seen Kyla interact like this before.

"Yes my mom tells me stories about them all the time."

I shot Glen a look. His mouth was open in amazement.

"Wanna see something cool?"

Kyla nodded. Ashley gave the biggest smile. She pushed a button in her pocket and her chair suddenly moves by itself. I quickly got up, giving Ashley a 'What the fuck' look. Of course she ignored me. She swung her feet panels away. I see curiosity in my niece's eyes. Kayden whispered in my ear.

"Now do you see what I mean?"

I just watched how Kyla focused intensely on Ashley's movements. Ashley slowly pivoted to her chair. I would feel eyes on me but I couldn't tear myself away from the scene. Kyla's eyes grew wide after she saw what is on the wheelchair. Ashley looked towards Glen like she was asking him something. I see my brother gave Ashley a nod. Kyla waved her hands in Ashley's face to get her attention.

"How did you get your wheelchair?"

"I got it custom built."

Kayden walked towards them.

"Sis, I think she figured it out."

"Let Kyla ask. She isn't incapable of asking. Little bro."

Everyone except me looks clueless. Ashley was still mad at her brother.

"OK but are WE ready?"

Ashley gave Kayden one look.

"You set this up so you didn't give a fuck if I was ready or not. Just step back and keep quiet or we'll have a bigger problem."

Since I was the only one who understood Ashley besides Kayden, I mouthed 'Explain later' to the others. Kayden backed up.

Kyla looks confused. "Are you mad?"

Ashley looked guilty at Kyla. "I'm not going to lie to you but yes I'm mad at my little brother."

"Why?"

"Because he doesn't think before acts and it frustrates me so bad."

"Are you like Aunt Spencer?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do you like like girls like Aunt Spencer?"

My jaw dropped and I hear some chuckling.

"Are you asking me if I am gay?"

"Yes."

Glen was staring at me.

"Well I'm not into labels."

She's so avoiding the question.

"I'm deaf not blind."

Ashley looked at me for a split second.

"Why are you asking?"

"Because grand mom said you are."

WHAT? Ashley's jaw tighten.

"OK. look Kyla, I cannot answer that question yet and as for your grand mom she does not know me. I promise I'll tell you when I know myself."

I could see Ashley wants to go to be alone.

"Can I ask another question?" Ashley just nodded. "Are you my aunt?"

Ashley simply held out a pinkie and Kyla looked at Ashley for a few minutes before doing the Davies' hug. I saw Glen walk out of the living room out of my corner of eye. Ashley noticed it too. She shot me a look to follow him. I nodded. I found Glen outside, staring at the ocean. I wrapped my arms around him from the back.

"Are you OK big bro?"

I feel him shaking.

"What is happening inside was overwhelming. I have never seen my little girl so I don't know what to call it."

I squeezed some.

"I know it's pretty amazing."

"Yeah but I'm scared also."

I noticed Glen acting weirder than usual over the past few weeks.

"Why?"

Glen let out a breath. "She is their blood. I'm scared that they'd want to take her from me. All she has from me is the last name."

He is now crying. I let go and got in front of him.

"Glen, Ashley and Kayden aren't going to do that. Kyla is YOUR daughter in every way that matters. She is a true Carlin and I'm sure Ashley and Kayden wouldn't want to rip Kyla away."

We heard someone clear their throat.

"Glen, look dude. Kyla is lucky to have you as her father. Ashley and I WILL never do that to you and Kyla. All we want is to be there for her. I know this is tough on you and trust me it's tough on us too. Ashley mostly because she is trying to handle everything regarding Brooke the only way she knows how."

Glen quickly wiped his eyes. "I know you won't believe me but if I would have known how bad the assholes were to Ashley, I would of gone straight to Pennsylvania and gotten you guys far away."

"It's not your place to say that. As far as I'm concerned, Brooke is the reason that Ashley is broken. Before you start defending Brooke, put yourself in Ashley's spot and having found out that your big sister decided that you were not worth it to even check on you and your little brother. On top of it, she started a fucking new life with a kid without you guys. As if that isn't enough, she's in rehab for same fucking drug that your dad whom you found dead on your sixth birthday purposely overdosed on."

Glen looked shocked so was I.

"Wait, did you just say that Ashley is the one that found your father?"

I stared into Kayden's brown eyes.

"Yes."

I can see the pain in his eyes. He turned towards Glen.

"This is why I sort of pushed you and Kyla down her throat because she needs you guys. And maybe Kyla can get Ashley to go out and eat without feeling uncomfortable."

**A/N:Hey ya'll, sorry for the wait. If you don't know what song Ashley was singing, I'll be shocked. Ok someone please share what they think what running thru Ashley's mind when she said Damn it. This is only a part of Fun night even tho it doesn't seem fun yet.**


	15. Be The

While everyone was laughing, my eyes connected with Kyla's. Automatically I knew what to say or to sign to make her feel a little more comfortable. Granted I am still pissed at Kayden because he knew this day is really emotional then adding more to it without talking to me first. It's a problem because he doesn't know how seeing Brooke went. What if I needed time? Or my anger gets the best of me while Kyla around? Ever since I got to LA, Kayden seems to do shit first than think about how it would effect me later. It's almost like he doesn't know me at all. Don't get me wrong, I know my brother's heart was in the right place, but going into my personal notebook then painting Blue Angelheart on the ceiling was only the beginning of events I wished he would of gotten my input on. I just don't know how much I can take before losing it. Which was why I practically warned him to back off.

I wasn't expecting Kyla to pick up that I'm mad. I had to think of a G rated way to explain why. I have to say the first five minutes Kyla was beginning to suspect that I'm her aunt. I saw it in her brown eyes, but I also knew she wasn't going to straight out ask which is odd. I only met her but it felt like I have known her all of her life. Boy, after she asked me if I am gay, I began to panic. At first, I thought Spencer had something to do with it but the look on her face proved me wrong. There was no way out of it. I answered the damn question as the best I could. She's definitely a Davies alright.

I noticed Glen had looked away when she asked if I was her aunt. I shot Spencer a look to follow him while Kyla was squeezing me to death. That kid is strong for an almost nine year old. Kayden spoke up.

"I'm going to get some air."

"Need some company dude?"

"Nah man. You can order the pizzas. The list is on the countertop."

He stared at me holding Kyla.

"We'll talk after Kyla leaves bro." He gives a small smile and left.

I realized I was left alone with Kyla. She lets go.

"So what do you want to do?" Suddenly I feel uneasy.

"Can we possibly talk?"

"OK what do you want to talk about?"

I am not used to having a kid interested in having a conversation with me.

"How about the Phillies choking in game five against a team that shouldn't be there?"

Oh that little brat. She had a huge smile.

"I strongly advise against talking about my boys like that."

"Or what? They suck."

The smile still plastered on her face.

"Kyla, this is your last warning."

She grabbed her throat and pretended to choke. This kid is nothing like Kayden says. Guess she is going learn the hard way. I grabbed her and begin the tickle attack. She is trying to get out of my grip. After five minutes, Madison comes in, looking amused.

"Ashley, stop picking on a kid half your age."

I let go. The little brat stuck her tongue out.

"She started it."

Madison laughed. "Kyla, what did you do to your aunt?"

"I may have said something about the chokers of baseball."

Now Madison was on the floor laughing her ass off.

"OK, why is my girlfriend on the floor laughing?"

Aiden looks clueless. After Madison calmed down some. "Aid, Kyla found something to annoy Ashley about until the season opener."

Poor guy looked even more clueless. Kyla grabbed her throat and pretended to choke.

"Oh you are a Yankees fan?"

What the fuck? Hell no. My face must of look funny because Kyla and Madison cracked up while Aiden looked lost. I let out an annoyed sigh. I feverishly shook my head no.

"Braves?"

OK this dude may have the looks but he should be a ditsy blonde like Jessica Simpson.

"Aid, have you forgotten Kayden bought a Cole Hamels jersey?"

Madison gotten off the floor and stood between me and Aiden. I think my face showed that Aiden would be in some serious pain.

"Yea Phillies choked badly. Charlie screwed up by not letting Worley start. Ashley, even you have to agree. Out of five games, only Hamels deserve the ace title."

The boy knows his sports and unfortunately he's right Even though Doc pitched okay in game one and even better in game five, but Hamels did better.

"OK, what was all the laughing about?"

The question came from behind me.

"Oh, your daughter found out what annoys Ashley already."

I heard laughter. I saw Kyla acting like she doesn't know what they were talking about. Why can I read this kid already? I turned and looked at my brother. Automatically I became concerned. He had been crying. I motioned towards the kitchen and his eyes darted to Kyla but I kept my ground. I needed to make sure he's OK. I grab my I-Pad.

_**"Hey Madison can you show the guests the place while I have a quick chat with my brother?"**_

Madison looked a little taken aback at first.

"Sure, if the pizza comes here is half of the cost."

She tried handing the money to one of us. Kayden step in.

"No, it's on us. Keep your money."

"Do you guys ever accept money?" Both of us gave the Davies smile.

"Well at least we are letting you pay for somethings since you are offically moving in."

"OK OK, you guys go and have your chat then we will get the Davies fun night started." She turned to Kyla. "Let's check out your crazy aunt's room first." Kyla seems excited.

I led Kayden to the kitchen. I grabbed two cups and pulled out milk and Hershey chocolate Syrup.

"So what do you want to talk about?" I thought before answering. I made him a not so chocolately milk.

"Why were you crying?" I cut to the serious stuff.

"Don't be mad at me but I was telling Spencer and Glen about dad."

I made me a ultra chocolately milk. I took a drink. "I am not mad. I know I may not be the best to talk about daddy to, but if you ever need to talk about him or even Christine, I'll listen."

I can't call Christine mom and I don't know if I will again.

"Ashley, we both know I can't do that to you but I wish it doesn't hurt so damn much still. And there's Brooke,I'm full of anger and unfortunately pain. I was alone when you were in a coma. You have got no idea how much I prayed for her to come and wake you up so I wouldn't be alone."

Shit, I didn't know about his feelings. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Kayden's eyes finally met mine. "Because I knew you rather never wake up than endure the life you had all because of me."

Oh no, he seriously believes what he said.

"Wow. Kay, do you believe I would leave you?" For some reason I already know the answer.

"Yes cause everyone leaves."

He looks so broken and I don't know how to fix this.

"Kay, I promise I would never leave you totally alone if I can help it. There will be a time I may move but I'll BE in your life. You got to believe me little brother."

He let out a sigh. "Don't make promises that you can't keep."

Damn it, this isn't going to be simple.

"Yea I know but this is me who has never given you a reason to doubt me. You don't have to add me to Brooke, dad and Christine. I'm sticking with you kiddo."

I could see a smile breaking out.

"Thanks sis."

I gave him a goofy face which made him laugh. "Now can we get this night rolling?"

I seriously need junk food. He gave me a challenging look. We both grabbed our cups.

"Three, two, one and go."

I downed mine in one breath while Kayden was drowning himself. It's funny that he knows he can't beat me.

"You OK?"

I knew he will blame the chocolate. "Yes. You added too much chocolate." Told you so.

"Yours was still white. I even had more milk in my cup."

We both were laughing until we heard the doorbell. Kayden ran to get it while I rinsed our cups. "ASHLEY, COME HERE." That's unlike Kayden to scream for me. I dried my hands and went to where Kayden was standing. I see a man in some kind cheap business suit.

"Are you Ashley Elizabeth Davies?"

I pulled out my I-Pad without breaking eye contact.

_**"Yes and who are you?"**_

"Mr. Santos wanted me personally to deliver this to you Miss Davies."

He handed me a box and a package. _**"OK, tell Mr. Santos, I'll get in contact with him in a week."**_

"OK, ma'am. Goodbye."

I just waved. I looked down in my lap. As soon he left, pizza guy began walking towards door.

"Kay, I'll be right back." He looked at me with a knowing look.

I saw the gang rushing down stairs. Spencer looked at me curiously. I just went in my room and closed my door.

"OK Orlando, what is so important that it had to be hand delivered?" Orlando Santos has only contacted me about thirty times since dad dumped Hold On Records on me. I was too young to even run a major company so Orlando took my place until I was old enough. I guess lately he is getting me involved more and more. I know he can't wait until I'm eighteen to finally retire. I just don't know what to do about it. On one hand, I can sell it and not worry about it. But on another hand, it's my dad's legacy and for some reason he chose me.

**SPENCER'S POV**

That's weird Ashley went straight in her room when the pizza got here.

"Kayden why did you get one extra large pizza and the rest larges?"

Nobody likes my pizza which is why I'm questioning the extra large.

"Well it seems like you and Ashley's favorite pizza is bacon, pepperoni and green pepper. I know my sister hasn't eaten with the day she had and I don't know how much you can eat. Does that answer your question?"

My jaw must be open because my brother closed it. "It looks like your sister and my sister have a lot in common. Tell me Ashley doesn't put Old Bay on it too."

Kayden looks shocked and pull out a container of Old Bay with Ashley's ONLY written on it.

"Unfortunately, this is Ashley's seasoning from the Gods. It grosses me out when she adds it to pretty much any food."

What the? I am staring at Ashley's door.

"Spencer, are you OK?"

"Yes, Mads I was just thinking."

"Maybe you should bring this to Ashley."

She handed me a plate with four slices and two orange sodas plus Old Bay. I raised my eyebrows. I know my best friend too well to know she is thinking up a plan that I should be afraid of.

"OK?"

Kayden walks towards me and talks quietly. "Look, I got a feeling that she needs a friend right now. She is dealing with a lot at the moment since she is not out of her room yet that means she is not OK."

I know he's right but why me.

"Just go to her or Kyla will suspect something is up."

I looked at Madison and Kayden. Are they doing this for another reason? I'll question it later.

I saw Glen smirking my way and Kyla giving me a questioning look. I looked at Kyla so she could read my lips. "I'm going to get Ashley out of her room, I'll be right back." That put a smile on her face.

I don't know if I should knock or just walk in like I did this morning. This girl is really getting to me like someone else once did. Carmen wasn't my first girlfriend like everybody believes. A lot of people will be hurt badly if they ever found out. Looking at it now, it was an experiment to HER and I was just a kid who thought that I was in love. Now, Ashley is bringing those feelings up in me but they are more intense. I have only known Ashley a month. OK OK, I need to stop thinking and knock on the damn door.

I knocked twice but got no answer. So I opened the door to see Ashley staring at the piece of paper in her hands. I closed the door. Ashley didn't show that she knew I was even in here.

"Ashley?"

No response. Something isn't right. This morning she could sense my presence without me saying a word and now I don't know. I placed everything on her desk.

I walked towards Ashley and placed my hand on her shoulder. She flinched and quickly looked at me with fear in her eyes.

"Ashley, it's me Spencer. I'm not going to hurt you."

Shit I forgot she doesn't like being touched without knowing.

"S-sorry Blue Ang- Eyes."

Did she almost call me Blue Angel? Wait a minute, at the club she told Kayden something about Blue Angel is real. OK OK Spence, so not the time to have a realization.

"Don't be sorry Ash-ley." I don't want to piss her off attention turned back to the piece of paper in her hand.

"My daddy was the best rocker in his time. He was a great crowd pleaser. HELL he was the ladies' man. But the one thing he wasn't good at." Tears were running down her face. I fought the urge to hug her. "Was being a dad to me. I remember how I envied Kayden and Brooke because they had our parents' love and attention." She crumbled the piece of paper and threw it down.

"He had the nerve to do this to me NOW." I just sat down on her bed. "He had the balls to write a FUCKING LETTER THE DAY BEFORE MY SIXTH BIRTHDAY." Her face is getting redder and redder by the second. I quickly texted Madison.

Get them out of house for a half an hour. -Spencer  
>Everything OK?-Madison<br>Just get out. TRUST ME.-Spencer  
>Kayden wants to know what the fuck got Ashley pissed.-Madison<br>TELL HIM HIS FUCKING FATHER WROTE HER A LETTER. NOW GET OUT.-Spencer

I can not imagine what Ashley must be feeling but I'll listen. "He never once showed that he cared while alive. Why write me this the day before he killed himself?" She picked the crumbled up letter and begun to read it over. "Dear Angelheart, You are probably reading this letter because I did what I had planned for tomorrow."

She stopped there and literately broke down. I couldn't sit there anymore. I slowly got the letter from her hands and placed it on the bed. I managed unbuckle her seat belt and she didn't fight me.

"I'm going to hold you."

I didn't wait for a response. I scooped her up and sat both of us on the bed. I could feel her body shaking as she cried.

I don't know how long we sat there but Kayden was coming in until he saw Ashley in my arms crying. He looked torn. He signed.

"Do you need help?"

I mouthed 'No. She's calming down now.'

His eyes landed on the letter but he quietly walked towards the desk and grab the two sodas and sat them on Ashley's wheelchair seat. He gave me a nod and walked out.

I felt Ashley's head move off my chest. I looked down to see her blood shot eyes. "Thanks."

I gave her a small smile. "Anytime."

"Mind, loosening your grip. I'm not going anywhere."

I didn't realized I was holding her tightly. I loosened up some. "Sorry."

"I guess I got a lot of explaining to do."

"No you don't. I'm sure everyone understands but I have a feeling you gotta to talk to Kyla whenever you are ready."

I see it hit her. "Oh man, are they still here?"

"No idea but maybe you should just relax." She was gonna to protest. "Look, you had a major break down. All I'm saying to give yourself time. I am sure that you're hungry, thirsty and drained."

Her eyes locked onto the letter. "You should read it to answer some of your questions."

"Are you sure?" She unwrapped herself from my arms and climbed off my lap.

"As sure as I can be." I picked it up the letter. "R-read it out loud please." The look she had given me broke my heart. I clear my throat.

"Dear Angelheart, You are probably reading this letter because I did what I had planned for tomorrow. I'm guessing that you are almost eighteen too." What kind of sick freak was Raife Davies? "I'm sure you hate me for what I had done on your sixth birthday and frankly I don't blame you. It wasn't like I was the father you needed. Let me explain why Christine never treated you like a daughter." I chanced sneaking a look towards Ashley.

She had tears running down her face. "Keep reading Blue Eyes." Is it wrong I love it when she calls me that?

"You are another woman's daughter. I had cheated with a struggling college student who worked at a strip joint called Hot Girls For You. Before you think that she's a whore, I swear that Elizabeth was not a whore nor did she know who I was. I fell in lust with her. We had an amazing weekend."

I am disgusted. I reached for a soda, offered it to Ashley first but she declined it. I opened the Sunkist, took a drink.

"She was a sweetheart. Her smile could brighten a cave. God only knew how much I regret breaking her heart. Seven months later, Elizabeth came to my concert, pregnant with you. I was a selfish man and refused her until she went into premature labor in my dressing room. Her best friend Paula Carlin was with her and delivered you."

I am fucking clueless right now and by the look on Ashley's face, I'm not only one.

"Are you ok? You can stop if you want?"

"Yea, I think I want to kick your dad's dead ass."

She smiled a little. "You are not the only one."

I absolutely don't know how Ashley is like she is with the fucked up past she has. I decided to finish the letter.

"I watched as Paula told your mom what to do. After ten minutes, you popped out looking really blue and wasn't crying. The EMTs weren't there yet so Paula ordered me to be with Liz while she did CPR I think. That woman was determined to bring you back to life. After five minutes, we heard your first cry. God it made me so happy. EMTs finally showed up. Few days later, DNA tests proved that you are my daughter and you have cerebral palsy. The doctors said you'll be a vegetable and retarded. Liz wanted me to take you and give you a life that she knew she couldn't give you. I tried offering her money but she refused to take it. So do not think she was looking for anything in return only one request. For you to keep the nickname Angelheart. It killed her to say goodbye to you. I brought you to Christine and Brooke. If it wasn't for your sister, you would of been in a special home. I always kept my distance because of Christine but I love you. I know you won't believe me. I'm sure you are wondering why I gave you the money and Hold On Records. All I can say, out of the three of the kids, you got the love for music. I heard you on your fifth birthday. I heard you playing on my piano. You were playing Hold On. You didn't know I was watching you. Ashley, I should of been the one to teach you about music, but I was beyond messed up. I know you'll be great in anything you choose. Don't let anyone kill your dreams cause honey you are going to prove everyone wrong. Love Daddy. P.S Go to Orlando for the file of your mother."

Well that letter just a mind blower to me. I don't even know what to say.

"How am I going to tell my brother that I'm his half sister?"

Her eyes were pleading for an answer.

"I can't tell you how, only you know."

"So not what I wanted to hear."

She reached in her pocket and I see her chair moving.

"That little stunt you did wasn't cool. Almost gave me a heart attack."

She chuckled. "Your face was so worth it. You thought my chair was going run you over."

I could tell the mood was lightening up.

"What else can it do?"

Ashley scooted to edge of bed and moved the unopened soda. "Well Blue Eyes, you got to wait and see." She quickly transferred to her chair.

"Do you mind if I eat my two slices of pizza?"

She looked confused so I pointed where I put the pizza.

"That's why you came in? You wanted to eat with me?" I simply nodded. "Oh OK, let me go to the bathroom then maybe we can eat cold pizza."

She doesn't look too comfortable saying that. Honestly I am kinda surprised that she said we. Kayden says she doesn't eat around others because to her she thinks everyone would be grossed out.

I took the opportunity to prepare my two slices of pizza with Old Bay.

"Watch it Blue Eyes. That stuff is not something you'd add for a newbie."

I raised my eye brows. Ashley doesn't know who she is calling a newbie.

"Really?"

I'm coating my slices like always.

"Yeppers."

I took a bite of my pizza. "SHIT SHIT HOT HOT." Ashley was laughing so hard. I downed the rest of soda.

"Told you so newbie."

She was still laughing.

"What the fuck is this stuff? This is NOT Old Bay."

Ashley is still laughing her ass off. If my mouth was not on fire, I would be happy that she is laughing.

"It was my mom mom's special Old Bay. She used to make it from the scratch. She taught me how before she had died." Her smile fell for a minute but it was back. "Next time you should listen."

She grabbed the other slice that I covered. "Stop being a Smart Ass."

"Well at least this ass is smart." She took a big bite out of pizza. No fucking clue how she can eat that stuff.

Ashley looked curious. "Do you trust me?"

I got caught off guard with the question. I just nodded. She placed down the slice and reach for the special Old Bay and the untouched slice of pizza, sprinkled some Old Bay on it. Ashley moved forward so she is within a foot in my space. She held it to my mouth. My tongue was telling me HELL NO but all I could think Ashley is this close. So I opened my mouth and she smiled. As I took a bite of pizza, she just stared. It was really good. Even better than store bought Old Bay.

"Wow, that's good."

She laughed some. "You just added way too much for your first time."

"Can I ask you something?"

Ashley looks nervous but she slowly nods her head.

"How would you feel if we go to the Music Cafe after our first PT session next week?"

She was giving me an uncomfortable vibe.

"I don't know."

Think Spence think. "Madison is coming too."

OK technically Madison doesn't know yet. Ashley looked even more uncomfortable.

"You really want me to go?"

"Honestly yes." What? I cannot lie when she's looking in my eyes like that.

"Why? And good try pulling the Madison card."

This girl is making things tough on me.

"Cause I know you'll love it. Come on, think about it. I'm sure Madison would like to come."

"OK."

"OK what?"

She gave me a smile. "Just OK."

**A/N:Bet nobody had given thought of why did Paula gotten in touch with Sarah so quickly in chapter 2. I know Y'all were waiting so long for an update and I'm sorry. I hope you guys enjoy. Thanks N.L for the Hold on records.**


	16. One For You

I asked Blue Angel to get Kyla in here. I knew what I needed to do. I quickly punched in the code to turn the camera on. I feel a pair of eyes on me. I turned around to see my niece standing in my doorway alone. Which I was happy about because I think Kyla would somewhat feel more comfortable if we talked alone.

"Hey. Aunt Spencer said you wanted to talk to me."

Kyla looked guilty and almost scared to walk closer. Honestly I don't blame her. I gave her a smile to try breaking the weirdness.

"Hey, come in and sit on my bed."

I should have waited to open up that letter. Mr. Santos is going to be getting a visit soon, but right now I need to focus on Kyla. Damn, she is a spitting image of me when I was younger. She looked unsure but sat on the end of my bed.

"Did I upset you? I didn't mean too."

I moved closer to my bed to Kyla so I can look straight into Kyla's face while I sign.

"No no no, you absolutely did nothing wrong to upset me. I'm sorry for being a bad hostess tonight. I am happy that we have gotten the chance to meet."

Kyla began to cry. I hate myself. I grabbed a tissue for her.

"Please don't leave me like my mommy did."

I was confused so I decided to ask.

"What makes you think I'll leave you like your mommy?"

She observed my face for few minutes. Her eyes held so much emotion.

"Because everytime she left, her eyes were red like yours."

"OK, I understand. Kyla I am not leaving you. I just met you and you already got a hold on me. You do know we need to get to know each other. If I leave now, how am I supposed to get to know my brat of niece?"

I heard laughter. I knew they would be watching my room which was why I turned on the camera for Glen's benefit. Kyla gave me a glare.

"I'm not a brat. You are the crazy aunt that is obsessed with Buffy."

OK, she got me there. I heard someone yell. "SHE LOVES JUSTIN BIEBER." Oh boy, not my niece too.

"Well at least she's not a poser unlike the Beaver boy."

The look she gave, had sent chills down my spine. Yep, she knows what I was talking about. I held in my laughter as Kyla keep on staring at me.

"First of all, his name is Justin Bieber not Beaver. Second of all, my husband is not a poser!"  
>I bust out laughing.<p>

"How do you know? Where's the ring? Did you two have a wedding?"

"Yes in my dreams."

I couldn't stop laughing. WHACK, she hit me with a pillow. How the hell did I not see that? Kyla had the biggest grin on her face. Good that she's smiling.

"OK OK, Mrs. Beaver let's go and get the real fun started."

She tried hitting me again but I blocked it. For an eight year old she's strong. I patted my lap. Her eyes lit up. I helped her onto my lap. I turned on my chair before I wrapped my arms around her waist. I think she took the hint. I see her right hand slowly reaching for my joystick. I heard a few whispers. I waited until Kyla pushed forward then stop every few feet until she got confident in herself. I held my breath. I know this could be bad, letting my deaf niece control my wheelchair but I trust her to not wreck it I think.

As soon we get to my doorway, there were flashes going off. How in the hell did they get cameras so fast?

"OK OK, guys give it a rest."

Leave it to Blue Angel to step in. She gave me a big smile. Glen cleared his throat which led to Blue Angel punching him in the gut. Apparently Kyla doesn't like her daddy getting hurt because she flew off my lap and tackled her aunt to the ground.

"Damn, she is definitely Brooke's daughter."

"Yea, and apparently our niece."

Kayden looked at me worried. I can't say I blame him.

"Don't worry bro, I'm OK. I'm so exhausted and it's not even eight yet."

Kayden chuckled. "Talk tomorrow OK?"

"Thanks bro."

Aiden keeps staring at me with a look that creeps me out. I should tell him that I remember who exactly he is and if he doesn't want anyone knowing, keep his fucking eyes to himself. Madison smacked him hard. I wonder why Kayden hadn't noticed who Aiden was. It took me a few days to figure why Aiden looks so familiar and plus Madison told me his last name. Maybe I should ask Kayden if there is anyway that he can add a voice activation feature to both of my rooms' cameras. Just to be on the safe side.

"OUCH! WHAT THE HELL?"

"You know why I smacked you asshole."

I decided to rampage the Twizzlers while everyone's preoccupied. My cell vibrated.

Hey, how are you? -Amber  
>I don't know. You tell me how am I. -Ashley<br>I couldn't tell you that Brooke is my patient. You know that. -Amber  
>No, this is not about Brooke. You just dumped me off to a POS sponsor without telling me why. I didn't even know where you moved. I thought we were friends. Pretty messed up finding out that you're my half-sister's doctor. -Ashley<br>I can explain why I did it that way. Wait you know that she's your half sister? -Amber  
>Yes our father was kind enough to write a letter. -Ashley<br>Shit, Ashley I'm sorry. Do you need to talk? -Amber  
>Wait you knew? -Ashley<br>I can explain. -Amber  
>NO. I'm going to go. BYE. -Ashley<p>

I turned my cell off and tossed it on counter. I can't believe this. I went to the freezer and got Turkey Hill's Gram Slam ice cream. I grabbed a spoon and the Twizzlers. As I was just about to dive in, Kayden walked in.

"Sis, why do you always insist eating ice cream from the carton?"

"Bro, let me just enjoy this."

Kayden stared at me for a moment before pulling a chair and got a spoon. He started diving in. He got the hint that I wasn't in the mood for his jokes.

"Kay, is it possible to somehow add a voice activation feature to my bedroom and creativity room?"

Kayden looked at me, trying to read my face. "Why?"

"Just be on safe side. What ifs are running through my head. Can it be done?"

"Tomorrow, I can ask my roommate. He should know. I assume that you would like it added. Right?"

I am glad he didn't press for more info.

"Yes please."

"OK big sis." After a few bites. "You know Spencer deserves to know. Right?"

"Kay, I'm not ready to go down that road yet. I need to figure shit out with everything."

"Are you um attracted?"\

I know what he was asking plus he looks slightly uncomfortable.

"I think so but it's not just that. She makes me feel at peace whenever she is around."

I waited for what seemed like forever for a response from my brother.

"Good taste and don't put it last on your list because she won't be on the market for long. Man, I wish she plays for my team."

I playfully punched his arm. He was laughing.

"Are you sure that you would be okay with this?"

"Ashley, I meant what I said upstairs a few weeks ago. As long as you are happy, I don't care but you need to talk about it with her maybe she can give you some insight on what is running thru that brain of yours."

I gave him an appreciated smile. We ate few more bites until Kyla came running in. Kayden just chuckled. I see Kyla grabbing a spoon and stole my comfort food out of my hands. She is so not on my best list. Kayden probably is going pee his pants from laughing. I had to remind myself that Kyla is just a kid.

"Was I interrupting something?"

That little brat knew what she is doing.

"Didn't your parents teach you that it's not nice taking food without asking?"

Kyla smiled big. "Technically, ice cream isn't a food."

I glared at the eight year old girl. Hey, don't judge. You would do the same if she did it to you.

"Kyla, please return your aunt's ice cream to her before she goes crazy. Trust me I remember this one time that she lost it with a shopper for cutting in front of her and took the last carton of that type of ice cream."

Kyla quickly slides the carton towards me. I cannot believe he told her that. It was true but poor kid is looking worried. The others decided to join us in the kitchen except Andrew oops Aiden.

"Wow chica, are you against bowls?"

I looked down and just dug in.

"Madison, here's the Ashley who doesn't care as long as she eats her ice cream."

Everyone laughed but I just focused on the yummy ice cream and hope they wouldn't find me disgusting. I feel a tap on my shoulder. It was Kyla. It was like she looking right through me.

"Why do you look uncomfortable?"

I quickly wiped my chin and racked my brain for the right answer. Kayden and the rest grew silent. I took a deep breath before signing the answer.

"I don't feel comfortable eating in front of people." Before Kyla could ask why, I decide to just be honest. "Because I'm messy and I know it looks gross."

I chanced a look at the quiet group and instead seeing disgust, I saw sadness. Glen walked to where Kyla was standing then knelt down so he was at my eye level. Glen tapped his lips to show Kyla that he wants her read his lips.

"Ashley, you do not ever need to worry about grossing anyone out in your house or anywhere else. I don't see what's so gross about you eating. If anyone has a problem with it, then it's their problem. They can look away."

His eyes held so much sincerity in them. I would've been a fool if I didn't believe him.

"Thank you."

Glen gave me a mischievous look. I had a feeling he is going to either do something or say something crazy.

"Besides my sis thinks it's adorable."

"GLEN, I AM GOING TO MURDER YOU!"

Glen quickly got up and ran out while Spencer was chasing him. I shook my head at the two.

"Alrighty then. Kyla, since your aunt and dad are acting like kids. What would you like to do?"

Kyla laughed. Madison and Kayden were laughing at the two Carlins.

"Do you guys own Nightmare On Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors?"

My jaw dropped. Did my niece just ask for a Freddy Krueger movie?

"Yes but aren't you a bit young for it?"

"I have been watching it forever. I love it."

I smiled big because I actually love that movie also. Not because of the killing, I like the idea of falling asleep and having abilities in dreams.

"If your dad says yes then I'll put it on."

I decided to stop the chaos between brother and sister. Why am I the one? Because my bro and Madison are encouraging the two. I went into the living room and saw Blue Eyes having Glen in a choke hold. Remind me to not piss her off anytime soon. I whistled loudly. Everyone froze. I had a stern look on my face. I pulled my I-Pad out. I gave Kyla Twizzlers and pointed to the kitchen. She gave the four people an 'OOh you are all in trouble' look then ran into the kitchen.

_**"Care to explain what kind of example are you setting for an eight year old by wrestling all because of a joke?"**_

"No es una broma."

"MADISON!"

Blue Angel got up and looked like she was ready to kill. I don't know for sure but I think Madison just said it's not a joke or something. The latina just ignored the glare from the blonde, redirected her attention to me.

"Sorry but the Carlins do this all of the time, especially with these two."

Madison pointed towards the two, one is smiling and the other looks embarrassed. Kayden decided to go into the kitchen with Kyla. The thought of Brooke pop in my head.

"Ashley, are you ok?"

I must of zoned out because Glen was in front of me, waving his hands in my face.

_**"Yea, sorry. I zoned out for a minute but can I ask something?"**_

"Sure."

_**"Did Brooke let Kyla watch Dream Warriors?"**_

Glen chuckled."Yes she started when Kyla was a year old, claiming she is not going to raise a scaredy cat like my little sister here."

I had to laugh because Glen ended up on the floor again.

_**"OK OK Blue Eyes leave your poor big brother alone and Glen stop picking on your little scaredy cat."**_

Glen burst out laughing along with Madison.

"Ha ha funny. I just don't like scary movies."

I just laughed. I am definitely going to regret this when I start P.T next week but oh well I'm enjoying seeing Blue Angel like this.

_**"Sorry but I told Kyla if her dad says yes, I would put it on. Since you all were too busy acting like children, I asked Kyla what she wanted to do. So Glen, can I put it on?"**_

"Yes but does your T. closed caption feature?"

I held a finger up to tell them wait a minute. I quickly searched for the remote. Once I found it, I checked to see if Kayden had already set it up. Apparently he had forgotten. I quickly scrolled through the settings and found the close caption menu then tossed it to Glen. I rushed to my part of the DVD stand. Just say Kayden and I have different taste in movies. I found the DVD.

"Damn girl, I didn't know that we have another DVD stand."

I just simply handed my treasure to Madison. Hey now I absolutely love Freddy Krueger. I even own the sorry excuse of the remake. Robert Englund shouldn't be replaced. It was so wrong. I'm wishing that they won't try remake any more of the series. If they want to remake a movie that is a classic then they are idiots. Hell only Rob Zombie's version of Halloween franchise is pretty good.

_**"Sorry, usually nobody likes my kind of movies except my sis."**_

I rushed towards the kitchen before anyone could comment. I saw Kyla making I don't know what but by the look on Kayden's face, he is going to have to taste it. I put my I-Pad away and pulled out the popcorn box. I see Kayden slightly grossed out. I tapped Kyla so I can sign.

"What are you making?"

I slid the popcorn packs to Kayden. He knew what to do.

"Well it's called Kyla's surprise."

She signed that like I was an idiot.

"OK what's in it?"

I got a familiar feeling but I focused on my niece. I knew if I looked back, I would see Spencer. Kyla spooned whatever she made and held it in front of my face. I am definitely afraid. I see Spencer grabbing a cup and pour something in.

"You are going to need this newbie."

I almost hear the smug in her voice. Before I open my mouth, I took some time to examine what's on the tablespoon. I couldn't identify anything. It looked like puke. So I close my eyes and open my mouth for Kyla. I immediately wanted to spit it out but I couldn't. I swallowed the stuff my niece made and put a fake smile on my face for few seconds before downed whatever in the cup.

"You are the second one that managed to swallow it."

I gave Kyla a curious look.

"I am the second. who is the first?"

"My mommy."

"Well now you can tell your mommy that she's not the only one." I heard the microwave go off. "Can you tell your dad that it's almost ready?"

"Sure."

Once Kyla left, I let my head fall to the table.

"You OK sis?"

"Yes, we really need to help Brooke badly. Kyla needs her mother."

"Ashley, I know. We'll talk tomorrow. You are running on no sleep over the last 40 hours."

I knew he knows there's a lot of stuff that he would find out tomorrow. I just don't know how he is going to handle it. We heard someone clear their throat. Crap I had totally forgotten that Blue Angel was in the kitchen.

"Sorry to interrupt but Glen can get real impatient fast."

Both of us gave her a nod. I sat back up. Spencer saw I slightly grimaced. She frowned for a second before replacing it with a smile. God only knows how much I want something stronger than Tylenol but it's a bit dangerous. Trust me I know. I went to refrigerator and grabbed a half gallon of fruit punch. Pulled a black sharpie out and wrote letter A on the lid. Madison made a rule that if anyone drinks from gallon, write on the lid. I hear Blue Angel laugh some.

"I can't have Mads repeating the rule again."

I reached for my cell but Spencer beat me to it.

"I know. She is weird with germs. I think your cell has died."

She handed me my cell. Something weird happened. By the way Spencer jumped back, I know she felt it too. Only way I can explain it, you know the 9 volt batteries you put on your tongue and it shocks your tongue when you were little? Well same feeling happened when our fingers touched for a split second. OK OK I need to get out of here before my lovely brother catches it.

"I turned it off."

I see Kayden quickly turn to give me a curious look. He knows I barely ever turned my cell off and when I am really messed up in my head. I just put everything in my lap and went into the living room.

Kyla was on Glen's lap. They are sitting on the couch. Madison was texting in the Love seat that she brought with her when she officially moved in sometime today. She was the first person to notice me.

"Chica, you look like you are going to pass out real soon."

I emptied my lap and pulled out my I-Pad because I don't want Kyla to know.

_**"Yea, I am having the longest eventful two days ever. I want to go bed but I don't want to make Kyla feel like I am ditching this."**_

"How about I lay out a blanket on the floor so you won't be ditching us?"

I gave her an appreciated smile and a nod. Madison disappeared. Kyla was looking at my I-Pad curiously. I waved her over. I sign.

"This is a way I talk to people that don't understand me. Wanna to try?"

"How?"

I handed it to her with the app already loaded.

"Type whatever you want then in the right corner press speak."

Glen is looking really interested watching Kyla type. I am wondering what she would type.

_**"I love you Aunt Ashley."**_

That sentence wasn't what I was expected. I must of have had the biggest smile on my face because both of them were smiling the same smiles.

"I love you too."

She gave her dad the look. You know the one where kids want something.

"Someday little one. Put that look away."

I chuckled. I could see the love between the two. I wouldn't know that Glen isn't Kyla's biological father if Spencer didn't say anything. I am glad that Brooke met the Carlins. I doubt there would be anyone else who loves Kyla like Glen does. He's an amazing dad to her.

Kayden whispered "Beast called and told me to tell you to call her tomorrow."

I nodded."When Mads gets back with the blanket, I am going to need help getting down. I had outdone my body today. I am drained and not just physically."

"Today was your first day, you used your crutches since you know what. I am surprised that you haven't collapsed yet."

"Me too bro me too."

Madison finally came back along with Blue Angel. Man it still hasn't hit me how bold I was getting her to take a bite out of the pizza. I shook the thoughts out of my head. I caught Glen with a knowing smile at me. I quickly looked at Kyla helping the two girls. Kayden watched too.

"OK, sis how do you want to do this?"

"Can you do bridal style? Not real confident in my legs at the moment."

"OK, this is rare even for you but maybe it would be smoother if Glen helps."

"Yes."

As Kayden explained what he wants Glen to do, I see Kyla telling the two girls how cool I am.

"You ready?"

I nodded at both of the boys. I am a little embarrassed for asking for help but I knew I didn't have any energy left in me and could possibly hurt myself. Glen got my right side and Kayden the left side. I took a deep breath before they lift. Once I am down, Spencer joined me claiming I looked lonely but I soon found out she covered her head under the blanket every time Freddy appears on T.V. I was finding it funny until I noticed how scared she is. Somewhere in my weirdo of mind, told me to hold her hand. So I uncovered her head and grab her left hand. Damn, the shocks returned but neither of us let go.

"Don't be afraid, I got you."

She gave me a smile. I felt someone throw popcorn at my face. I turned my head to see Kayden giving me thumbs up. I mouthed 'Stop.' I saw Nancy get stabbed by Freddy. I could feel Blue Angel shaking. Next thing I did shocked us both. I pulled us closer and wrapped my arms around her like it was the most natural thing. I should be caring that others were staring at us but at that very moment I didn't give a fuck. this felt nice. I closed my eyes.

**A/N: Sorry for not updating in like forever. I couldn't get my head clear enough to write. I was going to post an author note chapter but I hate those when others do it. OK, my proofreader couldn't understand this chapter so she didn't do much. If you all don't get this please be honest. If I have to, I'll rewrite this but tbh I don't see anything wrong. ****Anyway, Chapter 17 is going to give you some insight to the incident that put Ashley into a coma when she was 10 and some more Spashleyness. Chapter 18-20 will be focus on the Davies. I know it seems taking Ashley and Spencer forever but truthfully I am liking the build up.**


	17. Period

**NOBODY'S POV/ ALMOST 8 YEARS EARLIER/ASHLEY'S NIGHTMARE / WARNING NOT GOOD**

A ten year old Ashley is pushing herself home from the bus stop. She is upset that her P.T had to cancel due she caught the flu. Kayden had baseball practice also. Ashley is slowly pushing towards her personal hell, praying that her grandparents weren't there.

By the time the little girl got to the house, she couldn't see any cars. Little did Ashley know her happiness will be short live. Once she got into the house, her bladder is full and the only bathroom in the house is upstairs. Keeping what Sara has taught her. The confident girl believes that she could make it upstairs by herself.

It took Ashley awhile to make it to twelvth step until she heard heavy footsteps coming towards her. Fear crept up in her because there was nowhere to hide on the steps. Once Rick Woods saw Ashley standing there on the steps. A creepy smile is on his old face. Ashley is shaking. She knows what is in store for her.

"Hey Retard, fancy that we have the house alone."

Now Ashley's legs are spasming and holding on for dear life.

"Please let let me to to sit."

Fear is evident in the little girl's voice. Rick is loving every second of it.

"What Retard? I believe you said you want to suck this again."

Ashley feels pee running down her legs.

"N-no."

Rick just laughed.

"You have two choices, 1, shove all ten inches of this down your fucking throat. 2, I beat you until you realize you want this in your dirty mouth. You decide."

Rick pulls down his underwear thinking Ashley would choose the first like before, but only thing he forgot about is using Kayden's name.

"Second, good luck not to wear your weak butt out."

Ashley became a punching bag for few moments. She had a tight grip on the rails.

"You ungrateful RETARD. GIVE IN TO YOUR DESIRES."

"I'LL NEVER PUT YOUR PENIS IN MY MOUTH AGAIN."

That is when the final punches connected on top her hands that are gripping onto steps rails. She couldn't hold on any longer. Rick watch as Ashley's head smashed into bottom of steps. An angelic voice came to Ashley's ears.

"ASHLEY, IF YOU HEAR MY VOICE WAKE UP. HE CAN'T HURT YOU."

**SPENCER'S POV**

"Sis, wake up."

Kayden is trying to wake Ashley out of her horiifying nightmare. I just stood there in complete shock. We were sleeping then I got woke up by Ashley's crying and shaking. Kayden woke up and rushed to her. I got out of the way. Luckily Glen and Kyla went home or this would scare Kyla.

"I'LL NEVER PUT YOUR PENIS IN MY MOUTH AGAIN."

What the fuck? Please don't let that to be real. Kayden is in tears now. I decided I need to help Kayden to wake the shaking Ashley. I knelt down and quietly yell in her ear.

"ASHLEY, IF YOU HEAR MY VOICE WAKE UP. HE CAN'T HURT YOU."

I repeated it three times til Ashley woke up, having a panick attack.

"Sis, we are in LA. He is not here."

Ashley quickly looked around in fear.

"A-are y-you sure?"

"Yes Ashley I swear to god he is not here or he would be DEAD."

Madison came running down stairs with a bat. When she saw the Davies silbings crying, she put the bat down and mouthed 'Kitchen now.' I took one more look at the two before getting up. As I walked into the kitchen, I held a finger up to tell Madison I need a minute. I began to pace.

"I think their fucking grandfather molested Ashley."

Tears suddenly running down my face.

"Tell me that can't be true."

"Well she screamed 'I'll never put your penis in my mouth again' in her sleep. When she woke up, she had a panick attack. Kayden had to reassure her that he is not here."

I was still pacing.

"Fuck! I'll kill that sick fuck. No wonder why Ashley doesn't feel comfortable with Aiden around."

I stopped and think.

"She is the same with Patrick the Prick but she's ok with dad and my brothers."

"Yes probably because they don't look at Ashley like she is a playboy bunny."

Thanks Madison for the visuals. So not good time to picture.

"This is going to be a fucking bomb exploding up in Brooke's face when everything is out in the open."

And in my face if I keep getting close with Ashley and keeping the big secert.

"Spence, what do you mean by that?"

Madison looked straight in my eyes.

"Brooke had the chance to get her sister and brother from them people but she fucking didn't. As that wasn't enough, she never once mention that she has a sister and brother."

I left out Brooke knows about Ashley's biologial mother because it's not my place to tell her.

"I am sure she has her reasons."

Before I can respond, Kayden came in with his eyes red and puffy.

"She's in her room."

His voice sounds so broken. I really want to ask if he knew what the nightmare was. but I decided not to.

"How are you?"

Stupid question I know but it's only thing I could think of.

"Not good. Ashley is having nightmares about the past and there's nothing that I can do to take her pain away. It was me he wanted but my sis took my place. Why didn't she just let him do it to me than going through it herself?"

"Because you are her little brother. She needed to protect you even if she took your place. I don't think Ashley wants you to blame yourself for whatever they did to her because she did what she had to do to protect you."

"Spencer is right Kayden. I know it's killing you that you couldn't do anything but look at it from Ashley's point of view. She would of die if she let anything to happen to you. I saw her face when she saw blood on you at the mall. I could tell she wanted to find Carmen and kill her. That there told me Ashley would do anything to protect you. Don't blame yourself, blame your mother for leaving you guys, blame the sick fucks for doing those things, hell even blame Brooke for not coming back. You are not the blame."

I just stared at Kayden. I saw anger flash into his eyes when Madison mentioned Brooke's name. Madison could see it too.

"You girls are right." His hands are in fists. "My sis has done everything that Brooke didn't. Ashley has never once complained, she always put my life before hers."

I got a feeling when Ashley tells him about the letter, he will probably freak out on Brooke. By the way his body language when talking about Brooke. I could see the anger he has towards her. Ashley is different, whenever she talks about Brooke, I see the sadness.

"I can't say I blame Ashley." Two pairs of eyes looked at me in shock. "From everything I found out about Ashley, Kayden you are her reason in everything she does."

That's when he finally relax.

"Thanks for helping me to wake her up."

"No problem. How is she?"

"I'm not sure. Once she realized that they are not here. She calmed down some. Maybe you should check on her to ease your mind."

Wait what?

"He's right. Go and see for yourself how she is really. If you don't, you'll be up and worrying the rest of the night."

I just nodded. There is no sense in trying to deny it when they are right.

"Besides I am pretty sure you can ease her mind too. She kinda worried what are you thinking about what you heard. Just don't ask her what the nightmare was about please. It's too soon."

I understood what Kayden was saying but I need to ask one thing.

"Is it true?"

"Unfortunately yes. I did not know until a few weeks ago. If I had, I would of murder him."

"OK, thank you for answering it. I'll go and check on the strongest girl I ever met."

He gave me a small smile. I got a bottle of water and G2, just in case she's thristy. Madison stopped me and gave me a hug. She whispered."Stop thinking. Just be an amazing friend that I know you are."

I squeezed and gave her an appreciated smile. She knows me to well. I left the kitchen and stared at the spot that Ashley and me were laying. She is definitely a sweet and beautiful girl. What is she doing to me that sends shocks throughout my body everytime we touch?  
>I heard someone clear their throat. I jumped and almost fall flat on my ass but I landed in someone's lap. I heard her laugh.<p>

"We have to stop meeting like this even though you love falling for oops on me."

I got off her lap.

"Sorry but you shouldn't sneak up on me."

I turned around to take a look at her face. Even though she was smiling but her eyes told another story.

"Technically I wasn't sneaking, considering you were standing in front of my bedroom door. I was heading to the kitchen to get a drink but a blonde was staring off in La La Land."

"Haha sorry about that. Would this clench your thirst?"

I held G2 up to see her face light up.

"It would. Are you planning to stay?"

"Yes I vaguely remember you saying you will protect me from Freddy."

I was going to say monsters but I thought it would trigger something bad in Ashley's head.

"Oh that's right. I can't leave you defenseless."

Her smile dropped for few seconds. I would give anything to see what's she thinking.

"I'll see if Mads have anything for me to wear."

Ashley just laughed.

"Blue Eyes, you seem to be forgetting something. You have been wearing my clothes since last night." I looked down to see that Ashley was telling the truth. How did I forget? My face is probably red right now. "I don't mind to let you borrow my clothes but if you feel more comfortable asking Madison for something. I understand."

I shook my head no. "If it's cool with you, can I borrow your clothes?"

Ashley rolled her eyes.

"Didn't I just say I don't mind? If you want that mini skirt I wore at Ego, you can keep it."

Something tells me she has other motives than just get rid of the skirt by that smile.

"OK OK I get it. Let's go in your room so I can get out of these clothes." Wait did I see Ashley blushed? I think I just did. I just said. OH CRAP. It came out wrong. "That is in a totally innocent way unless."  
>"Don't finish that sentence."<p>

She grabbed the G2 out of my hand and opened it avoiding any eye contact. I could see she got redder. I just smirked.

"Besides you saw what is beneathed these clothes last night."

She nearly drop her G2. It took her few minutes to recover.

"And what I saw wasn't interesting. I have seen better."

"So you have looked?"

"Maybe or maybe not. I may just be pulling your leg."

She yawned and turned around and headed in her room.

"You are the first person that claimed what you saw wasn't interesting."

I see Ashley rushed to her desk and quickly close a notebook. I see a lot notebooks and had an urge to take a peek in a green notebook titled BROOKE this morning but I remembered Mads telling me Ashley's notebooks are off limits.

"You were drunk and umm horny. All I wanted was to get you changed into something comfortable. I didn't exactly take an advantage of it. Do you remember anything yet?"

"No I wish I did though. Mads thinks someone slipped something into my drink, but It doesn't excuse what I did."

"Drugged or not, it doesn't explain why you were drinking in the first place." She went to her dresser. "Pants or shorts to sleep in?"

She was waiting on my answer.

"Shorts would be would be OK."

I see her opening her bottom drawer.

"Phillies, Steelers, Mickey Mouse or Stewie?"

I laughed a bit as I saw a drawer full of various shorts.

"I guess Stewie."

She just smiled and tossed a pair of Stewie shorts with a black t-shirt to me.

"You are lucky that most of my clothes are a size and a half bigger than my actual size."

I just laughed and went into bathroom to see she hadn't thrown the toothbrush away that I used this morning. I quickly changed and brush my teeth. I went out and found Ashley doing some stretching that I assume her P.T in PA had shown her. She was wearing Joe Boxer pajamas pants and a DMX concert shirt. Wow I didn't know she is into rap.

"You do know you are doing them half ass. Right?"

"Yes Blue Eyes I know, but since i bruised my rib I barely can do any of my normal exercises. Who would of thought bruised ribs are hell."

She sounded annoyed.

"Wanna try something I think you can do without hurting yourself?"

"Free advice or do I need pay for it?"

"Shut up, I start Monday and you'll be regreting what you did earlier. Your legs won't get any work if you keep doing that."

"OK, show me Carlin."

I grabbed a sheet and knelt down next to Ashley. I tied the sheet to Ashley's right foot.  
>"Not too tight?" She shook her head no. "Hold this in your left hand and when you're ready, I want you lean back and hold onto sheet for five seconds." She looked at me like I was crazy. "Start slow since your legs are probably not used to this." She rolled her eyes and flopped down. She immediately regretted it."I know Sara has taught you better than just flop down like that. Your leg is feeling the stretch. Right?"<p>

After five seconds, she gently released the sheet.

"You are right. Sara would have a fit if she saw that. But how did you know about sheet trick?"

"Honestly it just came to me when I saw you down here looking like you were hurting. I just figured it would work."

"Carlin, you are good when you just go for it. No second guessing when we are actually working because I really need your best."

My mind went back to that first meeting with Paula and Ashley. I had my mini freak out and Ashley put me back in my place.

"That's a lot faith you have in a college student here."

She smiled a real smile.

"Everyone need a jump start, but to be honest, before the sheet trick I was starting to wonder if I made a right decision to agree to having you as my P.T, but I have a feeling you would be good."

"OK, I don't know about you but I'm beat."

I wasn't sure if Ashley would want to be alone but I wasn't leaving until she asked me to.

"Would you mind sleeping in here?"

She looked away and sat up. Untying the sheet. I stood up.

"Do you want me to?"  
>"Yes I kind of don't want to be alone not after." She closed her eyes and took a couple deep breaths. "After what you witnessed out there."<p>

"OK, where should I sleep? Floor?"

Ashley opened her eyes. They were full of questions. I know she was expecting a lot of questions about what I had witnessed. Even though I am dying to ask, but I can tell she's not in the mood to answer. Ashley climbed up onto her queen sized bed. It's pretty low to the ground.

"My bed is big enough to share but keep your hands to yourself. Granted drunk Spencer thought my body was very touchable."

Her face had gotten really red. I was pretty sure mine was the same color.

"Sorry again."

I really need to remember what the fuck I did last night.

"You need to stop apologizing and climb in here and get comfortable."

She yawned again which made me yawn also.

"OK boss."Ashley laughed.

"So does that mean you would do anything for me?"

I just gave her the Carlin smile and climbed in the bed. Once I was under the blanket. Ashley turned off the light. Her ceiling transformed into a galaxy.

"Wow, that is awesome."

"Back in PA, I used to go outside and stare up into the stars with Haley. We made it a nightly routine. Those nights I found myself at peace. So Kayden thought having my own personal galaxy would benefit me."

"Haley sounds interesting."

Ashley yawned again. "Yes she is interesting. She is the only one that stuck with me at school.

Good night Spence."

"Good night Ash."

**A/N:So yes the nightmare was really uncomfortable to write. Honestly I didn't plan to add molestation to the list but it came to me as I write. If anyone is offended by it, I'm sorry in advance. I wanted to give y'all some sort of background story of the incident that put Ashley in a coma. It'll be explain more in later chapters. And for those who caught Andrew/Aiden twist, here's a clue. Reread Chapter 3 where Kayden and Ashley talked upstairs. That's all I'm saying for now. This update may be the last for awhile because I am going to start online courses real soon and I typed with one finger.**


	18. You May

It is eight o'clock in the morning and I'm wide awake with a blonde sleeping on my chest. Somehow she moved her head on my chest sometime during the night. Funny thing is I had been up for a hour now, feeling like some sort of creep. I couldn't help myself, but to stare at her beautiful face. Man what was that last night? Was she flirting with me? Heck was I flirting? I seriously have no freaking clue what to think nor was I ready to deal with whatever this might be.

I feel Spencer starting to wake up. I quickly closed my eyes, trying to act like I was asleep until I felt Blue Angel touching my abs. I don't know if she was asleep or what but it was making my body feel things I had never experienced before.

"Oh god. what was I doing? This is not good, I can't have Ashley waking up to me on top of her like this."

Blue Angel rolled over. Whoa I immediately missed the warmth of her body. Things had just gotten even more confusing for me. My heart begun to feel like it was a cheetah. I opened my eyes.

"Good morning Blue Ang- Eyes."

Great, I almost slipped again. I stretched out my body.

"Good morning Ash. How did you sleep?"

"Not bad and you? Was the Buffy pillow not comfy for you?"

Couldn't help myself. Her face got red in an instant.

"I don't know how to answer that."

"Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, the best I have slept in awhile."

"That's good."

I reached for my shoes and put them on.

"It's eight fifteen and you are getting up?" Spencer for some reason looks like she's shocked that I'm getting up. I gave her a confused look. "I mean oh nevermind just forget I asked."

"OK it's way too early for me to try to figure you out. To answer your question, yes I'm getting up because I got to have a talk with my brother before he has to go back to campus at one. Speaking of college, when do you have class?"

I just realized that she hasn't really talked about college. She took a breath and glances at my alarm clock for a split second.

"Today is Wednesday the 15th of October right?" I nodded. "Well I got a class at noon and at three. Which means I need to head out around tenish."

I rolled to the edge of my bed and sat up so I could get my feet planted on the floor. I just realized I forgot to set either my chair or crutches up last night. I fall backwards.

"Can't believe I had forgotten my nightly routine because a beautiful blonde is in my room."

"Who? Buffy?"

FML! That wasn't meant to be said out loud.

"Yes yes I totally meant Buffy. It's not that I don't think you are beautiful and all because you're definitely beautiful but I need to shut up now."

Blue Angel was looking at me with an odd look like she was trying to figure something out.

"Well what did you forget?"

Thank god she didn't comment on my little ramble.

"I'm embarrassed to admit that I had forgotten to put either my crutches or my chair close to my bed."

"That is embarassing. Looks like you have to do extra work this morning."

She headed into the bathroom and shut the door. Seriously I think it was a fucking P.T trick. OK I was onto what Spencer's intentions were. I sat back up and looked in my nightstand for Tylenol and put it on my bed. Just in case I may need to take one. Then I climbed down to the floor.

Surprisingly my rib wasn't really hurting. I got onto my stomach and began moving towards my destination. I found this way is easier on me even though it takes a lot of energy out of me, but I like the work. Once I got to my wheelchair, I hear the bathroom door opening. I saw Blue Angel debating whether or not to offer me some help or just stand there and watch.

"Don't stare at me like that please. I can do this on my own."

" I am sorry I just find you to be such a unique person who happens to have Cerebral Palsy."

I sighed. "Just because I can do a lot more than most can do, doesn't make me unique. I had friends who are like me envy my process over the years. I wasn't any different from them, but it was hard for them to see how therapy worked for me better than it has for them, So the more thoughtful I was, whenever I was around them the more I held back just how much progress I have made. Eventually they stopped including me in everything all because I was a constant reminder of what they were desperate to become. I understood but it definitely felt like even the disabled people don't like me."

I couldn't look at her because I don't need her to feel sorry for me. Why is she so easy to talk to?

"Ash, look at me please." I rolled on my back and propped my head up. "OK, what I am about to say may sound insensitive towards the ones you were talking about, but they were selfish." I started to get mad. "So fucking what that you had a better success in therapy. That didn't give them the right to basically stone you for it. They probably expected shit to happen overnight. And you ARE unique not because of what you can do."

Someone knocked on my door. It was my brother.

"Do I even want to know why my sister on the floor with her head propped on a foot plate?"

Spencer still staring intensely in my eyes.

"Probably not little bro. You made breakfast?"

Kayden chuckled. "Of course I did. So get your lazy ass off the floor so we all can eat."

I broke the intense eye contact from those blue eyes to glare at a smiling Kayden.

"Give me ten minutes. I seriously still think that chick knocked her stupidity in you if you still smiling like the Joker."

Kayden opened then closed his mouth. I gave him a 'don't you dare' look. His eyes landed on Blue Angel.

"I almost forgot the real reason why I came in to tell you Spencer that Madison washed and folded your clothes. She wants you to come and get them out of her room. And Ashley I made your favorite so I suggest you hurry up before we decide to eat it all."

I quickly sat up. Kayden chuckled, knowing how I would react.

"OK OK guys get out of my room and I'll be out soon."

Both of them were laughing while walking out. I had to set my focus onto the task of getting into my chair. It's not so easy to do when Blue Angel was in here. Man, can I get any more confused? I shook the thoughts out of my head for the time being. I swung my foot pedal to the side but before I climb up into my chair, I took a look around then a thought came to me.

I quickly made my way back to my bed and reached under it to get the thing I needed. As my eyes landed on the rusted mini locked toolbox, the memories flooded my mind. I placed the toolbox onto my bed so it would be where I can reach while I am up. I grabbed my Ja Rule shirt and changed into it. My rib is holding up fine but I'll see how it can handle me climbing into my chair.

Once I got into my chair, I made my way to my dresser to get a hair tie. I was putting my hair up in a pony tail, Madison came in.

"Sorry your brother sent me in to hurry you up." I gave her an amused smile. Her eyes were looking everywhere. "Apparently he didn't get the memo that a girl needs some extra time in the morning." Her eyes landed on the toolbox. "Are you planning to fix something?"

I pulled out my I-Pad.

_**"You could say that I'm going to be fixing something or try to. Let's go before Kayden's boxers or whatever goes higher up his ass."**_

It took Madison a minute to get what I just said.

"Good one but I'm a little concerned that you know what your brother wears."

I laughed and punched in what i have to say.

_**"Well I just assumed that he wears boxers but don't you quote me on it because he's weird and may wear thongs for all I know."**_

OK OK that was too weird for me to say. Madison just looked at the toolbox. I could see the wheels turning in her head. I turned my wheelchair on and started to head out.

"Ashley." I stopped moving. Madison's voice sounded odd. I turned around and looked at the Latina. "You know if you ever need to talk about anything, you can talk to me right?"

I know what she was trying to ask.

_**"Yes I know. Trust me when I say I can trust you. I'm not a big fan of talking about me, but when the time comes and I would need to talk. I know that I can go to you and you would listen."**_

"OK was just checking."

She headed to the kitchen and we heard Kayden telling Spencer that I need to know. Madison and I looked at each other confused. What do I need to know? Before Spencer could respond, Kayden noticed that they were not alone and quickly grabbed two plates.

"It is about time. I thought I would have to call the fire company and get them to pull you out of your room."

I rolled my eyes. The delicious smell put a smile on my face. I hear the three talking about Kayden's amazing cooking. I went to the refrigerator and spotted the best syrup in the universe. I grabbed it and closed the refrigerator. The three were too engrossed in their conversation to notice I made it to the table.

"Yes Grandma Davies taught us how to cook, but I think Ashley is better with the desserts than I am."

I just sat there and listened to my brother talk about the greatest cook that the world ever had. I really miss mom mom D. I should tell Brooke if she is ever thinking about selling that house, to come to me first. Mike told me she already sold two out of the three houses that she inherited from dad. I don't blame her but I am seriously praying she wouldn't sell mom mom's house. That house held the best memories of this family.

"What are you thinking?"

Her blue eyes focused onto mine. If Blue Angel wasn't looking at me, I wouldn't of known that she was asking me.

"Just the past."

Kayden had to translate to Madison. I know she feels horrible for not understanding me like Kayden and Spencer.

"So sis, are you ready to eat?"

I feverishly nodded my head. All three laughed. The girls were looking at the syrup weird.

"Chica, do you need me to get milk for you?"

I just shook my head no. The girls looked even more confused. I just laughed and pulled out my I-Pad so Madison could understand me since she was the one who asked.

_**"I love Hershey's chocolate syrup on my chocolate chip French toast."**_

The confused looks turned into disgusting looks.

"Yea my sister is grossed out with maple syrup but yet she loves maple sausages. She is a weird one."

I gave my brother a look that made him hurry up with the yummy food.

_**"I just don't like the texture of it."**_

"You are really odd but lucky for you I hang with odd people. Look at Spencer, she names her car and instruments ,but I still hang with her."

"Hey now, they are my babies. At least I don't name my period Bloody Martha."

"OK there is a guy in the room that would appreciate if you girls don't ever bring the p word up when I am around."

I sat there laughing. My brother's face was pale and Madison's face was bright red. Spencer moved out of Madison's reach. I don't think Spencer moved enough from the way Madison was glaring at the blonde. I decided to defuse the tension.

_**"So Madison, do you work today?"**_

Madison looked at me with a weird look.

"No, I have off."

_**"OK, do you have any plans like about two thirty?"**_

"Nothing important. Why?"

_**"Well I was hoping if you want to tag along with me when I go to King High to enroll and maybe you can show me around Los Angeles cause I haven't seen what it has."**_

"Sure but I thought Kayden said you were going to get your GED instead."

All a sudden, I had three pairs of eyes of me. I became slightly uncomfortable.

_**"I want to experience the high school life and meet people. A GED can't offer me that."**_

"But sis, I know how it was at Avon Grove. Are you sure you want to go through that again, but without Haley?"

I looked down. What my brother was referring to, he was right to be worried.

"Kayden, I think what Ashley is trying to say that she needs to do something so she can be normal. Sure GED would be easier and shelter her but that is what Ashley is avoiding."

I looked at Spencer, wondering how did she know. Kayden placed a plate in front of me.

"Spencer, you don't know what she had been through at Avon Grove."

"Well Kayden, this is her life and if she wants to have the high school experience then she should go for it."

"And Kayden, this isn't Avon Grove. Ashley is going to be a senior and that is a big advantage at King High. I understand what you're saying, but you should be more supportive than bringing the past up."

I could see what the girls said got to Kayden. I knew he would react like this which was why he didn't know about my plan until now. I just hope he understands why I need to do this. The three realized I haven't said a word since Kayden asked me that.

"Sis, I am sorry."

_**"Don't be bro. I get it, but to answer your question. Yes I am sure even though it will be rough without Hales but I can do this."**_

He gave me a small smile. I returned it. I finally looked down at my plate. What I saw, made me smile big. Kayden made me Mickey Mouse shaped chocolate chip French toast with sausage as eyes nose and moutth. Only mom mom made it like this. I quickly wiped my eyes. Kayden squeezed my shoulder to let me know that he knows what was running through my head.

"I know it's not like grandma's but I tried. I hope you'll like it."

I tore my eyes away from the plate and look at my brother.

"I am sure I will love it. Thank you."

I have the best little brother in the world. Too bad that things may change after the talk. Just hope he would not look at me differently since I'm his half sister. I am actually terrified that he would change but this can't be kept from him. Our family had enough lies and I refuse to keep this from him.

"You're welcome and now dig in."

Spencer's eyes caught my eyes while I was putting Hershey's syrup on my yummy food. I could tell she wanted to ask something but I don't think she wanted Kayden and Madison to hear. So I pulled out my cell and hid it under the table.

Ask what you want. -Ashley

Spencer's text tone was Paperbag by Anna Nalick. She looked confused.

"That's new. Whose text is set to that song?"

She quickly looked over to Madison.

"Just a new friend."

She quickly texted back. I freaking jumped and Kayden was looking at me oddly. My cell was in a spot that I shouldn't have it while on vibrate. I was not brilliant placing it between my legs. Apparently Spencer realized what happened because she was fucking smirking. I looked down.

How did you know that I wanted to ask something? Well anyways are you sure that you are ready to tell Kayden? -Spencer

"A new friend? Who? A friend that maybe become something more?"

I immediately coughed after the last question Madison asked Spencer. I shyly looked down and poured some more syrup on Mickey Mouse. I knew I looked suspicious but I didn't care. As I enjoyed my breakfast. I listened to how Madison tried to get Spencer to spill.

"Kayden, mind if we talk outside?"

He took a second before giving the answer, I knew he would give me.

"No I don't mind. I just need to borrow one of your hoodies."

I took my last bite and downed the orange juice before washing my dishes.

"OK I'll grab you one. I am going to go outside now and come when you are done eating."

"Sure."

I gave Kayden a grin hoping to calm my nerves down. i looked at Spencer and gave her a slight nod. I went to my room and grabbed two black hoodies and the letter. I put a hoodie on and went towards the door. I put the extra hoodie on the staircase so Kayden would find it. I pulled out my Phillies sunglasses and put them on.

I opened the door and took a breathe. I love the ocean as much as stars. I could remember a time when dad took us Hawaii when I was 5. That was when I first fell inlove with the ocean. I raised my chair up some so sand wouldn't get into my battery. As I was searching for a good spot, a golden retriever ran up to me. I heard who I think is it's owner, calling for it. I figured I would keep the dog still by petting it. A few minutes later, the owner caught up.

"I'm sorry about Buddy here. I was trying to train him without the leash."

I pulled out my I-Pad.

_**"It is all good." **_I took a look at the guy for the first time. He looked like one of those underwear models. In other words HOT. Buddy barked and snapped me out of staring. _**"My name is Ashley. What is your name?"**_

Apparently I was not only one who was staring.

"My name is Leonardo but I go by Leo. I haven't seen you around, are you here on a vacation?"

_**"No, I moved here from Pennsylvania about a month ago."**_

He just smiled.

"That is interesting. Well Buddy and I have to run. I hope I see you around."

Part of me felt disappointed but I petted Buddy.

_**"Alright, I'll see you around hopefully."**_

He made an odd noise and Buddy went straight to Leo's side and signed 'to the car'. I am guessing Leo was training Buddy to be a helper to someone with a disability. That little piece of information made me really happy. He reached into his pocket and pulled out an business card. Leo was searching for something after few seconds, he found a marker. He quickly wrote something on the back of the card.

"This is my parents' business but on the back of the card is my email and number. If you want, you can email or text."

KAYDEN'S POV

"Kayden, what are you staring at?"

"I think my sister is making a new friend."

Madison looked at the direction I was staring at. Ashley was talking to a guy with a dog. She seemed to be enjoying the two.

"Damn a hot guy too."

"WHAT?"

Whoa, where did Spencer come from? She pushed Madison and me out of the way to see what we were talking about. Wait, the guy gave my sister something. As Spencer sees this, her face fell. Oh boy, Madison was right about Spencer liking Ashley.

"Damn, how in the hell did she do that? That guy looks like he walked out of a hot romantic book."

Leave it to Madison to make things even more uncomfortable.

"Shut up Madison."

Spencer sounded upset.

"Whoa Chica, I am just stating the obvious. The guy is hot and Ashley is talking to him."

OK that was my cue to leave the two friends alone. I didn't need to know another secret that I can't tell my sister. i walked towards the door and spotted a black hoodie on the staircase. Ashley always watched out for me. I wish she didn't but I now understand why. She wanted me to have a good childhood even if it cost her to loose hers. I saw the guy and the dog had jogged away from Ashley. She turned towards the ocean and put whatever the guy gave her in her pocket. I walked behind her.

"It's beautiful out here.'

"Yes it is. I still can't believe you chose UCLA over the other two."

"Sis, I wanted to go somewhere that you would love."

It was true, her eyes had lit up when I got an acceptance letter to UCLA. Immediately I knew which Unversity I would choose. Ashley was very vague on giving me any opinion on the subject. She claimed that she would not influence my decision. Something about it wasn't her decision to make.

"Kayden I would love anywhere as long as you are happy."

Ashley made it very clear she was not going to stay in Pennsylvania without me. I can't say I would have left her there.

"So are we going to talk about our long lost sister?"

She sighed. I had a feeling Ashley was trying to figure out how to not piss me off.

"Yes but can you not get overly pissed until the end of the conversation? I know you aren't a fan of hers and at the moment I'm not either."

Her voice told me that there was something huge. i walked in front of her and sat indian style so we can talk face to face.

"I can't control my anger towards a sister that didn't give a shit

about us but I can try to keep it on the low."

Ashley looked a bit nervous.

"Well that is all I can ask. I have to warn you, you're going to snap

and just remember nothing is going to change between you and me. Well I

hope not anyway."

She said the last bit in a whisper. I was really worried. Ashley didn't

look like the usual brave one. What got her saying that?

"Sis, you're freaking me out now."

"I'm sorry bro. I am just screwed up in my head about everything."

Her eyes looked real tortured. Now I know there had to be something

huge that she is dreading telling me.

"Talk about it and don't worry about me."

"OK, I guess I should start by saying Amber is Brooke's doctor."

"Wait what the?"

This got to be a fucking joke. Ashley trusted that bitch then she got screwed by the bitch dropping off the radar. It took Ashley two months to go back to normal.

"Yes I had the same thought when I first saw her."

"You had no idea about Amber?"

"No I had to go through higher people to get approved for an unscheduled visit. If I knew about Doctor Tiny, I wouldn't have gone by myself. I was prepared for Brooke but Amber sort of threw me for a loop."

She saw my hands forming into fists. I took a few minutes to gather my composer before saying anything. What Amber did was become someone that Ashley could depend on, then disappeared without a goodbye. That had hurt my sister badly.

"I don't have anything positive to say about that tiny bitch."

"Yeah I figured by your fists. I haven't dealt with that yet because Brooke was on my urgent to deal with list."

I relaxed some but a thought came to me.

"Did she know? Do you know if she had told Brooke?"

**A/N: Hey guys, I am sorry for the long wait. My life is nuts and lately it seems like I am on an emotionally roller coaster ride. Yeah it's effecting my ability to write. Don't worry this story will not be unfinish. Well I need you guys help for chapter 21 or 22, I need suggestions to where Madison take Ashley. What do you think about Leo? I know I would need to describe him but I figure I'll hold it until Ashley calls Haley. Thanks for the reviews/adds/readers. You all rock...**


	19. Not

**_A/N: Oh boy, how many of you are mad at me? Look I am really sorry. My life had been 1 major roller coaster ride. Short version my bro screwed me over badly and I have been dealing alot with my mom plus I think I lost my BFF so writing had been hell. I was tempted to write an Author's note to explain but I hate it when I get email saying there's a new chapter only to find out it's an Author's note. So I can't do it to y'all._  
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**_About this chapter, you may have to reread Kayden's POV in the previous chapter. Also keep Rule 3 from chapter shit hits the fan, we both have to trust each other. Meaning there's nothing you could do to disappoint me unless you keep things from me or are dishonest. In mind while reading this._**

**_Next chapter is going to be a filler and will explain somethings from previous chapters and it will be up soon. I am sorry again._**

**KAYDEN'S POV**

After I asked the two questions, I regretted them immediately. Ashley's face showed the raw emotion.

"Yes somehow Amber figured out that Brooke was in California and she just dropped everything and got here. I would like to think that Amber would not betray my trust but I don't know."

I hated seeing my sister so torn up. I should of made her let me tag along, but Ashley was stubborn. I had to think before speaking the next sentence because the way my sister is, she doesn't like telling me things because my anger can get out of hand.

"I am sure she won't do that to you.I bet she wanted to figure Brooke out first."

I can't believe I just said that. Ashley looked shocked. Well maybe she was expecting me to freak out. She decided to get down on the sand with me. She sat with her legs stretched out. Something Sara always told Ashley to do instead of sitting in a W position. The W position is where you are sitting with your legs under you, but your butt is on the floor and it looks like a W. It's bad for the legs. I didn't know this until Ashley started P.T. That was how Ashley got around, hopping like a bunny while in the W position. I remembered how hard it was for Ashley to break out of the habit. She wasn't a fan of wheelchairs when she was younger.

"Thanks for the attempt, but I strongly doubt that Amber would keep what I confided quiet if she thinks it will help her to gain Brooke's trust."

"I am sorry sis. I wish I know what to say to make this go away."

"I know bro." We heard a door slammed behind us. I turned and saw the blonde running towards her car. "Okay why does Spencer looks annoyed?"

I am pretty sure I knew why.

"Madison was getting on her nerves before I came out here."

Please let that be the end of it.

"About what?"

Dammit

"About the dude that you were talking to."

Ashley's face immediately turned bright red. Wait my sister was blushing over a guy. This is a new thing. I haven't really teased my sister about Spencer that much because well Ashley is seriously not ready to come to terms with what she feels. I wonder if this dude is going to be a problem for mission Spashley. At first, I thought Madison was insane thinking that Ashley and Spencer secretly liked each other and she said it was our duty to push them together. I told her I would help, but I am not going to spy.

"In Madison's words, he stepped from a hot romantic book."

Ashley leaned back and covered her face.

"I can't believe that you guys saw Leo."

OK, this was totally unusual for my sister acting like a teenager girl. She is one, but she acts so much older.

"Leo? Do I get my chance to give one of those hurt my sister and I will kill you speeches finally?"

"Kay, I have only known him for a few minutes. Don't you dare try the speech. I doubt you can beat him up."

I could tell she was smiling.

"Yet you didn't give me a reason to not think this guy is different."

"What are you saying?"

I just chuckled.

"Ashley and Leo sitting under a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G."

I couldn't finish because of the punch I had coming.

"You are a jerk."

"And it feels so good sis."

Boy, I have definitely got to meet this Leo guy. The way Ashley was acting is different.

"Can we finish talking about Brooke and stuff before the questions about Leo?"

"Yea even though I doubt you would tell me much about Leo anyway."

Her eyes shifted to the ocean. I know she was thinking about what to say.

" Do you remember how I told you that I was getting an unscheduled visit?" I nodded. I knew she saw me out of the corner of her eye. "Well I made it clear to the personnel to not tell her who was visiting her except they could tell her it was not Christine."

When she said Christine's name, her tone turned to pure anger.

"You were too kind. I would have made the personnel tell her that mom was the one who was there."

She took a quick glance at me.

"I don't think I was nice. Brooke was being a bitch to Amber and Fat Albert. She didn't like not knowing who was the persistent idiot that went out of their way to see her. God Kay, when I heard what she said. Something in me snapped. I quickly typed the exact promise she broke on my I-Pad and set it on the table. Turned the desk chair around so she couldn't see me. When she repeated the promise, I immediately wanted to run. Her voice was just like I remembered it."

I watched my sister's facial expressions. I knew she was trying to be strong. Brooke is a bitch for her actions that hurt Ashley and I don't have an ounce of pity for Brooke. I am sure she has issues, but there was no reason that she couldn't come back. She is our older sister for god sakes. If she even cared, she would have checked on us. Hell, she probably doesn't know about grand-mom's death. If she knew, she probably would of sold the house.

"That must be tough."

"Yes but it had to be done. I know you don't understand why I needed to do it on my own."

"You have your reasons and I respect them, but in the future I'm not letting you go through that by yourself. Brooke maybe our big sister, but she hasn'tt acted like it in like eleven years."

"OK."

Wow that was too easy.

"OK?"

"Yes Kayden. We are in this together."

"OK. So what did you guys talked about?"

Personally, I really wanted to know about mom's whereabouts, but I couldn't bring my self to just come right out and ask her. Ashley doesn't know how much I wished mom would come back for me. I know I was wrong to wish that, but she's my mother and I miss her.

"Well first portion of the visit I unleashed some of my anger out on her, but I lied to her though."

"About what?"

Ashley took a breath and started playing with the sand.

"About the extent of the abuse. I am not ready to open up a can of flesh eating worms with Brooke. It was hard enough seeing her eyes full of pain, sadness and regret."

"What happened between mom and her?"

"I don't know. i didn't press her about Christine and I have a feeling something big has happened."

"Why didn't you press her? It was the least she could do."

"Gee bro, maybe because I didn't want to press the topic when it is probably for the best if she tells both of us at the same time. Or maybe just you now since you are the one who really want to know."

"And you don't? They had left me."

Damnit I didn't mean to say that. Ashley let out a sigh.

"Don't you think I thought about it? How could they leave you with the fuckers? You have nothing wrong with you, but yet she left you. And I do not care anymore. Christine is not my concern anymore, but I'll do whatever it takes to find the bitch for you."

OK things just can't change over night. Ashley is just mad. I hope.

"Why?"

She turned so we were facing each other.

"What if I told you that Christine isn't my mother?"

Wait, how does she know? OK she was staring at my face. I can't tell her that I already knew. Well, I found out while Paula was talking on her phone the night at the hospital.

"I don't know. Why? It would be fucked up if she wasn't your mom."

Ashley took her sunglasses off and locked her chocolate brown eyes onto my eyes. I saw the fear in her eyes.

"I need to tell you something before I answer."

"You can tell me anything you want."

For the first time ever, I saw doubt in her eyes. That killed me. Suddenly the guilt came full force.

"Remember what mom mom told us about family?"

I racked my brain. I could remember bits and pieces.

"To be honest, I only remember some."

" isn't always made by the blood that flows through the veins, family is not about namesake. Family is the love from the beats of the heart. I never understood why she always whispered that in my ear every time we hugged until last night." I waited for her to continue. "Kay, what you are about to read will not change how much I love you."

Tears were escaping from her eyes.

"You're scaring me here sis."

She muttered something I couldn't make out. I saw her pulling a piece of crumbled paper out of her pocket.

"I am scared Kayden. I don't want this to change anything between us."

I stared at the paper. What was it that has my sister so scared?

"We are a family sis. Nothing can change the way I love you. I don't even know why you are so scared of losing me. I am not going to leave you like the most of our family did."

"I never thought that dad was this selfish fuck up."

"Don't say that about him. Have some respect for him."

Just because Ashley had a bad experience with dad didn't mean I had a bad experience with him. He was a great dad to me. I never will forget how he taught me to play Twinkle Twinkle Little Star on his stage guitar.

"Sorry little brother. I shouldn't of said that, but once you read this, you will understand."

"How about you tell me what is in the god damn letter?"

"Christine Woods is not my birth mother!"

"BULLSHIT, DAD WOULDN'T DO THAT TO MOM."

I tried getting up, but Ashley was quicker and grabbed my shoulder hard.

"Before you defend your supposedly HERO OF A DAD, READ THE FUCKING LETTER THAT HE WROTE THE NIGHT BEFORE HE KILLED HIMSELF."

At that moment I realized how broken Ashley was. She shoved the letter into my chest and released my shoulder which was probably bruised now. She got up into her chair and turned her back towards me and sped off inside the loft. All a sudden, the anger was replaced by guilt. Brooke had mom and I had dad. Ashley never felt the love that I experienced. I took a deep breath and looked at the letter. First thing I recognized was dad's unique handwriting.

_Dear Angel-heart, You are probably reading this letter because I did what I had planned for tomorrow. I'm guessing that you are almost eighteen too. I'm sure you hate me for what I had done on your sixth birthday and frankly, I don't blame you. It wasn't like I was the father you needed. Let me explain why Christine never treated you like a daughter. You are another woman's daughter. I had cheated with a struggling college student who worked at a strip joint called Hot Girls For You. Before you think that she's a whore, I swear that Elizabeth was not a whore nor did she know who I was. I fell in lust with her. We had an amazing weekend. She was a sweetheart. Her smile could brighten a cave. God only knew how much I regretted breaking her heart. Seven months later, Elizabeth came to my concert, pregnant with you. _

_I was a selfish man and refused her until she went into premature labor in my dressing room. Her best friend Paula Carlin was with her and delivered you.I watched as Paula told your mom what to do. After ten minutes, you popped out looking really blue and weren't crying. The EMTs weren't there yet so Paula ordered me to be with Liz while she did CPR I think. That woman was determined to bring you back to life. After five minutes, we heard your first cry. God it made me so happy. EMTs finally showed up. A few days later, DNA tests proved that you are my daughter and you have cerebral palsy. The doctors said you'll be a vegetable and retarded. _

_Liz wanted me to take you and give you a life that she knew she couldn't give you. I tried offering her money, but she refused to take it, so I do not think she was looking for anything in return, she only had one request. For you to keep the nickname Angel-heart It killed her to say goodbye to you. I brought you to Christine and Brooke. If it wasn't for your sister, you would of been in a special home. _

_I always kept my distance because of Christine, but I love you. I know you won't believe me. I'm sure you are wondering why I gave you the money and Hold On Records. All I can say, out of all 3 of you kids, you got the love for music. I heard you on your fifth birthday. I heard you playing on my piano. You were playing Hold On. You didn't know I was watching you. Ashley, I should of been the one to teach you about music, but I was beyond messed up. I know you'll be great in anything you choose. Don't let anyone kill your dreams because honey you are going to prove everyone wrong. Love Daddy. P.S Go to Orlando for the file of your mother Elizabeth M. Stone._

No fucking way, I can't believe dad thought this out. Dammit I need to get to Ashley. I quickly got up and brushed the sand off before making my way to the loft. As I walked in, I see a worried Madison standing on the fourth step.

"She punched a hole in the living room wall. What's going on?"

I sighed.

"Read this. Sorry about that. I'll fix the hole. Did she say anything to you?"

I handed the letter to her. She started reading the letter. I sat on the bottom step.

"No, but whatever it is, Ashley looks so torn up."

"I can't say I blame her. Ever since we came here. Shit keeps tearing her apart. This is the most fucked up information that would make her lose it. The worst part I knew about it for a month now."

Madison's eyes snapped from the letter but she wasn't looking at me. I glance to where Madison is looking at. My heart dropped.

"What did I hear you just say?"

Madison quickly made her way upstairs, leaving me with a pissed Ashley.

"You don't want me to repeat it sis."

"Don't call me that Kayden. What the fuck did that mean? What were you talking about? And I get the feeling you fucking knew. Am I right?"

I swallowed hard. The way she was looking at me scared me.

"When the Carmen shit happened. I-I overheard Paula on her phone. She was begging Ma- I mean your birth mother to come and see you."

I braced myself.

"You better leave NOW!"

Her face showed all I needed to know. I royally fucked up.

"No not like this."

"If you know me at all, get out of my sight Kayden."

Her voice was laced with venom.

"Not going to happen. I deserve it."

"WHY THE FUCK DID YOU KEEP IT FROM ME?"

"I was protecting you."

"Yeah fucking RIGHT. YOU ARE SO SCARED THAT I WOULD GO AND FIND HER. THEN I WOULD FORGET ABOUT YOU. THANKS A LOT."

Wow. maybe she's right.

"NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ASHLEY."

"Then make me understand because it is looking like the one person I thought wouldn't keep something like this from me for a month actually did."

"Look I didn't know if it was the truth or not plus I overheard a phone conversation. With everything going on, I decided not to tell you because you didn't need to get upset over nothing."

"You expect me to believe you just heard a phone conversation and just let it go?" I didn't know what to say. "You expect the simple fact that you hide it from me to be alright?" I didn't like where this is going. "All my life, I thought YOUR mother hated me because I was different. Surprise surprise I am totally the kid nobody wants. Dad killed himself because of ME. Christine never wanted me. And Elizabeth gave up on me. So WHAT THE FUCK MADE YOU CHOOSE TO NOT TELL ME?"

"She didn't care that you got hurt in her club."

That confused her. I knew Paula advised me to not tell Ashley but I had no other choice.

"Why should the owner of Ego care?"

"Do you remember what Maggie looks like?"

"Honestly, I was in too much pain to pay attention."

"Chocolate eyes, brown wavy hair and dimples."

"What does that fucking have to do with this?"

I could tell she was putting the pieces together in her head.

"Elizabeth's middle name begins with a M. You know where I'm going with this."

"Don't you dare tell me that Maggie Montgomery is Elizabeth Stone. Please don't."

"Wait, how did you know Maggie's last name is Montgomery?"

"Not that you noticed, the fresh lilies that have been delivered weekly were from her."

That explained where the lilies came from.

"Look, I'm sorry. I know I should have told you, but I didn't know how and Paula said Maggie should be the one to tell you."

She looked like I punched her in the gut.

"I thought you'd TELL ME KAYDEN! AFTER ALL WE HAD BEEN THROUGH. KNOW WHAT NEVER-MIND YOU BETTER GO BEFORE YOU ARE LATE. Just be here on Sunday at nine in the morning."

I swallowed the huge lump in my throat. Debating if I should leave when things were bad between us. The stone look she has on her face tells me I need to just leave her alone.

"Why nine?"

"Well Kayden, I'm going to reunite you and your sister."

Her voice is just as cold as if she was talking to the fucker that abused her. I had no idea how to respond. She was fighting to not cry.

"OK, I will be here so we can see our sister."

I pulled my phone out and check on the time.

"Just go."

She pulls out her phone.

"I love you."

Her eyes never leaving her cell.

"I love you too Kay. Just go before you are late."


	20. Realize

**A/N: This is the first time I upload from my IPad. If it looks weird I'm sorry. Anyway this is a filler somewhat. I have two questions for ya'll so if you can, please answer. They are going to be at the bottom.**

I pulled out my cell to avoid the pained expression on his face. I am seriously at my lowest point of my life. My own brother kept something this big from me.

"I love you."

His voice sounded so broken. I kept looking down.

"I love you too Kay. Just go before you are late."

Tears are threatening to fall. I willed myself to look up to see his face.

"Call me later please."

"OK, do you need me to kick your ass out? You need to go."

Kayden walked out. This is the first time, I just don't know how to handle everything. I mean ever since I could remember I just knew that I had my baby brother's best interests on my shoulders. Even before dad took his life, I always made sure Kayden was OK. Then Christine got upset that I wasn't kind enough to give her more than twenty-five thousand dollars. I was only six and in charge of something that was not my doing or want. Christine treated me worse up until she left with Brooke. Now I understood why nobody really loved me except my brother and Mom mom Davies. I barely believed Brooke when she said she loves me.

How are you? -Blue Eyes  
>As OK I can be. -Ashley<br>Do you want to talk? -Blue Eyes  
>No not really. Do you mind if I talk to Haley? -Ashley<p>

As I sent it, I regretted it. It looked like I didn't want to talk with Blue Angel. Before I could type a text. She sent 1 back.

No I don't mind. Just text me if you need me. -Blue Eyes

I let out a relieved sigh. I went into the kitchen and headed straight to the freezer. One thing in mind, chocolate ice cream. Lucky there was some left from last night. I grabbed a bowl, spoon, Hershey's syrup and the ice cream. I slowly moved toward the table so I don't drop anything. Normally I skip the bowl and pig out, but not today. I filled the bottom of the bowl with Hershey's chocolate syrup then added the ice cream. I quickly texted my best friend from Pennsylvania, hoping she is not really pissed at me.

You finally text your supposedly best friend? -Haley  
>I know that I am being a shitty best friend over the last few weeks, but I am really missing you. -Ashley<br>Can I call you in like 10 minutes? -Haley  
>Sure, I am eating chocolate ice cream. -Ashley<br>Oh gee, I'll call in 5 minutes then. -Haley

That's all she needed to know that something was up. She knows when I eat chocolate ice cream, Ninety percent of time, it means I am not OK God only knows how I truly miss Pennsylvania. California is great and all but it doesn't have my best friend. I seriously wish Haley was here to help me figure shit out. As I took my last bite, my cell began to vibrate.

"Hey baby girl."

"Hey Hałes. How's the weather?"

"Actually OK. How's Cali treating you?"

"To be honest, even since I got here I had been hit hard with some serious fucked up shit, but I met a hot guy."

"Whoa hold up did you just say hot guy?"

"Yes I did."

"Spill now! This is definitely a first for you."

"Gee thanks. Now I don't know that I should tell you."

"Not like you thinking any guy is hot."

"Maybe Pennsylvania doesn't have hot guys."

"Fucking spill already."

I laughed.

"OK. This morning I was outside and a beautiful Golden Retriever ran up to me. I pet it to keep it from running. At first I thought its owners were running towards us but-"

"GIRL, GET TO THE GOOD PART ALREADY!"  
>Haley isn't the patient kind of girl. Hell, she loved dragging my ass to Six Flags so we could avoid the long lines because she hates waiting.<p>

"Patience my little best friend."

"Fuck patience just tell me about the hot guy."

"Stop interrupting me then."

"Sorry please continue."

"His name is Leo and he looks like an Italian version of Channing Tatum."

"Explain in depth baby girl."

I know that she is loving this due to the tone of her voice.

"Tan, gorgeous smile, black spiked hair, grayish green eyes and from what I saw he's definitely built like a sexy underwear model."

"Oh my god, you have a crush! On a boy."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing baby girl. I am just shocked and happy that you even talked to a boy."

"OK."

"How did yesterday go?"

"One guess who Brooke's doctor is."

"Doctor Dre?"

I laughed a bit. Haley still doesn't get why there is a rapper with the name.

"I wish. He would be so awesome. Probably would make patients rap."

I hear her laughing. This was how we always end up laughing. No matter what the situation was.

"You would never left if he was your doctor."

"You know me so well. Imma bust out a rap. Try to listen and don't make fun of my white girlish talk."

"OK hit it Brown Warrior."

"Nah I can't. Not about this."

The heaviness of the conversation had returned.

"Just tell me however you want. Rap, sing or just talk. I am listening."

"Hales, I really could use a hug."

Tears started falling.

"I know baby girl. I wish I was in California with you."

"Amber is Brooke's doctor."

"Amber as in the bitch who left without a simple goodbye?"

"Unfortunately yes."

"The fucking nerve of that bitch! She knew how you are with people disappearing from your life and she did the exact same thing."

"I know. When I first saw her, my heart dropped. She's my sister's doctor."

"Did she explain herself?"

"No. She tried texting me last night, but I didn't have the will to let her explain especially while Kayden was throwing Glen and Kyla down my throat."

"He did what?"

Her voice was struggling to stay calm.

"He invited them for Davies fun night without talking to me first."

"He is pretty stupid for a genius."

"Oh that's nothing compared to what I found out that he knew for a month."

"What?"

"Christine is not my mother."

"Wait what?"

Thirty minutes of explaining the letter, she was speechless.

"As you can tell, I don't really have any idea on how to deal with this."

"Deal with it how you need to. I really want to go Philly gangster on a few people for fucking Cali up for you. Did you even tell your roommate about Andrew?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Bull fucking shit! It does matter. I was there and saw what that fucker was going to do! I don't feel comfortable that he is around you and acting like he doesn't know you."

"What do you want me to say? Hey Madison, your boyfriend tried force himself on me when I was 12? It needs to stay in the past Hales."

"Answer one question. Do you feel comfortable that Andrew Aiden Dennison is near you?"

"OK, you know for a fact I don't feel comfortable around most guys."

"Just answer the question."

"No I can't be comfortable around him, but he's my roommate's boyfriend and I won't break them up all because of what he did in the past."

"Do you even think he forgot about it? Because I don't believe he has."

"Even so. He has never been alone with me."

"I'm just scared girl. I'm not there to protect you from him."

I knew she was afraid as soon I told her about him being in California, but I tried to reassure her that it doesn't freak me out, but she knew I was lying.

"Don't worry I got it covered. He is not that stupid to try again."

"OK. So how is your niece?"

"God Haley, she is a true Davies. That girl could be outgoing with me from the very beginning. She is amazing and a brat."

"Sounds like a good thing."

I sensed something was off in her voice.

"How's life with you?"

"Shitty without you."

"You know if you ask. I would jump on a death machine for you in a second."

"Are you still coming next weekend?"

Next weekend? i quickly realized next Saturday is her eighteenth birthday.

"Yes I am. Ask mom if she can borrow a manual wheelchair or I need to figure something out. Wouldn't Jock Strap be jealous?"

"We broke up two days ago."

Wait what?

"What? Why? How? Are you OK?"

"Ashley, don't worry."

Right now I am really worried. She never calls me Ashley.

"What happened?"

"You don't wanna to know."

I could hear she was holding it together for my stake, but this isn't right.

"Of course I do."

"So you can say 'I told you so' no thanks."

"Wow, gee I had a right to hate Scott, but you love him. You chose him over me quite few times and now you think I'm that cruel to my best friend. Thanks a lot."

Scott made my life at AGHS a living hell. He was the one that gave me a nickname that ruined the word special for me. The word Special is a double edge word to many people. Unfortunately I am one of them thanks to Scott. What made it worse that Haley was so in love with him. She defended him. When my locker got trashed, he fucking bragged about it ,but she stood by her man. While everyone laughed at me. It still hurts that she didn't lift a finger to help me.

"I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"He befriended Rick and shit happened that I couldn't stand beside him any longer. You're more important to me."

I feel sick to my stomach.

"What do you mean by shit? Since when Scott is buddies with the fucker?"

"Look I found out two days ago in fucking home room. Scott did something which he's in jail now along with Rick and his wife." I seriously feel sick to my stomach. "I'm sorry."

"What did they do?"

"A slide show of you black and blue."

She's crying while I was trying to keep my stomach down.

"FUCK!"

"I swear to you I didn't know that he was going to do that."

"And you want me there next week?"

"Yes don't worry. It's going to be just us."

"Seriously? it's your 18th."

"Baby girl, as long as you are here I don't care."

"OK what if I fly you and mom here? I'm sure mom would love it here plus I want to show you where I live."

"I don't know."

"Ask mom. If she says no, I'll fly there. Deal?"

"Only if you are flying us second class." I rolled my eyes. "Stop that. You don't let us pay for shit."

I laughed. Madison walked in and pointed to her wrist. I hold up 1 finger.

"Hales I have to go. Just ask her and text me."

"OK, I love you."

"I love you too."

**A/N: Should Haley and Sara come to CA or Ash to PA? Should I write about Ash's tour of King High or skip it? If you can please answer these 2 questions. It'll be very helpful to me. Thank you for R/R/F. They shocked me. **


	21. It now

_**A/N: I am seriously sorry. Rough year. Writing hasn't been my first priory and I know you don't want hear it or technically read about it. I just want to say be patient with me. I'm trying to come back but where my head is, I'm not sure when I'll update. **_

I hung up. Madison seemed to be analyzing my moves or something.

"Chica, how is your hand?" I pulled out my I-Pad. "You could sign if it's easier for you."

I pushed my I-Pad to the side.

"My hand is OK. I'm sorry about the wall."

"Do you take your anger out on innocent walls often?"

"It was the first time. Sorry."

She looked at me with sympathy in her eyes, walked closer to where I was.

"Stop apologizing. I understand. You can't keep going on like this though." I looked at her confused. She must of read my face. "You are like a ticking bomb ready to explode. I think you need to find a way to defuse the bomb with no casualties or the minimum casualties before someone innocent would end up hurt."

"Don't worry. I got it covered."

Even I don't believe myself and by the look Madison is giving me she doesn't either

"How about I show you a place that may be a great outlet for you?"

"OK, after the dreadful tour we can go."

"Do you want to reschedule? I'm sure they would understand."

I shook my head no.

"I'm starting on Monday so I can't reschedule. You don't have to go if you don't want. I'm sure you would rather spend some time with your boyfriend than tagging along with me."

Haley is right that Madison deserves to know about Andrew, but I am not going to be any cause for the fighting.

"Look if I didn't wanna go, I would have told you that I got plans. To be honest, Aiden is acting very distant lately so I rather to be with you than him right now."

Probably because he knows who exactly I am. Madison was looking at what I'm wearing oddly.

"OK. So do I need to change or do I look okay?"

"Aren't you hot in that hoodie? What is under it?"

I nodded.

"I'm going to change my shirt but keeping my sweats."

Madison shook her head.

"One of these days, I'm getting you out of the sweats phase.

"Shut up, leave my sweats alone. At least I'm not into track suits like the evil coach on Glee!"

Madison looked horrified at what I said.

"Please tell me you're not a Glee fan."

"It's my most favorite show to annoy me to death." She looked confused. "I mean the singing aspect of show is good but way too annoying to watch who decides to ruin their meaningful relationships or listen to how much a selfish annoying bitch Rachel is or watch how gross Bram's pairing really is."

"OK, I'm taking it as you are a closet fan."

"Fuck no!"

Madison just laughed.

"Really? Could of fool me. Since you seemly know a lot about the show."

"Really!"

"Uh uh, right. Why don't you like Bram?"

"Well they look like sister and brother."

She cracked up laughing.

"You so are a Glee fan!"

"OK. I'm going in my room and change. Do you mind riding with me? It'll save gas if we take one vehicle."

Nobody except Kayden has experienced my driving since I have been in California.

"Sure that makes sense. Can I listen a CD that a friend made for me?"

"As long as it's not Justin Beaver or No Direction, I'm good."

"Deal."

I turned on my chair, started clearing the table, but Madison took over and shooed me away. I'm happy that I asked her to be my roommate. Granted she is a bit too much at times, but I wouldn't have Madison any other way.

As soon I went into my bedroom, I saw the rusted mini locked toolbox sitting exactly where I left it on my bed.

"Mom mom, I'm trying to keep my promise but I don't know if I can now."

I know she would hear me from the sky. I remembered the day when I made the promise to my mom mom while she was knocking on death's door. I remembered that day very clearly. I had enough putting her lifeless body through that. Since I was the next to the oldest that was around, I had to be her medical power of attorney. Her living will had stated that her grandchildren decide when to let her go. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. Kayden left it in my hands because he couldn't decide to end whatever kept her alive. I had Mike search for Brooke before I did what needed to be done, but no such luck. I remembered it was on a Wednesday during a heat wave. Sara just dropped me off at Jennersville hospital where my mom mom was at. I remembered how pale she looked and the annoying beeping of the machines made that kept her breathing. I remembered feeling like selfish because it had been a month since she was awake. I remembered how the doctor asked if I wanted to be the one that turns off the life support. I remembered wishing that I wasn't the one that made the call. I remembered turning it off and climbed into her hospital bed. I remembered placing my head on her slowly beating heart. I remembered whispering a promise that I would get the Davies' family back together. I remembered staying in the same position for three hours until Sara, Haley and Kayden came and forced me to leave my mom mom's side. Kayden knew what I was going to do but he didn't want to be there. Sara and Haley had no idea or they would have stayed. All I felt was numbness and hatred towards so called almighty god.

I pulled off my hoodie and shirt, I see a card fall to the floor. I opted for my reaching tool, even though it is a piece of shit when it comes to paper. Fortunately I'm smart and figured out a trick. I grabbed my dust pan thing and use the reaching tool as a broom to slid the card onto the dust pan and lifted the pan by the stick to my reaching level. Of course, I know I'm still shirtless and all. I quickly skimmed the business card and an unpleasant feeling settled in my stomach, but I didn't have time to dwell on it.

I grabbed my ACDC gray t-shirt and put it on. Went to bathroom and everything. As soon as I got out of my room, I hear Madison on her cell.

"You thought we automatically had plans just because I'm off?" I'm assuming it was Aiden. "Well news flash, I don't sit on my ass waiting for you and your tiny dick to make time for me! Looks like you're shit out of luck."

She hung up and muted her cell.

_**"Are you OK?"**_

She jumped.

"Geez, your IPad needs a better voice than creepy computer voice."

I just shook my head and smiled.

_**"Ready to go my new hell?"**_

She's frowned.

"You aren't looking forward going to King High?" I nodded my head. "Why put yourself through that then?"

I took a deep breathe while typing my answer.

_**"Because life is not that simple. If I get my GED, the person who is running my dad's company would expect me to either sell or take my place there. If I go to high school, I'd have until graduation to figure out what I want to do with Hold On Records."**_

"You have seriously got the weight of the freaking music world on your shoulders." I shrugged. "Your dad must of seen something in you." I rolled my eyes and pointed towards the door. "OK, got the hint loud and clear.

While I was driving, we listened to the CD. Madison refused to give me a name of whoever it was singing. Only thing she would tell me was the minutes later, here we were at King High. Madison was probably remembering her high school days and me well I'm taking it in. The fact that there is no handicapped parking is seriously annoying, so I took the liberality to park sideways which takes up about 3 parking spaces. I can't afford some jackasses boxing my hummer in. I unlocked the locks that holds my wheelchair in place while driving AngelHeart. Madison just watched in amazement. I wondered why she was refusing to give me M's name. Her CD that she played is her friend which has an amazing voice. I'm so going to inform Mr. Santos that I found what Hold On Records is missing. I just need to get this girl's name from the Latina.

"Girl, you are the shit. Don't be nervous.

I don't think she realizes why I was uneasy.

_**"A school that doesn't have handicapped parking raises major red flags."**_

"So? I don't see what the problem is."

What the fuck?

_**"Simple."**_

I know I could have explained, but it had to be done like this. Madison realized what she just said.

"Shit, I'm sorry I didn't mean how that sounded."

I shrugged my shoulders. Madison noticed how I was parked. I must of had a look on my face that made her not want to make any comments. I wonder if Mike told whoever about my disability because it looks like a disaster at the moment. i unleashed my chair. I looked at Madison.

_**''Can you get my black binder from the back under the seat please?"**_

She nodded and got out of Angel Heart. I took a deep breath and let myself calm down. I know Madison was waiting for me to do my thing. Kayden's words were replaying in my head. He was right. I don't have Haley to protect me. I look at the building for a minute before lowering my lift.

Then there was a tiny ass cop looking at my car. My day is getting better by the fucking minute. Then the security woman got out of the tiny car. My jaw hit the pavement. This chick is tall.

"Mind if I ask why you parked like this?"

The question was directed towards Madison. I pushed the button to my lift.

"Uh, wrong person to ask. Bianca, meet Ashley who is lowing herself out of her hummer."

The woman turned and was checking me out. Probably because she's never seen anything like this before. For some reason it didn't annoy me as much as it usually did . Once I got fully off the lift I pulled my I Pad out with my driver's license.

_**"Ma'am, as you can see there's no handicapped parking and I cannot afford someone blocking my drivers side which has my lift. Here's my license." **_

I handed it to whatever this chick is. She took it. After a minute, she did a double take. Oh god please tell me she is not a fan of my father's.

"Miss Davies, this is a Pennsylvania license. Why are you here at King High?"

_**"Well I am meeting a guildance counselor and taking a tour of my new personal prison beginning Monday."**_

She looked pale.

"Are you Raife Davies' daughter?"

_**"Does it really matter Officer?"**_

Shitty question, but I wasn't in a mood for a fan of my father's.

"No it doesn't matter and I'm just security. Bianca Montgomery."

This was getting weirder by the second.

_**"Montgomery?"**_

Madison stepped in before this lady could say anything more.

"It's almost two thirty and Ashley needs to get inside. How do we get handicapped parking?"

"Guessing you didn't tell her?"

_**"Wait what?"**_

"No I didn't. It shouldn't matter."

_**"Excuse me, Bianca what did Madison neglect telling me?"**_

"You'll be the first how do I say wheelchair student."

_**"Oh!"**_

She just confirmed my suspicions. King High is going to be a disaster.

"Chica, it doesn't matter. You'll fit in just fine."

Bianca handed my license back. She was really looking at my face.

"You have to get a Cali drivers license within three months but I won't keep you."

_**"Thanks ma'am. Hopefully they would figure this out."**_

I took a few deep breaths before looking at Madison. I pointed at my binder that she was holding. She understood and handed it to me.

I left the two. I thought I heard Madison saying I was not OK. I just kept heading to King High's doors.

My cell buzzed. So you want my daughter & I to jump on a plane next weekend? -Mom/Sara

It depends on you mom. All I know we'll see each other one way or another. Just think you guys should come to check out where I live. Plus I want to make Hales' birthday the best. -Ashley

OK, but I buy the tickets. We'll be there from Thursday to Monday. -Mom/Sara

Really? Thanks. I gotta go but we'll definitely talk.-Ashley

Yes that made my day. I analyzed the door trying to see the best way to open it. I opted to take off my seat belt & slide myself to the edge of the seat. It gave me a few inches more. I got the door opened enough to pass my feet paddles so I moved my wheelchair far enough so it keep the door open. I quickly fixed myself before my legs got tired. I didn't realize someone was watching me. I pushed the door more so I didn't ruin the door while I moved.

"I think you got the wrong school."

What the fuck? This old lady got some balls. I pulled out my I Pad.

_**"I don't think you should say that Ma'am because I'm King High's new student. Now will you please tell me where Miss Lewis's office is?"**_

Her face showed a bit anger. Geez what did I say?

"You have got to be kidding me."

_**"Why? You don't think a 3.9 GPA student belongs here. Know what I will find it myself."**_

I just headed straight past the old lady. I looked for the guidance office or any sort of office that would hopefully help me. I'm not good in unfamiliar places. i get panicky when I get lost. A black woman walked my way.

"May I help you?"

I looked at my I Pad.

_**"Can you please show me where I can find Miss Lewis?"**_

"First, I will need to know your name."

_**"My name is Ashley Davies."**_

The black lady giggled. I looked at her oddly.

"Sorry, your lawyer didn't tell me that you're disabled. I'm Miss Lewis."

_**"I'm going to kill Mike."**_

"Don't worry. Let's head to my office and talk."

I nodded my head and followed Miss Lewis. She seemed friendly. She led me down a hall with trophies and awards. I made a mental note to remember. Once we were in her office, I looked around to see a bunch of paintings.

_**"I don't know how this works. Here's my transcripts from Avon Grove High School."**_

She took the binder and put it aside.

"OK. Look as you can see King High isn't handicapped accessible and to be totally honest with you, there are going to be a lot naysayers that will say you don't belong."

_**"Are you one of them?"**_

She took a minute.

"I believe that you belong. Do you?"

She wasn't lying through the teeth.

_**"Do I have to answer?"**_

"You just did." I looked at her confused. "Your eyes told me you're trying to believe in yourself but you really don't."

_**"Don't analyze me."**_

"I'm not. In order for this to work you are going to have to trust me. I'm here to help you with anything."

She was getting too close for comfort.

_**"One question, how are the teachers here?"**_

"They're OK. You may have to prove yourself though."

_**"Story of my life."**_

"So Ashley, why have you not graduated yet? You got enough credits."

Should I tell her the truth? She seems like genuine.

_**"Short version, I have inherited Hold On Records. The guy who is looking after it is waiting for me to graduate so I can either take my place or sell it."**_

"Wait, you are the Ashley Davies that Rolling Stones keeps writing about?" I began to get upset. "I'm sorry. That must of put a lot of pressure on you."

_**"Do you mind walking me through my class schedule?"**_

She got the hint. She opened my binder. Typing in the computer. She frowned a little.

"Most of your classes are upstairs."

_**"Oh. That's gonna to be a problem."**_

"Maybe not." This chick is weird. "What if you stay on one floor but still attend all of your classes?"

_**"No offense but that would not help." **_Now she looked confused. _**"I don't want to be the weird kid who has to use a computer. How can you expect me to fit in with the student body?"**_

"Oh. Sorry didn't think about that."

_**"I'll figure something out. Could you possibly make the upstairs classes one after another?" **_

"Sure."

_**"Oh you need inform whoever, there needs to be a handicapped accessible bathroom stall & parking. If money is an issue, I'll donate 250.000 to King High but only if the principal approves making King High more accessible."**_

Miss Lewis' jaw dropped literately.

"Hold on to that thought."

**SPENCER'S POV**

"Where is she?"

"Busy."

"Look you low life prick, tell Paula that I am here or so help me god I'll stick my extremely gay guy friends on you."

My patience is very thin with the guy who broke my family up.

"Look dyke, she is busy with a client."

I got into his face.

"Tell her that I'M FUCKING HERE NOW PATRICK!"

"OK Spencer."

He ran with his tail between his legs. I'm very pissed. My mom should have given me a heads up.

"Spencer Carlin, why are you here?"

"You are so selfish. You knew who Ashley was before she came here!"

She paused on the spot.

"How?"

"Her fucking ass father wrote a letter to Ashley the day before he killed himself. Yesterday she read that exact letter! She forced me to read it also. Do you have any idea how fucked up it is finding out Maggie is her mother? I didn't tell her Elizabeth is Maggie! She was so broken mom and for some reason it is your fault."

She was looking at me with remorse.

"Don't you think I know that? Spencer as soon as I saw her name in that email from Sara, I tried like hell to get Maggie to come clean with her daughter."

"Why pair us together?"

She grabbed a hidden folder.

"Promise me you won't freak."

I looked into my mother's eyes.

"I promise."

She opened the folder, it was full of X rays. Fractured ribs, cracked skull and many more.

"They are Ashley's. After I got off phone with Sara, I had gotten all of her medical records to prove Sara's suspicions right."

"Yes I know the grandparents are sick."

"You know?"

"I put the pieces together. Still doesn't answer my question."

"Promise me you will keep this quiet. Ashley cannot know that Sara sent a drawing to me."

"No I can't promise that. Ashley doesn't need me to keep secrets from her."

"OK, when did you become fantasized with brown angels?"

I thought very hard.

"I don't remember. Why does it matter?"

"You just turned thirteen, you had a bicycle accident. You were in a medically induced coma for your brain to stop swelling. You woke up yelling where was brown angel. Now do you remember?"

I sat down.

"Mom, what does this have to do with Ashley?"

"Ashley fell down the steps on April 7th 2006 and was in a coma til November 11th 2006."

What the? No. My mom wouldn't even dare think it.

"So?"

"Come on Spence, you're not stupid."

"Mom just spit it out already."

"I think both of you met in your guys' coma state. actually I know Ashley did."

This is way too fucked up to grasp.

"How?"

She looked guilty.

"She has been drawing your eyes ever since she has woken up."

"Explain why you put your gay daughter with Ashley."

"No matter what mistakes I have done, I still have a heart. Ashley needs you more than ever. Sara thinks Ashley would explain why she is deathly terrified of going upstairs without crutches. You would help her."

"Mom, I know why and truthfully I don't blame her. We can't even manage to imagine what all she had been through and you nor Maggie have not lifted a finger to help that beautiful little girl when you guys found out about Raife's suicide on Ashley's sixth birthday. You are as bad as Maggie."

"Spence, you don't understand."

"No mom, you don't understand. She was the one who found him! A 6 year old found her daddy DEAD. Christine NEVER loved her. Do you realize how Ashley is feeling? Nobody wanted her. Nobody thought she mattered! Not Raife, not Christine and especially NOT MAGGIE. That girl didn't deserve the life she has lived though. Don't fucking dare tell me that I don't understand."

"Spencer, Maggie had her reasons. It's not for us to judge."

Mom was crying.

"A mother should always to keep an eye on her daughter. No matter how different. A mother should always love her unconditionally. Too bad you will never get it. Goodbye Paula."

Tears were running down my face. I walked out of what would be my workplace starting Monday.


	22. But

**A/N: Oh my god. I'm sorry. Only excuse I got. My head is in a bad place. Next chapter, there'll be Some Spashley. I know this chapter seems pointless but I felt it was needed and I hope you understand.**

A few hours had passed and I was sitting at some weird coffee shop. Weird because of the depressing poetry readings. I understood why she thought that I would benefit, but in reality this was the last thing that would help right now. Madison had been in an off mood since we left King High. I had been debating if I should comment on it or not. My phone was vibrating like mad. I knew who is texting me, but I'm still upset with Kayden.

He fucking knew for a fucking month. How am I supposed to feel about it? That it was OK that he had kept something this huge from me? Can't I just enjoy California just one freaking day?

Oops I guess I must of zoned out too long because Madison was waving her hands in my face.

"You OK, Chica?" I slowly nodded. "You are not feeling this place?" I wasn't sure if that was a statement or a question, so I chose the latter and typed my answer.

"**_Just a long day. I'm not into listening to this type of poetry nor am I interested sharing my poems."_**

She looked disappointed.

"I thought this would be the best place for you since you are creative."

I took a deep breath before I began to type again.

**"Madison, right now this place is not for me, but maybe in the future it will be. Thank you for the thought and also for showing me this place."**

I was hoping that she understood because I would hate to tell her that being here and listening to other people's depressing poems was making me feel like I want to slit my wrists. I know that sounds awful but the way I'm feeling plus the depression based poems is a bad combo.

"You're welcome I guess. Do you want to get out of here?" I quickly nodded. "Ease your brother's mind first by texting him back please."

"**_Not now OK? Kayden knows better than him keeping something as big as my entire life I had been lied to from me." _**

Madison was looking uncomfortable.

"What if he thought it was for the best to keep it from you?"

**_"Kayden knows that I rather hear it from him rather then finding out he knew and kept it from me."_**

"So theoretically speaking, if I know something that will most likely hurt you, you would want me to tell you?"

I took a moment to digest what she was asking. I wasn't sure how to answer because technically I am keeping something from her.

_**"Depends, I mean I don't need to know anything unimportant like you ate my last raisin bagel." **_

"Well there is two things. I know that you knew Aiden. You can stop forcing yourself to be nice to him for my benefit."

_** "How did you know?"**_

"He told me about his past. He left your name out of it, but I figured it out after a few days seeing your body language pretty much gave it away. Which is why I try keep him away from the loft as much I can."

I didn't know what to say.

**_"Why aren't you mad at me?_**"

She looked confused.

"Huh? Care to explain that question in detail?"

_**"Why aren't you mad at me that I didn't say I knew him**_?"

"Simplest way that I can answer that is, I understand why you didn't. He is a doucebag."

"**_OK. What is the second one?"_**

Madison visually tensed.

"What if I told you that Maggie has a fifteen year old daughter?"

Of course she had another daughter.

**_"Oh OK thats Cool, but to be honest I'm really not shocked."_**

"Even if the girl looks more like you?"

**_"Well she is Maggie's daughter and apparently so am I. What's the issue?_"**

"I think more than you are letting yourself feel."

_** "Look, I can't deal with the fact that Maggie gave up on me let alone the fact that I might have a little half sister somewhere. So are you wanting me to react badly?**_"

"Yes! I mean no but I expected some type of reaction."

I took a deep breath and took a moment.

**_"It's just a lot to take in."_**

"I just figured you deserved to find out like this instead being blind sided."

"**_Mind if I drop you off at home? I need to do something."_**

"Do I have a choice to go with you?"

"**_No, not this time. I need to do this alone."_**

She looked worried.

"I should of kept my mouth shut."

_** "Mads, don't say that. I can't say I'm overjoyed with what you just told me, but I am grateful that you did." **_

I am starting to feel like California is my Hellmouth. Maybe a chick with a stake would come to my rescue.

I heard a girl's voice. My eyes focused on where the people read their poetry. Something about this girl seems familiar. Madison was staring at this girl with wide eyes. I was interested. This girl sounded sad.

"Tell me, how to love someone who doesn't love me back.

Tell me, how to respect someone who doesn't deserve my respect.

Tell me, how to trust someone who betrayed me so badly.

Tell me, how to care for someone who never cared about me.

Tell me, how to speak nicely to someone who only spoke down to me with bad words.

Tell me, how to get along with someone who brought me nothing but endless tears.

Tell me, how to get close to someone who caused me so much pain.

Tell me, how to forgive someone who hurt me so severely.

Tell me, how to open my heart to someone who broke it to pieces too many times."

Shit. That was a good poem. Too surreal for me. I saw Madison fly outside. I packed my shit up as fast I could, flagged down the waitress who was assigned to the table. Just gave her 50 dollar bill and got outside.

"We just need to leave."

I never seen Madison this eager to leave before, but then again I had barely been anywhere with her. I reached for my keys, but the stuff on my lap fell. I must of not secured the stuff including my IPad. Madison rushed to help. I signed.

"Next time, give me a heads up before running out like that. I thought something was seriously wrong."

"I'm sorry Chica."

I heard the girl's voice calling Madison's name. Madison cursed under her breath. I had a feeling this was the reason why she wanted to get out of there so fast. I took a closer look at the nameless poet. She looked like a goth.

"Madison Duarte, why are you avoiding me?"

"Hey M, sorry, but my friend needs to leave and she's my ride. Sorry."

I looked at Madison asking what the fuck. The poet focused on me.

"Oh hi, My name is Miranda Stone. What's your name?"

I quickly looked at Madison who looked really guilty. Just fucking great. I grabbed my IPad.

_**"Hi my name is Ashley Davies. That was a deep poem you did in there."**_

She took off her sunglasses to get a better look at me.

"Thanks.." A minute later. "Wait, Ashley Davies as in the Ashley Davies who have the fate of Hold On Records in the palm of her hands?"

I laughed.

"**_I guess so. How did you know?"_**

"Well I want to become a singer and H.O.R keeps denying my demo because they say they're not taking on anymore talents. So I did my research and Raife Davies' middle child inherited it."

That was weird. Nobody had informed me that they put a stop to taking on new talent. I need to get a Skype meeting with the Hold On Records people because its uncalled for that nobody told me about this.

"_**You can give me your demo and I'll listen to it. If I can help you out I will.**_"

That put the biggest smile on her face. That is when I knew I need to have it out with the woman who had supposedly given me life if I wanted to help Miranda out.

"Really? That would be amazing."

**_"Yes, if you're an awesome poet. I'm dying to see what kind of singer you would be."_**

"Awesome! Thanks."

Literately right then she whipped out a CD out of her bag. Geez this girl came prepared.

"**_Wow, you're welcome."_**

I looked at the CD. It had Miranda 'Tiger Heart' Stone with her contact information. I had the feeling that i would do anything to help her out. I didn't know exactly how am I to feel at this moment. Miranda looked like she would be like Amy from Evanescence, but looks can be deceiving. I try not judge a book by the cover. Madison grew some balls to step in.

"M, what are you doing here? I thought you were in Texas."

Miranda's smile faded some.

"Momma convinced mom to get me out of that awful private school and I'll be going to King High." I must of looked really confused. Miranda noticed. "I got two moms. Is that a problem?"

**_"No no no no. That's cool."_**

Inside, I've got so many fucking emotions going on. I pulled out my cell.

"Okay. I guess I'll let you guys go."

_**"Do you maybe need a ride?"**_

Madison looked shocked. To be honest, I am too. Miranda looked conflicted.

"Who is driving?"

I looked at Madison, silently asked her to answer.

"Ashley is." Miranda had a mixure of shock and uneasiness on her face. "M, Ashley is a safe driver. Better than Spencer. Plus it's cool to see how she does it."

**_ "You gonna have to decide whether to trust me enough with your life or not. I promise you Angelheart & I are pretty safe."_**

I'm used to people being uneasy about my driving so this doesn't upset me. There was something that clicked in Miranda's eyes and she took a double look like she knew something.

"Did you just say Angelheart?"

_**"Yup, my Hummer." **_

She looked a little paler.

"Can I ask you a question?" I nodded. "Where you get the name AngelHeart from?"

I took a long breath and pulled out my necklace.

**_"I had the nickname before I was born. You know who I am. Right?_**"

Her face drained.

"No way. No fucking way. Raife fucking Davies. No no no. She hates him. No."

_** "Apparently not."**_

"M, please stop. Ashley just found out last night. She is dealing with a lot. Can we just go?"

"But but but that means that Ashley is my older sister."

I just pushed my lift button. I decided let Madison to deal with her because I'm not mentally prepared to deal with Miranda. I needed to call Kaiden. I typed on my Ipad.

_**"Girls, I need to make a quick call. Do you mind?" **_

"It's OK Ashley. Take your time."

Madison pulled Miranda towards the side.

** MADISON'S POV**

"Does my mom know that Ashley in California?"

Damn she was pissed.

"M, look I know you are angry and got every right but I can't explain."

"She didn't tell me that Ashley was disabled."

"I'm sure she didn't tell you for a reason."

I can't tell her much because A. It wasn't my place and B. I didn't know much.

"But-"

"No buts M. I know this is a shock to you, but let me tell you one thing. Ashley's life wasn't a great one and she just found out about your mom through a fucking letter from her dad last night then about you today. So don't ask her questions about your mom or you may regret it."

I think it sunk in. I heard Ashley's voice loud. I wished I could understand her. To me it sounds like just jibberish.

"Whoever that is, sounded pissed off."

"That's Ashley."

"How can anybody understand her?"

"Her brother says it's easy once you are around her. Cusses are clear as day." I heard Ashley's lift. I was taking a wild guess that she was done. "Let's go and check Ashley out."

_**ASHLEY'S POV **_

My brother is a major prick. I can't believe he had the balls to say do not forget about him. I punched my beloved hummer.

"SON OF A COCK."

OK that hurt a lot. I shook out my hand before loading myself onto the lift. As I was going up, I saw the two girls. I caught Madison's attention and began to sign.

"You two need to decide where to sit."

"I call shot gun."

"Hey, no fair. I'm a guest."

"Excuse me little one. It's your loss and my gain."

Ugh, I swear sometimes Madison is like a kid. I just laughed.

"One of these days this little one will be taking care of your Mexican old ass. You best be nice to me."

"Pssh. As if I put my care in your hands. How many goldfish had to be flushed because you forgot to feed them?"

I went in my hummer and got myself locked. I popped in CD that Miranda gave me to listen to. By then the girls got in. My hand was throbbing. I pushed through it to type on the IPad.

_** "Where am I dropping you off at?"**_

"Would it be ok if you drop me off at Ego?"

Madison muttered shit under her breath.

"**_If that's what you want then yes. I just need help with the directions."_**

"Are you sure Chica?"

I signed. "Yes, I'll be OK."

"I so need to learn Sign Language."

Madison turned towards Miranda.

"Then tell your guidance counselor that you want to take ASL 101."

Whoa, KH offers ASL. AGHS doesn't.

"OK, I'll. Ash, take a right when you hit the stop light then its straight thru for 10 minutes."

I nodded. Pushed play. I saw Miranda's eyes light up through the rearview mirror. I hit the road. Miranda's first mistake was that she used an annoying popular song as her first song. Her voice was excellent, but a overused Miley Cyrus song killed her chances for a good record deal. I'll have to explain that to her. Second mistake another MC song, the producers will not want another MC which now I have a feeling I know why H.O.R turned her down.

"M, this cannot be the demo you had been passing out?"

Yes I guessed Madison knew the same thing.

"Yes. Why?"

"Because this is not you. Why not use your own stuff?"

"Well because I read..."

I stopped the CD. Pulled over and frantically typed on my IPad as fast I could.

"_**Forget what you have read. A demo is to represent the kind of artist that you're aiming to become. People that are songwriters are the ones that are successful. Taylor Swift for an example. She writes most of her songs. The producers won't listen to a minute of this demo. Even though you have a excellent voice, but based on what I have heard. You are wanting to be Miley Cyrus. I'm going to forget about this demo and you make a new one with the help of Madison. Deal?"**_

I practically pushed them together hoping they get the hint. Miranda would be in need of a caring manager and Madison seems to know her shit.

"You don't have to give me another chance because we are related."

_**"I'm not. I just doing what is right. Your voice is amazing. You just need someone to help you." **_

Madison jumped in.

"If you want my help I can. I think I know what you need to have a kickass demo."

I sure hoped I didn't offend Miranda.

"OK. Sure why not. I guess I need help after all."

OK. Maybe I pulled over to prolong the 10 minute drive. I thought about the first time I met Maggie.

"Chica, you don't have to do this, I can drive M to Ego if this is too much on you."

I shook my head no. I needed to deal with this. I'm not weak. Or I'll keep repeating it in my head.

"If it helps, she's not there. She is at home. My momma is meeting me there. You'd love her. She's awesome."

I gave Miranda a grateful smile. I had a feeling we'll get along just fine. I started driving.

"By the way, it's the school cop."

What the absolute fuck? Why Madison had to say this while I was behind the wheel? Where is Jesus? I literately needed him take the wheel.

"By your face, you are seriously freaking."

Ok Miranda pointed out the flipping obvious. I didn't know why this was affecting me so much. I saw the club. It had some cars. I looked at it different compared to the day and night. Plus that night I didn't have a chance to really look.

"You OK Chica?"

I pulled into a handicapped parking spot. Grabbed the IPad.

_**"Miranda, does your moms know who gave you a ride?"**_

Yea I wasn't answering Madison only because I didn't know how to answer it was taking everything in me to not get frustrated. I know nothing about this woman who easily gave me up without looking back. Fuck, she even knew I was in California.

"Momma knows. She was the one that told me to come here where mom isn't."

_**"So Bianca married to Elizabeth I mean Maggie?" **_I looked in rearview mirror and Miranda slowly nodded her head. "**_She's fully gay?" _**Miranda smiled alittle and nodded again._** "But.. Oh nevermind."**_


	23. I'm falling

**A/N: I'm sorry guys. Writing is tough... I hope this chapter will get you guys to forgive me. **

I saw the door to Ego opening. I would be lying if i said this is not getting to be a bit too overwhelming for me. Part of me was regretting giving Miranda a ride to a place that I wasn't ready to go in the first place. My ribs were reminding me of that night. Carmen Sancez was definitely someone that didn't like people standing up to her. Still I don't regret it. My ribs are bugging more, but I push that aside.

"Chica, are you alright?"

I couldn't tear my eyes away from the woman that I had met at the high school earlier. I just signed. I knew Madison would know that I was talking to her.

"This is getting to be too much for me to bear at the moment. I need to get away from here as soon as possible or I'll literately lose it."

Bianca looked differently in the normal clothes than in that security uniform at the high school. She looked conflicted. I wasn't sure if she is going to come to us or wait. Maybe she's wondering if I know the truth about her and Elizabeth. If that is what she was thinking then i was hoping she would just wait to talk to am I doing? Am I really rationalizing this whole fucked up situation?

"I know girl just try not to think about it."

"What are you guys talking about?"

Crap, I forgot that Miranda was still in my hummer.

"M, we're talking about how hot it's going to be."

I smiled some. Madison is really good at being a quick thinker.

"OK. Maybe you guys wanna to come in and have my special float."

I looked at Madison and silently beg her to think of an excuse. Her eyes went wide.

"M, we can't. Ashley needs to do something."

Her voice sounded freaked out. I looked back at Miranda, she was looking out of the window which a clenched jaw. I thought she was mad at us for saying no but I noticed Bianca and some other woman arguing.

"Guys, I'm sorry."

I reached for my I Pad.

_**"You didn't do anything wrong.**_"

"M, we need to go."

Why do I feel like a jerk?

**_"What the hell. Whatever I need to do can wait until I taste Miranda's special float."_**

Both girls yelled no. Which was confusing the hell outta me.

"You don't know who that woman with my momma is . Do you?"

I looked where Miranda was pointing. All I saw was Bianca's back with another woman in front of her.

_**"No. Should I know?"**_

"Chica, you won't want to know."

I looked at Madison then back to Miranda. Ignoring the nagging feeling that I should of listened to Madison's warning and Miranda's face, I turned Angelheart off. Unhooked my chair.

"Ashley, you really don't have to do this."

I quickly typed.

_**"Why are you girls acting weird all of a sudden?**_"

"That woman is mom."

Those four words stopped me in my tracks for a second. I gave Madison my keys and I Pad and then quickly signed.

"Text Kayden and tell him I'll need the bottle tonight."

She was just about to ask why. I held up a hand so Madison got the hint. I opened the door to my lift. Both of the girls were really quiet.

I see Bianca turned and Elizabeth/Maggie was looking freakishly like me. If I wasn't so screwed-up in the head already, I would have found it awesome, having my life turned upside within twenty four hours. I was perfectly fine thinking my mom (Christine) hates me, but now knowing I was literately the baby that nobody wanted was fucking my head up.

I heard my passenger's door opening, but that didn't matter. I was so focused on the woman about fifty feet away. I had so many emotions going on inside. I haven't even lowered my lift yet. Do I have to do this? Probably yes. Am I ready? Probably not. Is this a good idea? Nope it's not.

"Chica, you don't have to do this today. Let's just leave."

She snapped me back into reality. I looked right at Madison. So, she knew that I was going to start to sign.

"If I don't do this now, I will never do this. I just need one answer from that baby maker." Somehow Miranda had gotten out of Angelheart without making a noise. She was pacing back and forth. "Can you handle her while I face Elizabeth?"

Yes, I used the name my dad wrote. In the back of my mind, the idea of text messaging Clay about pain killers seem to be really tempting. I got to stay strong.

I pushed the button to my lift. I had someone do something genius. When I have my driver's door open it doesn't affect my battery power. Don't ask how. All I know that I won't kill my battery with my lift. By the time I got to solid ground and closed my lift up. I knew I had gotten an audience.

"You are definitely the most independent wheelchair person I know."

"M, you haven't seen anything yet. Ashley is pretty cool to watch while she is in action."

I held my hand out. Madison gave me my keys and I Pad.

_**"Why don't you and Madison go inside and start the special float**_?"

I was hoping this wasn't going to be more awkward than it has to be.

"Sure, but are you allergic to anything or strongly dislike anything?"

_**"I don't like coconuts or black twisters. I don't have any food allergies**_."

Madison looked torn. I knew that she knows what will happen.

"Are you insane? You blindly tried Kyla's special surprise and now you're risking your life with M's special float."

Miranda literately slapped the back of Madison's head. I busted out laughing. I was starting to really like Miranda. She pulled Madison into Ego. I looked to where the two women are standing. They looked like they were having an intense conversation. Part of me wanted to just go inside with the girls, but I can't ignore this burning need to confront Elizabeth. I started heading towards the women. I stopped and quickly tucked my necklace into my shirt. By the time, they noticed that I was near. Elizabeth looked like she wanted to bail. I looked down at my I Pad. I heard Bianca's voice.

_**"Thank You for giving Miranda a ride."**_

I quickly typed on I Pad.

"_**No thanks is needed. I was at the right place at the right time**_."

I heard a chuckle.

"Well thank you anyway."

_**"You are welcome. So you guys her moms right?"**_

I still haven't looked up yet, nor has Elizabeth said anything to me.

"Yes. Is that a problem?"

_**"Somewhat, not because you guys are married or anything like that.**_"

"Ashley, can you look at me please?" I slowly looked up at Bianca. "I am not going to pretend that I know what's going through that beautiful mind of yours, but one thing I know that you're in need of a hug. Do you mind if Maggie hugs you?"

I looked down and thought of how to say this without letting myself completely lash out. Before I click speak, I looked at Bianca.

_**"No offense I don't need nor want a hug from Elizabeth. I got to go and drink whatever you guys' normal daughter's float is."**_

I had to fix my wording because I had excluded Bianca referring to Miranda. I am mad yes, but not to the point of being rude about it. I can tell from how Miranda was talking about her Momma, they were close.

I saw Elizabeth was walking away. Something snapped in me. I put my wheelchair on the highest speed and got in front of her. She stopped dead in her tracks. I stared into her eyes for a minute then started typing.

"_**Why wasn't I normal enough to keep or love?**_"

After a few minutes of silence, I gave up and just went into Ego. I heard Bianca saying "She gave you a chance to say anything you wanted to her and you just stood there. What the fuck is wrong with you that you couldn't say a word to your hurt daughter?"

I tried looking happy in front of the two girls, but it was pointless. All I wanted was to leave, but I won't do that until I try Miranda's float.

"Chica, you look like you're in serious pain. Are your ribs hurting?"

I shook my head.

"Wait, what's wrong with her ribs?"

"She has bruised ribs."

"How in the hell?"

I jumped in.

"_**Nothing to worry about. Let's just drink the special float."**_

I heard the door opening.

"Hey Momma. How are you?"

"I'm good baby girl. I see you're making that special float of yours."

Madison was staring at me as if she was trying to read my mind. I hate being me at the moment.

"Yes, Ashley agreed to test it."

Bianca turned to me. Her face showed concern. I wasn't ready for her to say something so I quickly typed.

_**"What is in it?"**_

"Oh just veggies and vanilla yogurt with diet root beer. Sound good?"

What the fuck? All three of them burst out laughing.

"Chica, you can't hide your disgusted reaction so well."

_**"Shut up Mads or your ass will be walking home.**_"

Miranda walked towards me with a cup.

"Trust me you would love this." My phone chimed. I looked at my cell. It was a picture text of a really excited Haley. It put a smile on my face. "What are you smiling about?"

_**"My best friend & her mom are coming to California for her birthday Weekend next Thursday."**_

"Where are you from?"

"_**I thought you read up about me, but I am from the keystone state."**_

I could tell Bianca and Madison were just watching the interaction between us.

"Duh, you're a Phillies fan and Steelers fan also. Do you like the Sixers too?"

I laughed and shook my head no.

**_"Not really a fan of the Sixers, I'm more of a Spurs fan_**."

Miranda's eyes widened.

"I know well my I mean our mom knows Tony Parker and Tim Duncun."

Now this just got a bit weird.

**_"That is pretty cool. I met them once last year._**"

My eyes were focused on my I Pad trying to control my emotions.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't of said that."

**_"It's OK, she's your mother and I'm just not ready to think of her as my mother nor somebody I want to know."_**

"I get it and I promise I won't mention her like that again until you're ready. Now try this out before you wimp out of trying my amazing float."

**_"Please! I am a Davies, we don't wimp out of anything. Hand me the cup._**"

I looked around for a table that my wheelchair could fit under properly. Madison noticed what I was doing. She got up from the bar area.

"Bianca, which tables can be adjusted. I remember Maggie telling me there were tables."

"Oh yea. I think the ones with metal legs are adjustable. Let me check." I felt like an idiot watching Bianca and Madison searching.

**_"Guys, it's not a big deal. Once I drink the float. I gotta to go. If somebody can hold my iPad while I drink. I should be okay."_**

Miranda looked a little wary taking my iPad. I stretched out my left hand a few of times before taking the glass cup. My right hand can't hold cups without the support of my left hand. I heard footsteps behind me. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her. I swallowed down the bomb that wanting to explode. I looked inside the cup. It looked green.

"If you could swallow what Kyla had made then this should be nothing."

Everybody laughed but me. I just glared towards Madison.

"Wait a second, how was that even possible? Kyla's special surprise is non edible."

"Well M, Ashley is the type of person who would do anything to put a smile on peoples faces. Kyla was happy."

Miranda faced me.

"Angel Heart seems to fit you." I almost dropped the float, but somebody put their hand under the cup. "Nice reflexes mom."

This is not happening.

"Thanks Tiger. Can you make me one with Madison?"

Madison looked as uneasy as I am.

"Ashley, are you OK? You look like you're really hurting."

Day number two, in my wheelchair for a while was doing a number on my ribs. I just nodded and muster up the courage to sign. I looked at Elizabeth while slightly letting go of the untouched float. She seemed to get the hint cause she grabbed the cup. I gave a slight nod. My attention was back on Madison, so she knew what I was going to do.

"My ribs are really sore but it's expected. Do you get the feeling she is wanting to get rid of you and Miranda?"

Madison signed back.

"You look like shit. I'm not leaving you to deal with this fucked up situation unless you want me poison her float."

That put a smile on my face.

"Thanks, but I will be OK. Just rush M so we can bolt out of here. No poisoning either. She's Miranda's mom after all."

"OK OK you two. This isn't fair that you're signing and I can't understand you guys. Now what was it that you were signing?"

"M, Ashley said after we make your mom's float we got to head out."

Bianca snickered. Madison and I were both confused.

"I know sign language ladies." I face palmed. "You guys can go now so Ashley can take care of her ribs. It had been what a month? Weren't you given any pain killers?"

I was becoming really uncomfortable. Madison sensed it happening. She quickly answered.

"Ashley doesn't like painkillers so she's toughing it out."

I grabbed the float and downed it as fast I could. It was actually good.

"Dang, that is the fastest someone drank my float. Do you like it?"

I pointed to my iPad so she could get the hint. She handed me my iPad.

_**"It was delicious. Thank you." **_

"You're welcome. I guess you got to leave now."

**"Madison can text you my number. You can text me anytime except during my Buffy marathon Saturday." **

Everybody was laughing but me.

"M, she's serious. I almost think she needs to be committed for her Buffy obsession."

_**"OK OK let's go."**_

I started to the door.

"WAIT." I stopped abruptly. I let out a pained sigh. Two arms wrapped around me. She whispered. "You are normal. And she loves you. Just give her a chance to explain in her own time."

Once Bianca let me go, I quickly signed.

"You and her don't have any fucking idea what my life had been like." Tears started forming. "She had almost eighteen years to be there, but she wasn't. You have no right to tell me to give the coward more time."

She tried to say something, but Madison stopped her.

"Let's go." She blocked Miranda's and Elizabeth's view. I sped out of there. Thank god only Madison followed me. Once I am close to Angel Heart, I pushed the button on my chair to open Angel Heart. "Kaiden asked if I could buy the bottle for you. Do you want to stop or I can get Glen to buy it?"

I wiped my eyes. Signed.

"Are you OK about it?"

"Honestly, I can't imagine what are you feeling, but if you need it. It's not my place to judge. Let's get the hell out of here."

NOONE's POV

Silence filled Ego. Each in their own thoughts. The youngest of the three spoke up.

"What in the hell was that?"

"Language."

"No mom. You should have told me the full story. Now it's seriously wrong."

Miranda slammed the cup onto the bar. The two older women shared a look.

"I'm sorry."

Miranda shook her head in disbelief.

"Wrong person that you should be apologizing to. I told Ashley you hate Raife when I first found out. Apparently you lied about that too!"

The older woman started to pace. She knew that Miranda would be pissed.

"Look I can explain. You don't know what it was like. I was young and didn't know how to take care a vegetable baby."

"MOM, stop making excuses that makes yourself sleep at night. You out of all the people know what it was like knowing your birth parents gave up on you. Fix this or you will lose another daughter."

"Miranda, that is no way to talk to your mom."

"No momma. You don't get it. I spent time with Ashley. I learned quite alot about what kind of person she is. For what she has, she is pretty strong, but I know for a fact with knowing that her entire life was a lie up until a letter from a dead father is messing her head up. Mom doesn't get to feel OK with this."

ASHLEY'S POV (A hour and half later.)

"Chica, are you coming in?"

I sighed while grabbing my iPad.

**_"In a bit. I need some time out here alone." _**

My head wasn't in a place that I could just ignore it. Madison nodded and took the stuff inside the loft.

I let out a much needed scream. I knew I was stupid thinking I could handle today. All of my insecurities came back full force. Elizabeth M. Stone is Maggie Montgomery who has a wife and a daughter. How should I feel about that? My father was a big time rockstar who cheated on Christine, who I was led to believe was my mother.

Why didn't anybody tell me? Even my mommom must of known. How am I supposed to feel? Furious? Upset? Hate? My entire life would be different. Maybe Kaiden would have Christine in his life if I wasn't there. She probably would never have left him with the sorry excuse for grandparents that we had. I finally got out of AngelHeart, raised my wheelchair so sand didn't get into my battery. I parked a few feet from the tide. I saw something washing up on the shore. It looked like a necklace. My curiosity got the best of me, so I took off my sneakers and socks. I checked my pockets to see if I had anything important. I should text Madison and let her pick the necklace up, but I am a stubborn Davies.

I looked around first, so I knew I needed to put my chair in lock down mode. Just a safety thing that my brother thought I needed because between Angel Heart and Davies 143 I spent three million dollars combined for both of them.

I backed up some before getting out of my chair. I put my cell into the secret department under my seat. I figured I should roll towards the spot I saw the shiny thing. Not the smartest idea but fastest. I heard a familiar laugh. When did she get here?

"Having fun down there?"

"Haha very funny."

"Of course it's hilarious seeing you rolling in the sand."

"Shut up. I saw something shiny."

"Why don't you ask for help?"

"Why ask if I know what I am doing?"

"You're being a stubborn smart ass."

"And you're being an annoying blonde."

I heard her laughing.

"OK would you like my help?"

"Nah, I am almost there now."

"You just don't like people helping you."

"Seriously Blue Eyes?"

"Yes seriously Ash."

I finally reached my destination.

"If I can do it then why ask for help?"

"OK. Maybe to make it easier on you."

"Spencer, don't you know by now that life isn't easy."

The tide is making me wet, but I welcome the coldness. I picked up the necklace to find out it was a locket.

"It can be."

I looked at her and shook my head.

"It can't be. Nothing is easy."

"Because you don't believe in it."

"Why does it matter what I believe?"

"Because..." She paused for a few minutes. "Because I think you need to believe in something for yourself."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, but please let me help you out of the tide. It looks like it getting higher."

I didn't realize that the tide was getting higher. I could try rolling, but one thing I didn't take in the equation. Wet sand and rolling doesn't mix. Well I guess I got to accept her offer.

"OK, would you stand me up and help me walk to my chair?"

"I guess I can."

I put the locket in my pocket. I sat up.

"Did your school train you how to do this? Or should I walk you through the steps?"

"I think I got it covered. Mind if I have Madison spot me? It's just because I don't know about the sand and I would rather have somebody here just in case..."

"SPENCER! Stop the rambling and call Madison out here. My balance is not as good as yours plus this is wrecking havic on my ribs."

"Right sorry."

She quickly called Madison.

"You know I have to start trusting you as a PT. In order for that to happen you got to trust yourself."

"Not tonight. I got a few days until work."

"What is it with you?"

"I'm scared of hurting you."

I didn't know how to respond because it seemed it had a double meaning. Her voice changed some. Luckily Madison came.

"What the hell?"

"Don't ask. Spot me?"

"OK, but wouldn't it be easier if we do it together?"

"Yes, but I gotta try considering Ashley here thinks I need to trust myself."

Madison just laughed and look straight at me.

"You're seriously liking pushing the limits."

I just nodded as I watched Spencer walk closer. Maybe this was a bad idea. I am not sure about the sand let alone wet sand. How can I help if I don't have any solid ground. OK OK I need to stop freaking out here. Spencer seems like she would know what to do.

"Mads, we most likely need help. This is what I need for you to do, once I have Ashley bend her knees. You will have to hold her feet in place while I get her standing. After that I think we would be OK."

"Blue Eyes, tell Madison whatever she does don't make me laugh until we reach my wheelchair or there will be problems."

"OK, Mads no making Ash laugh until she is in the wheelchair."

She nodded. Spencer got directly behind me.

"Ashley, I am not sure what you can and can not do, so you need to tell me if I am asking too much." I nodded. "OK, when you're ready bend your knees as much you can. You can use my legs as support." With the waves crashing into us, it was hard to keep my legs from not falling sideways. "Mads, can you help now? The waves are getting stronger."

"OK."

Spencer thought this out.

"Put your hands on her knees until I stablize myself then hold on to her feet. Ashley, loosen up your arms some. We got you."

I tried as best I could. After the wave crashed, Spencer spun in action. She snaked her arms under my armpits and hooked her hands just under my breast. I sucked in a quick breath. My legs started spasming. Lucky Madison was accustomed to it.

"Are you set?"

"Yes." Madison switched from my knees to my frozen feet. "Ash, on three push up as much you can. One, two, three!"

We both were standing way too easy. I know my legs weren't that good. Madison stood up.

"Wow, Spence you made that look easy."

I kinda pushed her hands down some. I just didn't feel comfortable.

"Mads, you do know I'm trying to become a physical therapist right?" Madison laughed some. "When you ready Ash you can start walking." I took a deep breath and pray my legs won't give out. I took a step. My legs shook more. "Ash, your legs are shaking."

"Way to point out the obvious."

I kept walking if I stop, my legs would give out.

"Spence, just a tiny tip. Ashley doesn't need you to point her spasms out."

Madison had been helping me over the past month, so she knew my biggest pet peeve is people who point out shit about my body. I snapped at Madison quite a few times.

"It's in my job description. I'm making an observation."

Just a few more steps then I'd be out of Spencer's arms. I hated depending on people since I know the only person I should depend on is myself.

"Don't say I didn't warn you."

Madison went back inside.

"What did she mean by that?"

Once we got to my chair. I decided to have some fun.

"Well since you're the P. T, how do you suppose I get into my chair like this?"

Of course, I knew how, but I am testing her.

"I'm just following my gut. Can you turn around so you're facing me?"

"Truthfully no I can't. My legs are getting tired."

I wasn't going to try showing off when I know that I can't while my legs were tired.

"OK, I'm going to get in front of you so I can help you better."

She took a few minutes before moving. I was really fighting my body to not let my legs give out. Once she was in front of me. My stomach began to feel like so many butterflies were flying around.

"Wow. Beautiful."

Shit shit I didn't just say that out loud.

"Wow, thanks but I'm pretty sure you're more beautiful than I am."

Her eyes were full of wonder. I'm not sure what is happening to me. Sure Spencer is my dream girl, but doesn't mean in a romantic way. Maybe she is just someone I once saw and don't remember it.

"Impossible. I really need to sit now."


End file.
